MILF_HUNTER
02-02-2004, 08:03 PM
The Beer Scooter
>
>This story explains a lot of things. !!!!
>
>How many times have you woken up in the morning after
>a hard night drinking and thought How on earth did I
>get home? As hard as you try, you cannot piece
>together your return journey from the pub to your
>house.
>
>The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer
>Scooter. The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of
>transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus
>the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large
>batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works
>in the following fashion:
>
>The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness
>and the "slurring gland" begins to give off a
>pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors
>detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer
>Scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and
>deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional
>Portal.
>
>This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the
>passengers in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This
>answers the second question after a night out How did
>I spend so much money?
>
>Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record
>and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all
>UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries), such as skinned
>knees and a sore spot on the top of your head.
>
>An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the
>destruction of time segments during the trip. The
>nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time
>will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for.
>
>This answers a third question after a night out What
>the hell happened? With good intentions, Bacchus opted
>for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing Moments In
>Time) add on, that automatically removes, in
>descending order, those parts in time regretted most.
>Unfortunately one persons REMIT is not necessarily the
>REMIT of anothers and quite often-lost time is
>regained in discussions over a period of time.
>
>Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles
>often cause the scooters navigation system to
>malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong
>bedroom, often with horrific consequences.
>
>For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with
>flowers picked from other peoples garden and
>Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots are
>designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you
>tiptoe up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your
>other half.
>
>Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into
>every wall in the house and the CTSGS (Coffee Table
>Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.
>
>The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some
>scooters is the TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This
>explains how one person can apparently get through 260
>Marlboro Lights in a single night.
>
>PS: Dont forget the on-board heater, which allows you
>to comfortably get home from the pub in sub-zero
>temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.
>
:macho
>
>This story explains a lot of things. !!!!
>
>How many times have you woken up in the morning after
>a hard night drinking and thought How on earth did I
>get home? As hard as you try, you cannot piece
>together your return journey from the pub to your
>house.
>
>The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer
>Scooter. The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of
>transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus
>the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large
>batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works
>in the following fashion:
>
>The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness
>and the "slurring gland" begins to give off a
>pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors
>detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer
>Scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and
>deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional
>Portal.
>
>This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the
>passengers in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This
>answers the second question after a night out How did
>I spend so much money?
>
>Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record
>and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all
>UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries), such as skinned
>knees and a sore spot on the top of your head.
>
>An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the
>destruction of time segments during the trip. The
>nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time
>will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for.
>
>This answers a third question after a night out What
>the hell happened? With good intentions, Bacchus opted
>for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing Moments In
>Time) add on, that automatically removes, in
>descending order, those parts in time regretted most.
>Unfortunately one persons REMIT is not necessarily the
>REMIT of anothers and quite often-lost time is
>regained in discussions over a period of time.
>
>Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles
>often cause the scooters navigation system to
>malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong
>bedroom, often with horrific consequences.
>
>For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with
>flowers picked from other peoples garden and
>Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots are
>designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you
>tiptoe up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your
>other half.
>
>Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into
>every wall in the house and the CTSGS (Coffee Table
>Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.
>
>The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some
>scooters is the TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This
>explains how one person can apparently get through 260
>Marlboro Lights in a single night.
>
>PS: Dont forget the on-board heater, which allows you
>to comfortably get home from the pub in sub-zero
>temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.
>
:macho