NeonImpact
01-07-2004, 06:01 PM
Why It's Great To Be A Guy!
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might
become lifelong buddies
* The garage is all yours
* You don't have to shave below your neck
* Your last name stays put
* You can leave a hotel room bed unmade
* Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3
* The remote is yours and yours alone
* Gray hair and wrinkles add character
* If you're 34 and single, no one notices
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
* You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be
your friend
* Wedding plans take care of themselves
* Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100 bucks
* None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry
* You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to
look like him
* Chocolate is just another snack
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
* One mood, all the time
* You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"
* You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat
* Same work........more pay
* You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's
* You can kill your own food
* You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the
bathroom
* If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't
tell your friends you've changed
* If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer
and throw it across the room
* You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is funny
* Phone conversations last 30 seconds
* You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes
* A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase
* Bathroom lines are 80% shorter
* You can open all your own jars
* Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight
* When clicking thru the channels you don't have to stop on every
shot of someone crying
* You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you
everywhere you go
* You can go to the bathroom alone
* Flowers (or duct tape) fix everything
* Three pair of shoes are more than enough
* You can whip your shirt off on a hot day
* Car mechanics tell you the truth
* You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy
thinking "He must be mad at me"
* You don't give a damn if someone doesn't notice your new haircut
Hope you all got a good laugh out of this as I did.
:D
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might
become lifelong buddies
* The garage is all yours
* You don't have to shave below your neck
* Your last name stays put
* You can leave a hotel room bed unmade
* Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3
* The remote is yours and yours alone
* Gray hair and wrinkles add character
* If you're 34 and single, no one notices
* New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
* You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be
your friend
* Wedding plans take care of themselves
* Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100 bucks
* None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry
* You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to
look like him
* Chocolate is just another snack
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
* One mood, all the time
* You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"
* You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat
* Same work........more pay
* You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's
* You can kill your own food
* You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the
bathroom
* If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't
tell your friends you've changed
* If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer
and throw it across the room
* You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is funny
* Phone conversations last 30 seconds
* You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes
* A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase
* Bathroom lines are 80% shorter
* You can open all your own jars
* Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight
* When clicking thru the channels you don't have to stop on every
shot of someone crying
* You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you
everywhere you go
* You can go to the bathroom alone
* Flowers (or duct tape) fix everything
* Three pair of shoes are more than enough
* You can whip your shirt off on a hot day
* Car mechanics tell you the truth
* You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy
thinking "He must be mad at me"
* You don't give a damn if someone doesn't notice your new haircut
Hope you all got a good laugh out of this as I did.
:D