Foxyangel0425
12-11-2003, 03:55 PM
Definitions
>
>Aquadextrious:
> The art of turning the bathtub tap on with your toes.
>
>Pain:
> A cat licking your sunburn.
>
>Budget:
>A method for going broke methodically.
>
>Willpower:
> The ability to eat only one salted peanut.
>
>Profanity:
>The linguistic crutch of inarticulate idiots.
>
>Boat:
> A hole in the water surrounded by wood into
> which one pours money.
>
>Bachelor:
>One who treats all women as sequels.
>
>Cigarette:
>A pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper,
> fire at one end, fool at the other.
>
>Flashlight:
> A case for holding dead batteries.
>
>Taxpayer:
>Someone who doesn't have to take a public
>service exam to work for the government.
>
>Consciousness:
>That annoying time between naps.
>
>Stress:
>The confusion created when ones mind overrides
>the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out
> of some idiot who desperately needs it.
>
>Jury:
>Twelve people who determine which client
> has the better lawyer
>
>Chickens:
>The only animals you eat before they are
>born and after they're dead.
>
>Hospitality:
>Making your guests feel at home,
>even if you wish they were.
>
>Adult:
> A person who has stopped growing at both ends
>and is now growing in the middle.
>
>Aquadextrious:
> The art of turning the bathtub tap on with your toes.
>
>Pain:
> A cat licking your sunburn.
>
>Budget:
>A method for going broke methodically.
>
>Willpower:
> The ability to eat only one salted peanut.
>
>Profanity:
>The linguistic crutch of inarticulate idiots.
>
>Boat:
> A hole in the water surrounded by wood into
> which one pours money.
>
>Bachelor:
>One who treats all women as sequels.
>
>Cigarette:
>A pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper,
> fire at one end, fool at the other.
>
>Flashlight:
> A case for holding dead batteries.
>
>Taxpayer:
>Someone who doesn't have to take a public
>service exam to work for the government.
>
>Consciousness:
>That annoying time between naps.
>
>Stress:
>The confusion created when ones mind overrides
>the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out
> of some idiot who desperately needs it.
>
>Jury:
>Twelve people who determine which client
> has the better lawyer
>
>Chickens:
>The only animals you eat before they are
>born and after they're dead.
>
>Hospitality:
>Making your guests feel at home,
>even if you wish they were.
>
>Adult:
> A person who has stopped growing at both ends
>and is now growing in the middle.