Ryan
12-08-2003, 05:15 PM
This is some funny stuff :D
> > > >> Dearest Santa,
> > > >> We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you
> > > get into our home?
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Marky
> > > >>
> > > >> Mark,
> > > >> Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's
> > > why you're getting your
> > > >***
> > > >> whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a
> > > house, that's a
> > > >low-rent
> > > >> apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I
> > > get inside your pad just
> > > >like all
> > > >> the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
> > > >> Sweet Dreams!
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> *******************************************
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv
> > > ben a good boy all
> > > >yeer.
> > > >> YeR FReND,
> > > >> BiLLy
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Billy,
> > > >> Nice spelling. You're well on your way to being
> > > a career lawn care
> > > >specialist.
> > > >> How 'bout I send you a book so you can learn to
> > > read and write? I'm
> > > >giving
> > > >your
> > > >> older brother the space ranger, at least HE can
> > > spell!
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> ****************************************
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I have been a good girl all year, and the only
> > > thing I ask for is peace
> > > >and joy
> > > >> in the world for everybody!
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Sarah
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Sarah,
> > > >> Your parents smoked pot when they had you,
> > > didn't they?
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> ***************************************
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I've written you for three years now asking for
> > > a fire truck. Please, I
> > > >really
> > > >> really want a fire truck this year!
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Joey
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Joey,
> > > >> Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm
> > > gonna torch your house.
> > > >You'll
> > > >> have more fire trucks than
> > > >> you'll know what to do with.
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> ***************************************
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I don't know if you can do this, but for
> > > Christmas, I'd like for my
> > > >mommy and
> > > >> daddy to get back together.
> > > >> Please see what you can do.
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Teddy
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Teddy,
> > > >> What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still
> > > having with the baby
> > > >sitter?
> > > >> He's banging her like a screen
> > > >> door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some
> > > nice Legos instead.
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> ****************************************
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I left milk and cookies for you under the tree,
> > > and I left carrots for
> > > >your
> > > >> reindeer outside the backdoor.
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Susan
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Susan,
> > > >> Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the
> > > deer fart in my face. You
> > > >want to
> > > >> be a kiss-***? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal
> > > and some Toblerone.
> > > >> Santa
> > > >> ***************************************
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
> > > Are you making toys?
> > > >> Your friend,
> > > >> Thomas
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Thomas,
> > > >> All toys get made in China. I have a condo in
> > > Vegas, where I spend most
> > > >my time
> > > >> squeezing cocktail waitresses asses, and losing
> > > all my cash at the craps
> > > >table.
> > > >> Hey, YOU wanted to know!
> > > >> Santa
> > > >> ***************************************
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really
> > > know when we're awake,
> > > >like in
> > > >> the song?
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Jessica
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Jessica,
> > > >> You are that gullible? Good luck in whatever you
> > > do, I'm skipping your
> > > >house...
> > > >>
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> *************************************
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I really really want a puppy this year. Please
> > > please please PLEASE,
> > > >> Timmy
> > > >>
> > > >> Timmy,
> > > >>
> > > >> That whiney begging **** may work with your
> > > folks, but that crap don't
> > > >work up
> > > >> here. You're getting a sweater
> > > >> AGAIN.
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> Dearest Santa,
> > > >> We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you
> > > get into our home?
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Marky
> > > >>
> > > >> Mark,
> > > >> Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's
> > > why you're getting your
> > > >***
> > > >> whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a
> > > house, that's a
> > > >low-rent
> > > >> apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I
> > > get inside your pad just
> > > >like all
> > > >> the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
> > > >> Sweet Dreams!
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> *******************************************
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv
> > > ben a good boy all
> > > >yeer.
> > > >> YeR FReND,
> > > >> BiLLy
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Billy,
> > > >> Nice spelling. You're well on your way to being
> > > a career lawn care
> > > >specialist.
> > > >> How 'bout I send you a book so you can learn to
> > > read and write? I'm
> > > >giving
> > > >your
> > > >> older brother the space ranger, at least HE can
> > > spell!
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> ****************************************
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I have been a good girl all year, and the only
> > > thing I ask for is peace
> > > >and joy
> > > >> in the world for everybody!
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Sarah
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Sarah,
> > > >> Your parents smoked pot when they had you,
> > > didn't they?
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> ***************************************
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I've written you for three years now asking for
> > > a fire truck. Please, I
> > > >really
> > > >> really want a fire truck this year!
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Joey
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Joey,
> > > >> Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm
> > > gonna torch your house.
> > > >You'll
> > > >> have more fire trucks than
> > > >> you'll know what to do with.
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> ***************************************
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I don't know if you can do this, but for
> > > Christmas, I'd like for my
> > > >mommy and
> > > >> daddy to get back together.
> > > >> Please see what you can do.
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Teddy
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Teddy,
> > > >> What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still
> > > having with the baby
> > > >sitter?
> > > >> He's banging her like a screen
> > > >> door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some
> > > nice Legos instead.
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> ****************************************
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I left milk and cookies for you under the tree,
> > > and I left carrots for
> > > >your
> > > >> reindeer outside the backdoor.
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Susan
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Susan,
> > > >> Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the
> > > deer fart in my face. You
> > > >want to
> > > >> be a kiss-***? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal
> > > and some Toblerone.
> > > >> Santa
> > > >> ***************************************
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
> > > Are you making toys?
> > > >> Your friend,
> > > >> Thomas
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Thomas,
> > > >> All toys get made in China. I have a condo in
> > > Vegas, where I spend most
> > > >my time
> > > >> squeezing cocktail waitresses asses, and losing
> > > all my cash at the craps
> > > >table.
> > > >> Hey, YOU wanted to know!
> > > >> Santa
> > > >> ***************************************
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really
> > > know when we're awake,
> > > >like in
> > > >> the song?
> > > >> Love,
> > > >> Jessica
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Jessica,
> > > >> You are that gullible? Good luck in whatever you
> > > do, I'm skipping your
> > > >house...
> > > >>
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>
> > > >> *************************************
> > > >>
> > > >> Dear Santa,
> > > >> I really really want a puppy this year. Please
> > > please please PLEASE,
> > > >> Timmy
> > > >>
> > > >> Timmy,
> > > >>
> > > >> That whiney begging **** may work with your
> > > folks, but that crap don't
> > > >work up
> > > >> here. You're getting a sweater
> > > >> AGAIN.
> > > >> Santa
> > > >>