Foxyangel0425
10-27-2003, 05:43 AM
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get
to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went
to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children
while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm
drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what
God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor"
thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing
a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall
not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother
has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her
brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are
some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time
that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs
turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a
while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are
white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying
to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think
how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And
there's the teacher, She's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn
red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I
am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run
into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of
apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE.
God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end
of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get
to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went
to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children
while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working
diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm
drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what
God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor"
thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing
a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall
not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother
has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her
brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are
some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time
that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs
turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a
while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are
white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying
to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think
how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And
there's the teacher, She's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn
red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I
am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run
into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of
apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE.
God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end
of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.