Funniest Sayings/Quotes/Ect....

[Ryan300exRider]

Hey guys im making a website and i just wanna put like a funny section on it and i was wondering if you guys could post like your funny sayings or anything like that.....Here's one i found ..... Have Fun !!:blah

12 Sure Fire Ways on How to Get a Girlfriend
1.Wear tight shirts
2.Wear jeans with the fly down
3.Wear black timberlands
4.Always have a huge rip in
5.If anyone says n e thing flip out on them
6.Chicks love a bad ***
7.You must have the Bi's
8.You must have the Tri's
9.Flirt with every girl u know
10.You must have the ab's or your nothing
11.Jam out to stupid music
12.Make fun of yourself when u screw up

6 Things to do after you get the girl

1.Zip up the fly
2.Wear lighter colord shirts
3.Take out the rip
4.Be some what nice to people
5.Always put ur arm around her
6.Never let her meet your parents

[GOMER007]

If you whant a storry I got this


John Deer Gator…..Kawasaki mule……Polaris ranger…. and Yamaha Grizzly Shoot-out.
This is a shoot out like none other, once in a lifetime, totally off the wall!!
The board of directors decided that the ultimate shoot-out be done at a mx track, in a mx race with other professional racing atvs.
Let me introduce the competitors:
1.Riding the John Deer Gator is….Mr. John and his deer pet, alligator in the back box.
2.Riding the Kawasaki mule is……Mr. Saki and his “stubborn as a mule” pet milk Kow, in the back box.
3.Riding the Polaris Ranger is …….Rangerbob and his dog, named Ranger#2
4.Riding the 03 metallic titanic Grizzly tank…..Rusty Shackleford
So here they all are at the starting gate, revving there engines….and ….There..OFF…AAAAAAAAAAh……No there not….We have a problem at the starting gate with Rusty and his titanic metallic grizzly. Apparently, he mistake the three orange LT250s beside him for polarises and attempted to tie his tow rope onto them, but somehow got his fat head wedged between the fender and handlebar. After a short time and a 3000lb winch, they got his head free and proceeded to start with the race. AAAnd there off in a cloud of dust. And you wouldn’t believe it, Mr. Saki on his Kawasaki mule with his stubborn as a mule milk kow in the back, gets the hole shot and takes the first turn. Followed by Mr. John riding his John Deer Gater with his pet alla- gater in the box in a close second, followed by Rusty Shacklegrizzly, and bringing up the rear is Rangerbob and his Polaris Ranger with his dog Ranger#2 in the box.
After going threw the “woops bumps” the Kow in the back of the Kawasaki is having problems. Her milk is curdling and the lush green grass that it gorged itself on, is having an effect. And for each woops, a bit more relief for the Cow. Wow, thank goodness for goggles! The John Deer Gater is now gaining, but the suspension that it doesn’t have, is not holding out very well, and the alla- gater in the box is cranky cuz its jaws are keeping up with the rpm of the engine. They are now neck in neck, The John Deer Gater and the Kawasaki mule, side by side. Now something very strange and utterly unexpected happens. The alli-gater in the back of the Gater suddenly reaches out towards the milk cow in the back of the Kawsaki Mule and…………bites the flippin cows udder clean off! Udderly terrible for the cow. The alli-gater is now holding the cow’s big udder in it’s mouth and……..oooops….up it flys through the air, only to land with a huge SPLAT on Rusty’s chest……actually in perfect formation. Rusty, still speeding along on his metallic, titanic grizzly, looking like the ultimate sex change gone wrong! It was like looking at two topless dancers in one body….4eyes…..cross-eyed…..a quad….2much4me…!! He couldn’t free his hands for fear of rolling the “none swaybarred” grizzly so he just hung on and kept it pinned. Now another strange thing happened, Rusty noticed that most of the riders were following him when he pulled off the track……but why…..Its got to be one of two theories or both. For the Honda riders, they are so used to sucking the hind tit that they thought it only natural to follow the big udder…….OR….maybe they were just curious and had never seen a “double”topless dancer riding a titanic metallic Yamaha grizzly and the hormone thing kicked in! Well, Rusty made a loop around, with everyone except ranger bob, hot on his heels. He hit the first double jump kind of hard while slurping milk and cottage cheese from his cheeks. Then the ooops bumps came along…. OOOOH my…. Rustys udderly ridiculous chest of udder resembled four big piggys fighting under a blanket…..without the flippin blanket!!
Eat your heart out Ripleys Believe it or Not!! Just then something udderly disastrous happened, Rusty hit the corner to fast and ……WoLa…you guessed it……He rolled his big metallic titanical grizzly…(again) and what a pileup! Well after the dust cleared, the udder had flown in the air again and was caught, and swallowed by the alli-gater. Everyone else piled up in a huge wreck. Ranger bob fell out of his Ranger and his dog, Ranger#2 managed to drive the Ranger to victory, first, second and third. The cows udder was recovered out of the alli-gaters stomach and sown back on to the cow with a miniature sowing machine that blaster88 happened to have in his pocket after his vet class was out at collage.
After the board of directors met for there meeting on the ATV shootout, they decided that next year live ammunition would work much better!!
HAPPY RIDING!!

[honda400exrider]

Originally posted by GOMER007
If you whant a storry I got this


John Deer Gator…..Kawasaki mule……Polaris ranger…. and Yamaha Grizzly Shoot-out.
This is a shoot out like none other, once in a lifetime, totally off the wall!!
The board of directors decided that the ultimate shoot-out be done at a mx track, in a mx race with other professional racing atvs.
Let me introduce the competitors:
1.Riding the John Deer Gator is….Mr. John and his deer pet, alligator in the back box.
2.Riding the Kawasaki mule is……Mr. Saki and his “stubborn as a mule” pet milk Kow, in the back box.
3.Riding the Polaris Ranger is …….Rangerbob and his dog, named Ranger#2
4.Riding the 03 metallic titanic Grizzly tank…..Rusty Shackleford
So here they all are at the starting gate, revving there engines….and ….There..OFF…AAAAAAAAAAh……No there not….We have a problem at the starting gate with Rusty and his titanic metallic grizzly. Apparently, he mistake the three orange LT250s beside him for polarises and attempted to tie his tow rope onto them, but somehow got his fat head wedged between the fender and handlebar. After a short time and a 3000lb winch, they got his head free and proceeded to start with the race. AAAnd there off in a cloud of dust. And you wouldn’t believe it, Mr. Saki on his Kawasaki mule with his stubborn as a mule milk kow in the back, gets the hole shot and takes the first turn. Followed by Mr. John riding his John Deer Gater with his pet alla- gater in the box in a close second, followed by Rusty Shacklegrizzly, and bringing up the rear is Rangerbob and his Polaris Ranger with his dog Ranger#2 in the box.
After going threw the “woops bumps” the Kow in the back of the Kawasaki is having problems. Her milk is curdling and the lush green grass that it gorged itself on, is having an effect. And for each woops, a bit more relief for the Cow. Wow, thank goodness for goggles! The John Deer Gater is now gaining, but the suspension that it doesn’t have, is not holding out very well, and the alla- gater in the box is cranky cuz its jaws are keeping up with the rpm of the engine. They are now neck in neck, The John Deer Gater and the Kawasaki mule, side by side. Now something very strange and utterly unexpected happens. The alli-gater in the back of the Gater suddenly reaches out towards the milk cow in the back of the Kawsaki Mule and…………bites the flippin cows udder clean off! Udderly terrible for the cow. The alli-gater is now holding the cow’s big udder in it’s mouth and……..oooops….up it flys through the air, only to land with a huge SPLAT on Rusty’s chest……actually in perfect formation. Rusty, still speeding along on his metallic, titanic grizzly, looking like the ultimate sex change gone wrong! It was like looking at two topless dancers in one body….4eyes…..cross-eyed…..a quad….2much4me…!! He couldn’t free his hands for fear of rolling the “none swaybarred” grizzly so he just hung on and kept it pinned. Now another strange thing happened, Rusty noticed that most of the riders were following him when he pulled off the track……but why…..Its got to be one of two theories or both. For the Honda riders, they are so used to sucking the hind tit that they thought it only natural to follow the big udder…….OR….maybe they were just curious and had never seen a “double”topless dancer riding a titanic metallic Yamaha grizzly and the hormone thing kicked in! Well, Rusty made a loop around, with everyone except ranger bob, hot on his heels. He hit the first double jump kind of hard while slurping milk and cottage cheese from his cheeks. Then the ooops bumps came along…. OOOOH my…. Rustys udderly ridiculous chest of udder resembled four big piggys fighting under a blanket…..without the flippin blanket!!
Eat your heart out Ripleys Believe it or Not!! Just then something udderly disastrous happened, Rusty hit the corner to fast and ……WoLa…you guessed it……He rolled his big metallic titanical grizzly…(again) and what a pileup! Well after the dust cleared, the udder had flown in the air again and was caught, and swallowed by the alli-gater. Everyone else piled up in a huge wreck. Ranger bob fell out of his Ranger and his dog, Ranger#2 managed to drive the Ranger to victory, first, second and third. The cows udder was recovered out of the alli-gaters stomach and sown back on to the cow with a miniature sowing machine that blaster88 happened to have in his pocket after his vet class was out at collage.
After the board of directors met for there meeting on the ATV shootout, they decided that next year live ammunition would work much better!!
HAPPY RIDING!!

:huh :huh :huh :huh

[sweet300ex]

i know some but i might get banned if i post them so i wont

[Fender Bender]

I'm gonna quote JabberJaw, (i found this pretty damn funny)

"I would like to go riding with barney so i could see that fat purple ******* fly into a tree"

:D

[Chanman420q]

heres one that i always thought was funny...

Well Bryan Got a New Girl Friend and brought her over for dinner for his Parents to meet. As they were Eating, Elizebeth got a slight discomfert and had to rip one. Wellp she looks around and see's Bryans dog under her chair. Well she decideds to just let the little "poof" out. When she does, Bryans Father goes... SCRUFFEY! Well to her amazement the dog got the total blame. Well 10 mins later she felt another one bruing. So she decided to test her luck and she let another one out. Bryans Dad once again yells at scruffey. Well Right at the end She felt yet another one. So she lets it out and Bryans dad stands up and says " DAMN IT SCRUFFEY MOVE BEFORE SHE ****S ALL OVER YOU "


lol

[JabberJaw]

Originally posted by Fender Bender
I'm gonna quote JabberJaw, (i found this pretty damn funny)

"I would like to go riding with barney so i could see that fat purple ******* fly into a tree"

:D

I only wrote that cause he stole my girl once...

[lil400exman]

i like this one:
3 blondes are walking in the forest. they come upon a set of tracks:
1st blonde says: i think those are moose tracks
2nd says : no dummy! those are dog tracks if i ever saw them!
3rd blonde says:man those are rabbit tracks!

as thery're all arguing.......................






































































a train comes by and hits them all!:blah

[lil400exman]

Originally posted by JabberJaw
I only wrote that cause he stole my girl once...
he must of got her during the hugging part of his song......................thats what i was told tho....................:eek2: :huh

[Mx300exRyder]

"it is better to be pi@#ed off than pi@#ed on!" and "Don't Pi@# in the wind, you will get wet."