GOMER007
04-15-2003, 11:27 AM
ATVman approached me the other day and suggested that I come duck hunting with him the next day. Well, I immediately and excitedly accepted ATVman’s offer. I dug my old shotgun out of the barn, cleaned the spiders and mice out of the barrel, found a full box of shells, wich were kind of wet so I just stuck them in the microwave. I don’t think the microwave was working normal cuz there was sure a lot of banging going on in there, probably because of the extra holes in it that I hadn’t noticed before. Any ways I managed to salvage 3 good shells, which should be enough if I could get all my ducks in a row! Now I know ATVman is a very good hunter so I really wanted to make a good impression. I had just purchased a new laptop computer, which had some unique options on it especially for hunting. I could type in a word and it would loudly make that sound, cool eh! I could use this for a duck call!!
ATVman arrived early the next morning on his atv to pick me up. I grabbed a old horse saddle, and strapped it on his rack (because of Hondas lack of suspension, I wanted a smooth ride) I grabbed my laptop, and my shotgun, my cowboy hat with a hard hat duct taped inside it, and hopped on the saddle, and we took of.
Well it was a very slow ride on the Honda, but we finally made it to the duck pond.
We got all set up in position for the anticipated attack on the ducks, with ATVman getting his duck callout and blowing it a few times. It sounded good, so I dug out my laptop in total excitement, opened it up, and quickly typed in the letters “QUACK” but something went wrong, WOOPS, I should of used “spellcheck”, cuz I actually typed in “QUEER” . The computer began repeating the word “QUEER” over and over. I tried, but I couldn’t shut the computer down. By this time ATVman was laughing at me so hard that it almost hurt my feelings, but just then something happened. Well laughing, ATVman suddenly made a weard sound……… Ha.Ha.Ha.GULPPPP…QUACK….QUACK…..QUACK….. Oh..Oh! He swallowed the duck call and it was stuck in his throat, and when ever he exhaled, it would QUACK repeatedly! The harder ATVman laughed, the louder the QUACKing became. Meanwhile, my laptop is still blaring out the word QUEER….QUEER….QUEER…
I then noticed a very large flock of ducks heading strait for us. Inspite of all the noise, the excitement was building………..until I noticed a bunch of guys running towards us………..who could those guys be……………Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..Oh Oh, they were gay hunters, very angry at us because they thought we were calling them “QUEERs”. I never realized that there were so many gay hunters at the pond. Some even wore pink camo, with matching pink camo on their 250 Kawasaki bayous. EK!!
I then said to ATVman……Lets get outta here!!
ATVman replied……QUACK……quack……QUACK!
I replied…….you don’t have to use such “FOUL” language!!!
ATVman replied…..quack…..QUACK!!
We both hurriedly jumped on the Honda, and I said to ATVman….
Comeon, hurry up!
ATVman said…..QUACK
I said……yes, I agree, your crack is showing and it you should yank up your pants abit!
ATVman replied with a confused look… (I think he was a bit frustrated)
So picture this…..Here we are, cruising down the trail, QUEERing and QUACKing, with a bunch of gay hunters chasing us on there pink camo Kawasaki bayous, with a large flock of ducks overhead!! I realized we had to do something, and quick, so I threw my laptop in a dairy farmers pasture, and told ATVman to shut up! Well it worked cuz we got away on both the ducks and the gays. That was close!
We then went strait to the hospital, to try and have the duck call removed from ATVmans throat. Well to make a long story short, the doctors kicked us out of the hospital, why you ask? ATVman called all the doctors “QUACKs”!!
We then proceeded to go back to ATVmans house, but on the way back, he hit a big bump on Honda, and …..GULPPPPLUNK.. He swallowed the duck call! Well we were both happy that was over, and had a good laugh about it.
After having supper with ATVman, he asked if I wanted to go hunting with him again the next morning. I was about to accept his generous offer when,……ATVman burped,……..very loudly………sounding like a mallard duck on steroids!!! It was scary! I quickly made a excuse that I was busy and couldn’t make the hunt!!! Maybe another time!
atvman is from atvoutdoos.net
ATVman arrived early the next morning on his atv to pick me up. I grabbed a old horse saddle, and strapped it on his rack (because of Hondas lack of suspension, I wanted a smooth ride) I grabbed my laptop, and my shotgun, my cowboy hat with a hard hat duct taped inside it, and hopped on the saddle, and we took of.
Well it was a very slow ride on the Honda, but we finally made it to the duck pond.
We got all set up in position for the anticipated attack on the ducks, with ATVman getting his duck callout and blowing it a few times. It sounded good, so I dug out my laptop in total excitement, opened it up, and quickly typed in the letters “QUACK” but something went wrong, WOOPS, I should of used “spellcheck”, cuz I actually typed in “QUEER” . The computer began repeating the word “QUEER” over and over. I tried, but I couldn’t shut the computer down. By this time ATVman was laughing at me so hard that it almost hurt my feelings, but just then something happened. Well laughing, ATVman suddenly made a weard sound……… Ha.Ha.Ha.GULPPPP…QUACK….QUACK…..QUACK….. Oh..Oh! He swallowed the duck call and it was stuck in his throat, and when ever he exhaled, it would QUACK repeatedly! The harder ATVman laughed, the louder the QUACKing became. Meanwhile, my laptop is still blaring out the word QUEER….QUEER….QUEER…
I then noticed a very large flock of ducks heading strait for us. Inspite of all the noise, the excitement was building………..until I noticed a bunch of guys running towards us………..who could those guys be……………Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..Oh Oh, they were gay hunters, very angry at us because they thought we were calling them “QUEERs”. I never realized that there were so many gay hunters at the pond. Some even wore pink camo, with matching pink camo on their 250 Kawasaki bayous. EK!!
I then said to ATVman……Lets get outta here!!
ATVman replied……QUACK……quack……QUACK!
I replied…….you don’t have to use such “FOUL” language!!!
ATVman replied…..quack…..QUACK!!
We both hurriedly jumped on the Honda, and I said to ATVman….
Comeon, hurry up!
ATVman said…..QUACK
I said……yes, I agree, your crack is showing and it you should yank up your pants abit!
ATVman replied with a confused look… (I think he was a bit frustrated)
So picture this…..Here we are, cruising down the trail, QUEERing and QUACKing, with a bunch of gay hunters chasing us on there pink camo Kawasaki bayous, with a large flock of ducks overhead!! I realized we had to do something, and quick, so I threw my laptop in a dairy farmers pasture, and told ATVman to shut up! Well it worked cuz we got away on both the ducks and the gays. That was close!
We then went strait to the hospital, to try and have the duck call removed from ATVmans throat. Well to make a long story short, the doctors kicked us out of the hospital, why you ask? ATVman called all the doctors “QUACKs”!!
We then proceeded to go back to ATVmans house, but on the way back, he hit a big bump on Honda, and …..GULPPPPLUNK.. He swallowed the duck call! Well we were both happy that was over, and had a good laugh about it.
After having supper with ATVman, he asked if I wanted to go hunting with him again the next morning. I was about to accept his generous offer when,……ATVman burped,……..very loudly………sounding like a mallard duck on steroids!!! It was scary! I quickly made a excuse that I was busy and couldn’t make the hunt!!! Maybe another time!
atvman is from atvoutdoos.net