LT80
12-24-2012, 08:25 AM
Rick Ritter posted this at another site. It's funny.
'Twas the night before Christmas ,
and all through the shop .
Not a machine was running,
the phone even stopped .
My tools were scattered ,
all about on the floor .
Between the cardboard boxes ,
I had a path to the door .
Down the hallway I walked ,
and with a flick of key .
I locked the place down ,
for tonight I was free .
As I walked to my home ,
a sound I did here .
It was up in the sky ,
and it was not a reindeer .
It was a worn out old two-stroke ,
jetted lean on the main .
The guy who was running it ,
must have been half insane .
The engine was pinging ,
all the RPM's he did squeeze .
" Easy there dude ,
That things going to seize !!"
Just as I thought this ,
the motor did blow .
Downward circles he spun ,
til he crashed in the snow .
I ran out to greet him ,
it was a heck of a crash .
He got up rather easy ,
although the front bumper was trash .
Politely I said ,
"can I help you I'm Rick "
He replied in in an instant ,
"Yes please , I'm St. Nick "
"The reindeer are home tonight ,
the folks at PETA said no .
They said it's far to cruel ,
to put a deer in the snow. "
"So I picked up a '95 scrambler,
for five hundred bucks .
The owner was late on his payments
on his new pick-up truck . "
"So quad I did hook,
to the front of my sleigh.
POS Polaris ,
it didn't make it half way !"
Upset at it he was,
he was still a jolly old elf .
His round little belly ,
kind of reminded me of myself.
To what was left of his bumper,
I hooked on a chain.
I towed him back to my shop ,
Then the radiator I drained .
Off with the head,
and off with the jug.
A thick coat of aluminum ,
was melted on to his plug .
Quickly did I bore,
and then hohn the jug .
I installed a 280 mainjet ,
and the 17 millimeter plug .
A brand new wiseco piston ,
and new gaskets too .
Back together went the motor ,
as he watched and drank my brew .
I pulled the rope starter ,
cause the button didn't work .
The motor fired up and idled ,
at a nice little perk .
We rolled it out side ,
hooked back onto his sleigh .
In the blink of an eye,
he was back on his way .
And I yelled to him ,
as he rode out of sight .
'BREAK IT IN EASY !!
IT'S BORED KIND OF TIGHT !!!! '
'Twas the night before Christmas ,
and all through the shop .
Not a machine was running,
the phone even stopped .
My tools were scattered ,
all about on the floor .
Between the cardboard boxes ,
I had a path to the door .
Down the hallway I walked ,
and with a flick of key .
I locked the place down ,
for tonight I was free .
As I walked to my home ,
a sound I did here .
It was up in the sky ,
and it was not a reindeer .
It was a worn out old two-stroke ,
jetted lean on the main .
The guy who was running it ,
must have been half insane .
The engine was pinging ,
all the RPM's he did squeeze .
" Easy there dude ,
That things going to seize !!"
Just as I thought this ,
the motor did blow .
Downward circles he spun ,
til he crashed in the snow .
I ran out to greet him ,
it was a heck of a crash .
He got up rather easy ,
although the front bumper was trash .
Politely I said ,
"can I help you I'm Rick "
He replied in in an instant ,
"Yes please , I'm St. Nick "
"The reindeer are home tonight ,
the folks at PETA said no .
They said it's far to cruel ,
to put a deer in the snow. "
"So I picked up a '95 scrambler,
for five hundred bucks .
The owner was late on his payments
on his new pick-up truck . "
"So quad I did hook,
to the front of my sleigh.
POS Polaris ,
it didn't make it half way !"
Upset at it he was,
he was still a jolly old elf .
His round little belly ,
kind of reminded me of myself.
To what was left of his bumper,
I hooked on a chain.
I towed him back to my shop ,
Then the radiator I drained .
Off with the head,
and off with the jug.
A thick coat of aluminum ,
was melted on to his plug .
Quickly did I bore,
and then hohn the jug .
I installed a 280 mainjet ,
and the 17 millimeter plug .
A brand new wiseco piston ,
and new gaskets too .
Back together went the motor ,
as he watched and drank my brew .
I pulled the rope starter ,
cause the button didn't work .
The motor fired up and idled ,
at a nice little perk .
We rolled it out side ,
hooked back onto his sleigh .
In the blink of an eye,
he was back on his way .
And I yelled to him ,
as he rode out of sight .
'BREAK IT IN EASY !!
IT'S BORED KIND OF TIGHT !!!! '