Craigslist is getting strange

[CJM]

:confused:

Trust me, just habe a gander at this ad, it will make you chuckle or something.

http://cnj.craigslist.org/zip/3282886442.html

[fastredrider44]

It's already been taken down.:o

[CJM]

Really, shows up for me just fine. I just c/p it.. EDIT: refreshed and yea they took it down.. jerks.


TL;DR: Free desk. Good shape. Come get it.

It was September, 1991. All these years ago and I still remember it like yesterday. I'd had coffee and eggs that morning for breakfast, an unexpected but not unwelcome luxury in those times. I was working for the United States Central Intelligence Agency. Strictly reporting and recruitment, no agent provocateur work. Too risky, and besides, I wasn't good at it.

The coup had not come as a surprise, but it was still a bit of a shock. It would have been prudent to leave, but I (and my superiors) felt this was a key opportunity for recruitment, and that I should stay as long as possible. There was also Anastasia. What to say about my Ana. She could be fierce as a lion yet tender as a kitten, oftentimes back to back. She was a handful, and I'd started my recruitment of her in late 1990. She worked for the KGB, although she claimed she was a humble seamstress in Petersburg. I told her I was an electronics dealer from Belgium, put here by my company to buy Russian electronics. (As if anyone would buy Russian electronics, but I digress.) Our friendship turned romantic after but a month, and at this point, I could not honestly tell you if I was playing her, or she was playing me.

I had just finished my eggs when there was a loud pounding on my safehouse door. I flipped the safety catch on my Browning Hi-Power and slowly approached the door. I could hear my pulse in my ears. Had I been found out? Who else could know of this place? I aimed the pistol at the door as I cautiously stepped toward it. I nearly fired as the pounding returned for a second time, but then I heard my Ana's voice...

"Jean! Jean, please let me in!"

I put the pistol on safe and shoved it into my waistband as I opened the door. A flood of blonde hair and cream skin fell into my arms as I did. "Jean, jean, my love. I had feared you dead," She cried into my neck. I grabbed her shoulders and looked at her. "Ana," I said. "How did you find me here? How do you know this place."

"Jean you fool," she mewed through her tears. "I've known who you are since before you arrived in Russia. But we do not have much time, they are coming for you! You must flee, now!" I objected, I had work to do. "No, Jean, you do not understand! There is so much chaos, but the KGB is rounding up all the spies in the country, they are on their way now! I have a car waiting for you, you must go!" She dragged me into the hallway, and kissed me, the second to last I'd ever get from her. "Come with me," I pled. "We will go to South America or the Phillipines, I can protect you!" The tears in her eyes told me all I needed to know, but her voice cracked in explanation. "No, my angel. It is not to be. They will never let me leave. I...I have something for you to remember me by." She pressed my hand onto the swedish pine-wood desk in the hallway. "Take this, and do not forget me, my darling." I protested once more, "Your desk? But, my love, you assembled this desk yourself! I remember, you would not accept my help, you insisted on doing it on your own! I cannot take it, I..." but she put a finger to my lips. "A desk will do me no good in siberia or a cold grave. Take it with you, and remember me." Together we hauled it down the stairs of my apartment building and loaded it into the black Lada 4X4 that had been idling outside. I begged her to come with me one last time, but she would not hear of it. She pressed her lips to mine, and I was engulfed in her perfume, the smell of the snow about to fall on the city, I could feel the staccato beat of her heart through my hand on her back.

Would that kiss have lasted forever. I heard the sirens in the distance, and she broke our kiss. I opened the door, and put one foot inside. Then I hesitated...No, I thought. I will not flee like a coward, not when this woman had given of herself, had given me the gift of this Desk, she would come with me, by force if she had to. I turned around to tell her exactly that and found myself staring down the barrel of a Makarov. "I cannot go, my love. Da svidaniya..." and she shot me in my left arm. I fell into that black Niva and the driver took off, ignoring the blood that poured out of my body. I managed to shut the door and put on my safety restraint. I looked back to try and catch one last glimpse of her, but I all I could see was the desk.

And now, all these years later, it's time to move on. You can have my Ana's desk, for free. It haunts me with her memory, and I cannot bear to have it in my house any longer. I know it fits in a Lada Niva, but only barely:


Width: 63

Height: 28

Depth: 23.5


Please, come take this desk from me. Free me from her memory.

Ana, wherever you are, I hope you are well.

-Jean


P.S. The chair is yours if you want it also, but the pillow pets stay. So sorry.

[wilkin250r]

That's Brilliant!

[dxcody]

I wonder if he is practicing for a novel?


At the beginning I thought It was going to turn into a romantic porn or something...

Guess I was wrong, :(

but still, this guy is creative.

[ben300]

Originally posted by dxcody
I wonder if he is practicing for a novel?


At the beginning I thought It was going to turn into a romantic porn or something...

Guess I was wrong, :(

but still, this guy is creative.


you seem upset that it wasnt romantic porn


do you like romantic porn?:devil:












who watches romantic porn?:huh

[chronicsmoke]

Originally posted by ben300

who watches romantic porn?:huh

Hahaha who doesn't? :blah:

[dxcody]

I guess it doesn't have to be "romantic"...

Hardcore midget does the trick.. :macho

[ben300]

Originally posted by dxcody
I guess it doesn't have to be "romantic"...

Hardcore midget does the trick.. :macho

ya, you and my roommate from college:eek2:



...lol

[dxcody]

We actually have a midget hooker here in Indiana...


She is expensive though.. I paid her like $300 to go up on me... ;)

[ben300]

Originally posted by dxcody
We actually have a midget hooker here in Indiana...


She is expensive though.. I paid her like $300 to go up on me... ;)

in erie, pa, theres a strip club on the out skirts of town called "Partners"...its a dirty seedy place that a lot of hte local riff raf hangs out at, drug dealers, bikers, drunken single mill workers...college kids:devil: lol..


well anywho, on the weekends, they bring in the more attractice dancers (they come down from buffalo or over from cleveland)....well anyways, on saturday's they usually have from time to time a black midget stripper.....well three of my roommates were all frat brothers in teh same frat, and they went there for one of hteir brothers bachelor party, and supposidly, allegedly, the bachelor in question, paid the $150 for more than just a dance....lol

[sexysilverado45]

Originally posted by dxcody
We actually have a midget hooker here in Indiana...


She is expensive though.. I paid her like $300 to go up on me... ;)

i see what you did there/\

[dxcody]

Originally posted by sexysilverado45
i see what you did there/\

Wondered if people would catch that
:D

[wilkin250r]

Originally posted by dxcody
Wondered if people would catch that
:D
Funny, but a little predictable. Maybe only because I use the same joke about tall, sexy women. You gotta go UP on them tall ones...

[OldGuyonaQuad]

Yea very creative but I think you guys are right he is an aspiring novelist.

Since the thread was derailed into a pron discussion I will simply add this

I like soft porn but it's all been ruined by ink. Nothing less appealing to me then an ink sleeve on a woman or even better yet a battleship on the cleavage.

Tramp stamps, little heart on the foot, hand or mid drift is fine but leave the rest alone.

[dxcody]

Originally posted by OldGuyonaQuad
Yea very creative but I think you guys are right he is an aspiring novelist.

Since the thread was derailed into a pron discussion I will simply add this

I like soft porn but it's all been ruined by ink. Nothing less appealing to me then an ink sleeve on a woman or even better yet a battleship on the cleavage.

Tramp stamps, little heart on the foot, hand or mid drift is fine but leave the rest alone.

I agree! Tat's just don't look good on a hot woman...

[ben300]

Originally posted by OldGuyonaQuad
Yea very creative but I think you guys are right he is an aspiring novelist.

Since the thread was derailed into a pron discussion I will simply add this

I like soft porn but it's all been ruined by ink. Nothing less appealing to me then an ink sleeve on a woman or even better yet a battleship on the cleavage.

Tramp stamps, little heart on the foot, hand or mid drift is fine but leave the rest alone.


While I don't mostly disagree with you, some chicks with half sleeves are sexy as hell.... Some aren't

Your about the same age, maybe a little younger than my parents. They like most your age still find tattoos very unappealing

I'd take this home to them all day long

[wilkin250r]

Back on track, some of those craigslist ads are really funny.

Have you ever checked the best-of-craigslist link? If you haven't, I sincerely suggest you give it a try. Some of my favorites are:

Yoga mat for sale (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/2597736393.html) is a similar style, a long-written story in which the story is obviously much more important and entertaining than the actual item for sale.

1995 Pontiac Grand Am (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/2979885438.html) is just solid gold. "Every previous owner has had a beard"

Coffee Table of the Gods (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/min/2505248081.html) is funny mostly because of the coffee table itself. I would LOVE to have that thing in my garage!!

[CJM]

I seen the grand am one before,t hat ones great.

The yoga one:
12:44p I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish. lol..

I have 7.83 to buy the table but no chef boyardee or a photo of betty white..wonder if he will take spaghettios and a photo of phyillis diller...