Who's wife/girlfriend FARTs in front of you?

[freakystone]

I have been married since 1993 and I swear she doesnt fart. WTF.


I fart.:confused2

i see someone saw blind date this evening:rolleyes:

[freakystone]

Originally posted by freeride132
i see someone saw blind date this evening:rolleyes:


What? No, but fill us in... I was serious... And I dont what blind date.

[sly400ex]

If I have to blow *****, I just let er rip, I don't care who's around!!!

[MILF_HUNTER]

flatulence (sp) just one of the many aspects of women that confuses me. Do they fart. what the heck.
i once read a caption that said. women don't burp, fart, or scatch so there for they must b*tch

[NTPRacing#19]

my dad thought women didnt fart at all until he met my mother. lmao. cause seriously he never heard or smelt his mother or sister fart

[zephead400ex]

My GF F*CKING farts hardcore in front of me! We have farting burping contest...she is cool as hell! Loves to ride...quads:devil

on blind date on tnn this guy and girl were talking about farting with each other the whole time haha they were saying how if a chick cant fart in front of u somin is up

Originally posted by NTPRacing#19
my dad thought women didnt fart at all until he met my mother. lmao. cause seriously he never heard or smelt his mother or sister fart

Lmao, dude that didnt make sense but oh well.. zephead lol... thats pretty sick but must be fun.. im think it was my mom who ripped a couple the last couple years but could of been my dad? Im pretty sure they fart.. i have heard girls fart.. everyone does.. its just gases that build up and need to let lose lol

[freakystone]

Originally posted by Lathers
everyone does.. its just gases that build up and need to let lose lol


No *****.

You are a pretty fart smeller.

lol all girls fart

[NTPRacing#19]

yea and when they do its all swampas$ stanky

lol

[Live2Ride300]

lmao

ive never heard my gf fart before

[JUSTINcredible]

my mom and sister fart alot
and it smells:huh :confused2

[zephead400ex]

My GF takes a **** and wants me to come and smell it...she's proud and so am I!

Either there lobby and a big poof of air also known as "stink bomb" from you know... dont wanna get banned again haha.. and then there's the "squeaky girls" and them things just slip out nice in slow and are very slow haha...

[Live2Ride300]

Originally posted by zephead400ex
My GF takes a **** and wants me to come and smell it...she's proud and so am I!

thats fkd up, lmfao

[Live2Ride300]

LMFAO!!!!!!!!

[Quadfather]

None of my girlfriends, past or present, has ever done it in front of me, and I have extended them the same courtesy.

I do not want to think of my ole lady burping, farting, puking, or taking a dump. It's just not ladylike. She keeps it to herself, and that's the way I like it.

If she ever called me into the bathroom to view her freshly taken dump, I do believe I would have to punch her in the stomach, and while she was doubled over, I would cram her head into the crapper, and flush it with my left foot, then drag her out of the house, and call her a cab.

[NTPRacing#19]

ya know they say when you fart standing up and kick your leg up and across you will squeak it out.

or fart in your hand and cup it then throw it in someones face... cup fart

or fart in bed and cover your girl up with the sheets and trap her under them. DUTCH OVEN!

[Woodsrider]

I been married 12 years and she farts all the time but I dont think she ever poops, I never seen her come out of the toilet after a crap. She must do it while I am asleep, or at work:confused2

[Fender Bender]

LMFAO:devil

lmao.. who would save that on there computer???????

[NTPRacing#19]

that guy is friggen HUGE! look at the people behind him compared to him! :eek2:

[Woodsrider]

Originally posted by Quadfather
None of my girlfriends, past or present, has ever done it in front of me, and I have extended them the same courtesy.

I do not want to think of my ole lady burping, farting, puking, or taking a dump. It's just not ladylike. She keeps it to herself, and that's the way I like it.

If she ever called me into the bathroom to view her freshly taken dump, I do believe I would have to punch her in the stomach, and while she was doubled over, I would cram her head into the crapper, and flush it with my left foot, then drag her out of the house, and call her a cab.

LMFAO do you drink your beer with your pinky extended? J/P:p

[phatswinn]

the first time i met my second last girlfriend she tried to let one out slow but it was a slow loud one


i have to admit ive never seen my mom come outta the bathroom allitle late, i think they just push it out fast or something


POWER *****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fender Bender]

Originally posted by Lathers
lmao.. who would save that on there computer???????

I think i got that from rico or someone:D

[Fender Bender]

Originally posted by phatswinn
the first time i met my second last girlfriend she tried to let one out slow but it was a slow loud one


i have to admit ive never seen my mom come outta the bathroom allitle late, i think they just push it out fast or something


POWER *****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KUR PLUNK:eek2:

[400ex99]

my wife sleeps only wearing a t shirt, when she lays on her side fixing to go to sleep, she will cut a long fart, i reach over and grab her top cheek and raise it up and down playing a song..... see what ya youngsters are missing!:blah

[freakystone]

Originally posted by 400ex99
my wife sleeps only wearing a t shirt, when she lays on her side fixing to go to sleep, she will cut a long fart, i reach over and grab her top cheek and raise it up and down playing a song..... see what ya youngsters are missing!:blah



:confused2

[zephead400ex]

Hell my GF's mom farts in front of too! I dont see what the big deal is...its natural.

Hey quadfather...do you sneeze or cough in front of your "women"

[toby400ex]

wouldnt the sound be more like kur poop:confused:

girls dont poop, everyone knows that

[remlapr]

Another quality late-night exriders thread....lmfao

[Fender Bender]

We should have a punch line for it, "Tonite its sh1t, tomorrow its spit" lol:D

[CHAUNCY]

Originally posted by Fender Bender
We should have a punch line for it, "Tonite its sh1t, tomorrow its spit" lol:D

LOL:p

[newjacksm]

me and my dog have farting contests

[Juggalo]

i know a couple broads who like to let em rip. but most of the dames i hang out with seem like they never poop or fart and it like baffles me. what the heck is goin on with them. i mean i don't really wanna be around when a hot broad is takin an oily **** but man its just weird cuz it seems like they never have to!! s'up wit dat!?

[BrianWrightR6]

Originally posted by 400ex99
my wife sleeps only wearing a t shirt, when she lays on her side fixing to go to sleep, she will cut a long fart, i reach over and grab her top cheek and raise it up and down playing a song..... see what ya youngsters are missing!:blah



MY GOD! Is there nothing sacred anymore?

[swap]

that has to be one of the funniest thing i have read.
Me and the gf are dying laughing.

She says girls poop and fart all the time, like everyday

[JOEX]

Originally posted by zephead400ex
Hell my GF's mom farts in front of too! ....."
Does she go to gynocologist or a proctologist:eek2: :eek2: :eek2:

[JOEX]

Women don't fart, they "fluff"

Joe

[oldnumberseven]

Originally posted by freakystone
I have been married since 1993 and I swear she doesnt fart. WTF.


I fart.:confused2

I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT THIS SUBJECT!!!!!!!!!

I believe that women don't far because they cannot shut-up long enought to build up pressure! HAHAHAHAHAHA

[MSL]

my wife sleeps only wearing a t shirt, when she lays on her side fixing to go to sleep, she will cut a long fart, i reach over and grab her top cheek and raise it up and down playing a song..... see what ya youngsters are missing!
:huh
lol
hahahahahahhah
:huh
hahahahahahaha
:confused2

[luvmyex]

Originally posted by oldnumberseven
I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT THIS SUBJECT!!!!!!!!!

I believe that women don't far because they cannot shut-up long enought to build up pressure! HAHAHAHAHAHA
You took my joke:D

Originally posted by 400ex99
i reach over and grab her top cheek and raise it up and down playing a song..... blah

roflmfao...Now that's a close relationship...:eek:

You guys ever thought about releasing an album???:huh

[RUNMYTA]

This brings back a fond memory: :eek2:
When I first met my now EX GF (split up last week) for about the first month we were dating I would go visit her and stay at her house until 1 or 2 am. Well I am very gaseous person. So I would hold it until I left. I thought I would explode all night:confused2 . So when I would get into my car I would fart for several minutes!! Until one night we went to Hooters with another couple and the hotwings and budlight built major pressure. So all the way home (4 of us in the front seat of a Dodge Larime 4X4) I would let them ease out very slowly and roll my window down and act like I was spitting!! Finally my buddy said dammit quit ****ting MIKE. I was so embaressed! But that is when my GF was cool! She laughed it off and within a couple weeks she would let a few slide out nothing real loud. Then we moved in together and ****ting, farting, and burping was an everyday occurence didn't bother either of us. I guess if you love someone and are comfortable with them, simple things like farting/****ting shouldn't matter. Only time she got a little pissed is when I would yell like the world was ending to come here and she would run into the bathroom and ask what was wrong and I would tell her to "LOOK HOW LONG THAT MF IS" To bad she turned into a satanic
b!tch:devil She used to be fun.
MIKE

[SGA]

Originally posted by 400ex99
my wife sleeps only wearing a t shirt, when she lays on her side fixing to go to sleep, she will cut a long fart, i reach over and grab her top cheek and raise it up and down playing a song..... see what ya youngsters are missing!:blah
LMAO! This thread is sick! :D
Did ya ever notice riding with your freinds in a car, if you let one, its funny as he!!, but if they let one.....well, its not so funny:(

My story of the wife: Had to go into the attic to run some wires. As I climbed over the bathroom vent fan, I got faint from the fumes. NO ONE can smell that bad! Later I climbed down, and asked about it. She claimed she was just brushing her teeth, and our little dog was in there with her... She blamed it on the dog, it must have been the dog breaking wind!!:rolleyes:

[Pappy]

ive been with the same chic since 1987....i aint never heard nuttin from her....even when she gave birth:p i reckon she is talented:devil

[UglyMotha™]

here's how it works chicks are pretty good at controling this but when they go all day without farting they ***** and complain and moan how there sick they don't feel good and there bloated and then after you get home jesus look out

my chick never farted or pooped in front of me for like the first year of the relationship but now, dear god it's somtimes is just downright sick she rips some that you would swear she just **** herself but then again we can go somwhere for the entire weekend and you won't hear a squeak from here and as far as power pooping there some of the best in the business my chick will be like i gotta poop and she will be back standing next to me before i would've even got my pants down:huh now that's quick:huh

[SGA]

Originally posted by RUNMYTA
Only time she got a little pissed is when I would yell like the world was ending to come here and she would run into the bathroom and ask what was wrong and I would tell her to "LOOK HOW LONG THAT MF IS" To bad she turned into a satanic
b!tch:devil She used to be fun.
MIKE
Your EX girlfriend?:rolleyes:

[QuadJunkies]

OMG I cant believe this thread...LMAO:p WEll news flash guys... Women do fart and poop,we just try NOT to be so "unladylike"(well most of us ladies :rolleyes: ) in all my years of marriage, neither one of us have just cracked one wide open on purpose,but I swear he is infamous for walking in the closet after ITRY to be descreet:o ...Now my kids on the other hand do there best to "out fart" each other

[NTPRacing#19]

LMAO this is the funniest thread i have ever read.

[ChadEXer]

Originally posted by freeride132
i see someone saw blind date this evening:rolleyes:
Thats the same thing I though when i read it! I seen that on Blind Date last night too. he said if a woman can fart in front of him then he could marry her,,,he said farting is one of the most intimate things you can do with each other!! OMG, I think he was trying to get her to accept the fact that he farts all the time early on the date!!!

[kentuckycat]

My wife farts all the time, but they're always SBD's, and of course she doesn't own up to them until I'm turning green! :macho

[Live2Ride300]

Originally posted by ChadEXer
Thats the same thing I though when i read it! I seen that on Blind Date last night too. he said if a woman can fart in front of him then he could marry her,,,he said farting is one of the most intimate things you can do with each other!! OMG, I think he was trying to get her to accept the fact that he farts all the time early on the date!!!

lmao I saw that too. That was pretty funny

[f1502nv]

ive never heard mine!!!!! thats a good thing!!!

[xXx*PREDATOR*xXx]

does a woman fart....get down there right inbetween her legs and have her queef.....then come ask the same question (long story...dont ask):o

[sly400ex]

Originally posted by xXx*PREDATOR*xXx
does a woman fart....get down there right inbetween her legs and have her queef.....then come ask the same question (long story...dont ask):o

Uhhhh.....maybe we are better off not knowinG!!!!!:D

[QuadJunkies]

Originally posted by sly400ex
Uhhhh.....maybe we are better off not knowinG!!!!!:D YUP... Women dont like to talk about dual exhuast.:eek2: ...

[UglyMotha™]

Originally posted by QuadJunkies
YUP... Women dont like to talk about dual exhuast.:eek2: ...


DEAR GOD:eek:

[lil400exman]

pea shooters............but ur right girls don fart.................i dont get it........................i get sugeries cause i crap so big and she doesnt let a squeak out..........and when she craps its a 30 second thing its lie a nascar pitstop.........:confused: with me its a 45minute complete overhaul..............:scary: :eek2: <--------my face when i go

[zephead400ex]

Originally posted by QuadJunkies
YUP... Women dont like to talk about dual exhuast.:eek2: ...
ROTFLMFAO!!
QJ, that is the funnist thing I have heard in a long time!
"dual exhaust" has just became new lingo in my vocab...:mad:

Happy (streak) trails!

[dabombdale]

queefing is so sick, from what my old girl friend did she could do it on command, somehow she would suck in air and queef it out, and you guys thought there wasn't dual exhaust thumpers out there :o

[freakystone]

No offense but all of you guys are sick *******s!!!

I started this thread because my wife was looking over my shoulder (which I hate), just to p!ss her off.

I thought for sure it would die off in no time.

Sick-o's

:D

[freakystone]

Now go check out www.createafart.com

[TheChknhwk]

The smell of a new car....

A woman walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around then spotsthe perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little mishap and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up behind her. She looks back, and right there standing next to her is a salesman.

"Good day Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely
vehicle?"

He answers, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just
touching it, you're going to **** when you hear the price.

[UglyMotha™]

lmao:D

[QuadTrix6]

:huh

[300EXrider02]

this was by far the nasties and funniest thread i have read here on exriders.com, and i will keep on reading:D

[-=Skot=-]

ROFLMFAO:D

[Ryan]

LMFAO!!!! This has got to be the funniest threads i've seen in a long time. But girls do fart, they are just good at holding them in. If my G/F ever trys doing that infront of me im throwing her out :D . I think it is very rude and disgusting to be pulling that stuff in front of your mates. Now hanging with your buddies is a different story :p .

my GF takes a crap on my chest after sex.....:eek2:

[300EXrider02]

Originally posted by lrdrider1
my GF takes a crap on my chest after sex.....:eek2:

hope that was a joke:huh

Originally posted by 300EXrider02
hope that was a joke:huh

no i was being serious..it arrouses me very much....:rolleyes:

[300EXrider02]

:eek2: :huh :eek: whatever suits your thing:o but damn man:(

[ThorChick]

This thread is hilarious! All women fart, whether we let on to it or not. Some of us are a little more shy than others, and some of us know the appropriate times to let one loose. I really have to be completely comfortable with a person to be able to "let loose" like that around them. Most of my guy friends I don't have a problem being like that around them cause it doesn't matter, I'm not trying to impress them, and maybe its a better idea if I do gross them out, then they aren't ever going to think about me in " that way."
My boyfriend, on the other hand, is a different story. I can burp around him for days, and most of the time mine are way more impressive than his. But when it comes to farting, I'm pretty shy about it. We've been together for over a year now so lately its been a lot easier to relax around him and let loose with one or two. :D I've been lucky though, they've been quiet and he still doesn't know a thing. :devil

[300EXrider02]

thats what you think:rolleyes:

[markeg192]

Well Fellas I've been married for 17 years and it's only the last two or three that the wife would fart in front of me. I sure miss the Ol' Days!

[trueblue450]

be careful what you guys wish for.. you don't want a woman to fart in front of you. it could get dangerous.

[freakystone]

True story. My brother Kurt is a real jerk to his wife. He and her went house shopping one day with a realtor and when the realtor was locking the door to one of the houses, Kurt and his wife were getting in the realtors car and Kurt decided to bake a nice air biscuit on his wifes leg. But instead of some anal gas spewing out, he SHAT all in his pants. He doesnt wear underwear either.

The realtor had to let him in the house to clean himself up a bit.

That is carma at its finest.

[CHAUNCY]

Originally posted by freakystone
True story. My brother Kurt is a real jerk to his wife. He and her went house shopping one day with a realtor and when the realtor was locking the door to one of the houses, Kurt and his wife were getting in the realtors car and Kurt decided to bake a nice air biscuit on his wifes leg. But instead of some anal gas spewing out, he SHAT all in his pants. He doesnt wear underwear either.

The realtor had to let him in the house to clean himself up a bit.

That is carma at its finest.

LOL
Sounds like he is kinda a nut

[ChadEXer]

Originally posted by freakystone
True story. My brother Kurt is a real jerk to his wife. He and her went house shopping one day with a realtor and when the realtor was locking the door to one of the houses, Kurt and his wife were getting in the realtors car and Kurt decided to bake a nice air biscuit on his wifes leg. But instead of some anal gas spewing out, he SHAT all in his pants. He doesnt wear underwear either.

The realtor had to let him in the house to clean himself up a bit.

That is carma at its finest.
Oh man, thats some funny *****,,,but you must be joking though!!!

[freakystone]

Originally posted by ChadEXer
Oh man, thats some funny *****,,,but you must be joking though!!!


Nope... I think it runs (no pun intended) in the family. My dad is the same way. I borrowed his truck on day and found three pair of clean underwear in the back seat. When I returned the truck I asked him what they were for and he said that occasionally when he farts, juice runs out. WTF.

I said it must be a b!tch getting old. But then I heard my younger brother has the same problem (he is 25). I told them both to eat more cheese.

I am 32 and can honestly say that I havent crapped my pant in about 29 years... That I know of.

lmfao, by the way this thread is pretty disgusting but oh well.. we all have a ... side to us...

[lil400exman]

or bottom to us lathers........................

Originally posted by lil400exman
or bottom to us lathers........................

lol, Im kind of slow what does that mean haha?

[Live2Ride300]

wow, cool thread guys, who else likes to shiat their pants?:huh

lmfao jk

[CHAUNCY]

Originally posted by Live2Ride300
wow, cool thread guys, who else likes to shiat their pants?:huh

lmfao jk

If shaiting your pants is cool consider me Miles Davis. J/k

MAn happy gilmore is a great movie

[ChadEXer]

Originally posted by freakystone
Nope... I think it runs (no pun intended) in the family. My dad is the same way. I borrowed his truck on day and found three pair of clean underwear in the back seat. When I returned the truck I asked him what they were for and he said that occasionally when he farts, juice runs out. WTF.

I said it must be a b!tch getting old. But then I heard my younger brother has the same problem (he is 25). I told them both to eat more cheese.

I am 32 and can honestly say that I havent crapped my pant in about 29 years... That I know of.
That is cracking me up so bad i almost shiat my pants!!!!!

[Live2Ride300]

lol, after I read what freakystone wrote I had to change my pants,






not really tho

[freakystone]

That is nothing. I have a customer that flew in town for product training and he met up with some gal that also attended our seminar. We took them all out for dinner and drinks and it was obvious the two hit if off.

After numerous top shelf gold margaritas, they were both blitzed.

The next day he showed up at our training facility, eyes all blood shot and smoking a cigar. I asked him why he was smoking since I knew him a long time and didnt know him to smoke. He said he was trying to get ride of the taste.

She walked in a little late and was obviously very uncomfortable. He didnt know why but she wouldnt talk to anyone the rest of the day. But apparently when she woke up in his hotel room there was shat all over the mattress. James said it wasnt there when he left and swears it was her. But since it was there when she woke up, she swore it was him.

You people need help for continuing to read these nasty posts.

But all my stories are true.

:cool:

[freakystone]

Originally posted by Rico
:cool:



What the he||?

[QuadJunkies]

HOLY COW!:eek: :eek2: some sick stuff.. Im speechless:huh

damn rico,i have that pic on my computer too...i just thought about posting it but i guess you beat me to it:(

[freakystone]

Did you see the Jack ***** where they took doggie poo into the chinese resturants and put it in the soup and said they didnt order meat.

Gosh me and my kids were rolling.

My wife was :huh .

[Live2Ride300]

Anybody see the movie Jack***** where the guy runs in the hardware store, pulls down his pants, takes a seat on one of the display toilets, whips out a newspaper, and takes a crap then leaves? llololo, that was funny

[dabombdale]

did you see the jack***** where he took a crap while running at full speed, it was some sick stuff, all he was wearing was a jock strap lol, it went every where.

The x-lax bottle said to eat like 2, but he ate something like 8 or 18, somewhere inbetween there lol.

[Live2Ride300]

I remember that one. lmao, pretty sick stuff man

[2fastandfurious]

:eek2: :huh