Jokes?

[eastcoastpro20]

Anyone got any jokes about dirtbike riders, alot of my friends ride bikes and we always give each other a hard time because of what we ride. Just wonderin if ya ever heard of any good ones. (not tryin to start a bike vs quads war here, i couldnt careless if someone rides a bike or not, this is jus for fun)

I heard the worst part about riding dirtbikes is havin to tell your parents your gay. haha

[kfx400rider03]

i heard that same joke but worded a little diffrent.
"the hardest part of riding a dirt bike is telling your parents your gay"

only diffrent by one word
thats pretty much all i heard

[Canadian144]

Hah I just found a ton:

If Dirt Bikes Were Built By Microsoft (or ridden by Bill Gates)

1. For no reason whatsoever your bike would crash twice a day.

2. Every time you wanted to ride a different track or a new trail, you’d have to buy a new bike.

3. Occasionally your bike would die for no reason, and you would accept this, restart and ride on.

4. Occasionally, something as simple as a left turn, would cause your bike to shut down and refuse to start, in which case you have to reinstall the entire engine.

5. Macintosh would make a dirt bike that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to ride, but it would only run on five percent of the tracks and trails.

6. You wouldn’t be able to race more than one bike on the same track unless you bought "BikeXP" or "BikeNT".

7. The bike would say "Are you sure?" before applying the brakes.

8. For no reason whatsoever, your bike would sometimes refuse to run until you grabbed the plug wire, stuck your finger in the exhaust, and used the kick start, all at the same time.

9. You would be required to wear riding gear manufactured by the same company who built your dirt bike. Deleting this option would cause the bike's performance to drop by 50% or more.

10. Every time a manufacturer introduced a new model, buyers would have to learn to ride all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old bike.

11. You'd press the "Start" button to shut off the engine.
.
.


The Mechanic and the Heart Surgeon

A dirt bike mechanic was taking a cylinder off a bike, when he was introduced to a world-famous heart surgeon. The mechanic said, "Hey Doc can I ask you a question?"

The famous surgeon said “Sure!” The mechanic, wiping his hands on a rag, asked, "So Doc… I open this engine up, take valves out, fix 'em, put in new parts, and when I’m done it’ll work just like a new one. So how come you get so much more money than me, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon looked the mechanic in the eye, smiled, and said, "Try doing it with the engine running!

Funny Dirt Bike Quotes

The race goes to the swift. But sometimes none of them show up, and the rest of us have a shot at it.

Regular maintenance is the key to reliability; irregular maintenance is the key to great exercise.

The 3-percent rule: If you want to go faster, ride with people who are 3-percent faster than you.
The other 3-percent rule: If you want to have fun, ride with people who are 3-percent slower than you.

You've got to finish to win. Of course, you've got to be fast to win too, otherwise everybody would be doing it.

There is no physical training regimen so strict that it can't be undermined by a rigorous program of deferred motorcycle maintenance.

There are old racers and there are bold racers, but there are no old, bold racers who don't walk funny.

Patience is a virtue of many racers. Unfortunately, it's also a virtue of a lot of losers.

The wise racer only ticks off the people he can beat.

The secret of successful race tuning is knowing when to start riding and stop tuning.

You can't 2-½ a triple. At least not a second time.

A man never stands so tall as when he stoops to let the air out of a competitor's tire.

Never underestimate the power of good old-fashioned intimidation.

The more complete your on-board tool-kit, the more likely it is that all your trail riding buddies will expect you to fix everything that breaks on their bikes.

A good rider can overcome marginal equipment. However, even the best equipment can't overcome a marginal rider.

Ruts are like side-panel screws: just when you think you're in the right groove, you get cross-threaded.

Blood in your stool is nature's way of suggesting that you rethink your spring rates.

There are places on Earth that quads simply won't fit. Unfortunately, quad riders aren't aware of this.

Gravity intensifies with the installation of new levers.

You only have one chance to make a first-turn impression.

Careful maintenance and preparation is critical to making your dirt bike is reliable enough to tow your buddy's bike back to the truck.

Winning riders never have "left over" parts.

Good News, Bad News

There's the sad story of the poor dirt bike rider who was in a terrible racing accident. When he came out from under the anesthetic, the doctor was leaning over him anxiously. "Son," he said, "I've got some good news and some bad news. "The bad news is that you were in a very serious accident, and I'm afraid we had to amputate both your feet just above the ankle." "Oh no," gasped the patient. "What's the good news?" The doctor smiled and said "The fellow in the next bed over will give you a good price for your boots."



Brains

A man walks into a seedy back alley butcher shop to buy some human brain and asks "How much?" He’s told $10 a kilo for mini-bike riders… $50 a kilo fro trail riders… and $500 a kilo for motocross racers.” "Why so much for the motocrossers?" he asks. And the butcher replies "Do you know how many of them we need to get a kilo?"



Swap

Did you hear about the guy who got a motorcycle for his wife? Pretty good swap don't you think?


Fairy Tale

A guy at the motocross track tells you that after winning his latest race on his Suzuki dirt bike, Santa Claus came up to congratulate him, and the Easter Bunny presented him with $1000 in prize money. How do you know he's lying?
Answer: No one wins a race on a Suzuki dirt bike (or fill in your least favourite dirt bike).

First Aid?

A guy was tearing down the trail on his dirt bike but the zipper broke on his jacket, so it was letting an annoying draft in. Sitting on his dirt bike, wondering what to do, he finally decided to put the jacket on backwards, so the broken zipper was at the back. He continued to ride his dirt bike at incredible speeds, but lost control. A nearby farmer heard the crash in the bush, assessed the situation, then called 911 on his cell phone! “I found a dirt bike rider on the trail, next to the bike he crashed!” he told the operator. The emergency operator asked the farmer “Is he showing any signs of life?" "Well," the farmer explained, "he WAS... until I turned his head around the right way!"

MISCELLANEOUS


Q. Why did the chicken cross the motocross track?
A. To get to the roost!


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Whoopdee
Whoopdee Who?
No, Whoopdeedoo!


Why did the dirt bike cross the road?
Answer: Because they've stopped us from riding everywhere else!!!

GM

[Tommy Warren]

Dirtbikes are like tampons.....every puzzy has one;)