a thread for funny Craigslist ads...

[tri5ron]

saw this on the freebies today.
I don't need it 'cuz mine still works fine, so I figured someone here might need it,... LOL!

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/zip/1151129240.html

[KevinAb]

That's just nasty. I would never put myself in the position where I would need that. And really, would you want to use someone elses?

:eek2: :eek2: :eek2: :eek2: :eek2: :eek2:

[sunco]

I don't drink filtered things. Ya don't get all the vitamins :eek:

[631kfx400]

hahaha

[QuadJunkies]

haha!!

thats so nasty!! :blah:

Someone email him and ask questions about it like your seriously interested in it to screw with him.:devil:

[QuadJunkies]

Ill do it ..:devil:

Originally posted by QuadJunkies
Ill do it ..:devil:

haha! Post the emails in this thread:p

[QuadJunkies]

I tried, but I got error message :confused:

Originally posted by QuadJunkies
I tried, but I got error message :confused:

That sucks..:(

I'll give it a shot.

I hope it went through. Here's what I sent.



Hi.
I was just curious as to how old it is and what condition? Mines gettin pretty old and worn so I need a replacement. Are there any discolorations? How often was it used?

Thanks!
Eric

[QuadJunkies]

LOL!!

Any other listings ??

I cant believe some of thre stuf thats on Craigslist. :huh

[tri5ron]

heres another one thats pretty good...

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n148/tri5ron/classifiedadbike.jpg

[Cody_300ex]

This ones GREAT!


This was recently posted on Georgia Craigslist:

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message.

I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening - and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol - eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.
But I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's - along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out.
I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky

If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.

Peace! - Alex

[k4f5x0r]

lmfao ^ :eek2:

[Premis]

This is the best I have seen.


What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810







THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are, that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

[ZeroLogic]

LMFAOOOO

[Which 450?]

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/mcy/1202741551.html

[Which 450?]

college? I think you better redo grade school...

http://annapolis.craigslist.org/tag/1191978744.html

[KevinAb]

I want this. A mechaincal bull, sweet :D -

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/grd/1211836925.html

[Heatpump#4]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by KevinAb
[B]I want this. A mechaincal bull, sweet :D -

haha me too mount a set of handle bars to it an maybe some footpegs an let the training for motocross begin haha i think i got an idea going on that one :devil:

[tri5ron]

anyone we know ??????

orange county craigslist > free stuff

Free box of crap (anaheim)

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Reply to: sale-k3t7b-1220188407@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-13, 3:00PM PDT



Hey there :)

I have the biggest douche of an ex-boyfriend and don't have space in my trash cans. SO, I am giving away a bunch of worthless crap he gave me to anyone who wants it. Includes a lot of collectible figurines, star wars memorabilia, paintings, books, and more. First come first serve. Please get this crap off my hands.


Location: anaheim
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1220188407

[907Rider]

http://anchorage.craigslist.org/rvs/1244694736.html

haha!

[F-16Guy]

When we were living in Phoenix, my wife found an ad for human feces. I'm pretty sure it was legit. The poster said it could be used for fertilizer, composting, or (oh God, just puked in my mouth a little) great for dreadlocks. Seriously -- does anyone really put a stranger's dookie in their hair to hook up their dreads?? Cross Jamaica off my vacation list if they do.

[Brauap]

Can anyone inform me on the first item posted? And DMC.. what was the response? From everyones reactions to the ad.. I think I have an idea on what it is....

[416exfreak]

Originally posted by Brauap
Can anyone inform me on the first item posted? And DMC.. what was the response? From everyones reactions to the ad.. I think I have an idea on what it is....

It was a urine purifier.

So you could drink your own piss instead of water.

[Brauap]

Originally posted by 416exfreak
It was a urine purifier.

So you could drink your own piss instead of water.

IS IT WAS UNUSED.. I'd try a sip.. :p really

[416exfreak]

Originally posted by Brauap
IS IT WAS UNUSED.. I'd try a sip.. :p really

:huh:

I vote that we force you to drink the kool-aid. :p

[tri5ron]

I've heard of Bums trying to sell their kidneys, or raising money by selling some bodily "Fluids",
http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/for/1272390210.html

But the economy is getting REALLY bad when you start seeing these.....
http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/for/1272421471.html

The original "Owner" will be fine though,....
The new Health Care Plan will get him a new one for free.

[tri5ron]

MANLY MEN ONLY! 2002 4x4 Chevy Silverado, Ext. Cab - $6000 (Queen Creek)

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Date: 2009-07-24, 4:42PM MST
Reply to: sale-hdak6-1287429497@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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OK, let me start off by saying this Silverado is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn’t meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that’s what your Prius is for. If that’s the kind of car you’re looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This 2002 Chevy Silverado 4x4 2500 was engineered here in the great USofA exclusively for hunters, gatherers, 4x4 enthusiasts, bulky body builders, rugged blue-collar men named Bubba, and all other manly men (or women) who cheat death on a daily basis. This Silverado doesn’t included sissy-boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don’t get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn’t let anything warm his butt), or OnStar (real men don’t even know what the hell On Star is). It does however, have super cold A/C, AM/FM/CD, power everything, power steering, remote power door locks, power windows, power mirrors, power seats, 4-wheel disc anti-lock brakes, trip odometer, tachometer, tilt-adjustable steering wheel (for you manly men above 6ft tall), cruise control, driver & passenger airbags (just incase), alloy wheels, split front bench seat (so your lady can sit extra close), chrome bumper, step bumper, durable rubber floor mats (for no matter how dirty you get). There are no dents or scratches. The tires are in great condition.

This brute is fully loaded, very clean inside and out and comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a V8 6.0L engine to outrun the cops. It’s got special blood/gore resistant gray cloth upholstery. The large center console has plenty of room for all the stuff that you need at your finger tips. Stuff like a first-aid kit. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you’re operating on yourself. This Silverado also has an automatic transmission so if you’re being chased by Libyan terrorists, you’ll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time.

The extended cab offers room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There’s a tow hitch and trailer brake to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban self cooling machine gun, or for when you haul your toys to the mountains or to the dunes. The long bed offers maximum cargo space for ammo, toys, tools and all other manly must haves.

Just like Batman’s Bat-Mobile, Nicolas Cage’s 1967 GT 500 Eleanor, monster truck BigFoot, they all occasionally need to undergo maintenance work. This Silverado is in need of regular maintenance and is currently in the loving hands of a Hollywood stunt-car mechanic. If you are a manly gear-head and can fix anything, you can purchase this gorgeous truck for only $6,000. Or if you prefer to receive this truck ready to hit the mountains trails, you can purchase this Silverado having just left the gentle hands of the Hollywood stunt-car mechanic for only $7,200. I’ll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I don’t mean telling me, “I’ll give me $3,000 for it”. That’s liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah! Let’s just say you won’t be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There’s 125,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machoism.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it’s a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or base jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I’ll get back to you. And when I do, we’ll talk about a reasonable price.
To sweeten the deal a little, I’m throwing in a pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can’t fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants!

Scott 480-247-1294



Location: Queen Creek
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1287429497


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http://phoenix.craigslist.org/evl/cto/1287429497.html

But here's the part I really like.... It's located in "QUEEN CREEK" LOL !!!

[yam450_53]

LMAO

[honda400ex2003]

last one is the best i read!!! too bad the rest dont come up when the link runs out. i am sure they are just as good. steve

[tri5ron]

2 Teacup Yorkie puppies for breast implants (Orange County, Inland Empire)

Date: 2009-08-22, 6:43PM PDT

yep you read that right!
I have 2 tiny, teddybear-face yorkies I am looking to barter for a breast implant procedure including labs, anesthesia and post surgical visit. My female is 3.8 pounds, and AKC Dad is 3 pounds. These puppies are absolutely adorable, and they are loved on and played with everyday; they are gonna be dynamite pets! I have all four puppies available for sale so you also may have pic of the litter. Doctor must be board-certified with pictures of their work.
Anika

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/bar/1337348312.html

[tri5ron]

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/zip/1349576256.html1986 toyota camry

custom made with heavy duty cardboard body kit

runs good fast and fun

custom cardboard hoodscoop and rear spoiler for

super aerodynamic

15 inch chrome rims

comes with pink sandle air freshner for odor control

flame and dragon decals
Must be out of my driveway by tomorrow (Sunday)



Location: Brea
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1349576256

[631kfx400]

hahahahaha

[honda400ex2003]

thats pimping!!!! steve

[Nate Dogg #76]

I came across a guy on craigslist the other day who wanted to trade lawn mower parts for two packs of cigarettes.

[tri5ron]

Originally posted by Nate Dogg #76
I came across a guy on craigslist the other day who wanted to trade lawn mower parts for two packs of cigarettes. you should have posted it up here.
I know that their must be other funny ones out there other than just the one I find.
come on guys, lets see what you come across ,post 'em up here....

[88redrocket]

This guy thinks someones gonna trade him a banshee, yfz or raptor for this thing!

http://westernmass.craigslist.org/rvs/1350576523.html

[Which 450?]

Originally posted by 88RedRoclet
This guy thinks someones gonna trade him a banshee, yfz or raptor for this thing!

http://westernmass.craigslist.org/rvs/1350576523.html

And he thinks he can get $1500!

[450mxr]

Originally posted by 88RedRoclet
This guy thinks someones gonna trade him a banshee, yfz or raptor for this thing!

http://westernmass.craigslist.org/rvs/1350576523.html

wow :huh

[BakerRacing40]

Originally posted by 88RedRoclet
This guy thinks someones gonna trade him a banshee, yfz or raptor for this thing!

http://westernmass.craigslist.org/rvs/1350576523.html

man i'm all over that... i can't believe you guys are passing that up! i'll give him the yfz and the raptor!!







NOT!!! LMFAO

No for real guys. I mean I just bought a 2009 Yamaha YFZ450R and it's too much bike for me.. I might trade him straight up for that 250. It's more my speed.

[400exrider69]

http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/mcy/1402247921.html

ttr 90 keeps up with 100's
freind kicked spokes out

ttr 125 thought they are powerful bikes for a little 4 stroke will not run 7?

lol i saw this and remembered this thread

[tri5ron]

Originally posted by 400exrider69
http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/mcy/1402247921.html

ttr 90 keeps up with 100's
freind kicked spokes out

ttr 125 thought they are powerful bikes for a little 4 stroke will not run 7?

lol i saw this and remembered this thread
haha that's pretty good. so all I have to do is drive to Indiana in a pick-up truck (approx 4000 miles round trip at 9 mpg in my dually), $3.23 per gallon, then when I get there, I just need to rebuild one engine, reinstall it, buy a complete rear wheel, and of course everything else is in mint condition.
after all tat I'll have a couple of minibikes worth a SOLID $700-$750
Heck, I'm on my way now !!!

[tri5ron]

Gee,... I wonder if this is a misprint ???http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/rvs/1392495085.html



Quad For Sale - $30000 (Inland Empire)

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Date: 2009-09-25, 2:46PM PDT
Reply to: sale-s49ex-1392495085@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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Honda 400EX

With Paddle Tires

Just like new

Please contact me Ed, (cell: 909-754-7911) or (E-mail: Kepvoll@aol.com)


•Location: Inland Empire
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1392495085

[Brauap]

I thought of this thread when I saw this..


http://cleveland.craigslist.org/mcy/1417099526.html

[Brauap]

I thought of this thread when I saw this..


http://cleveland.craigslist.org/mcy/1417099526.html

[J.Brown121]

the funny thing about this is that we've had about 1ft of snow in the last 2yrs lol

http://oklahomacity.craigslist.org/rvs/1432780065.html

[ATV Chic]

Selling scooter need work 49 cc LZ250-5T - $300

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Date: 2009-10-26, 9:58PM EDT
Reply to: sale-nk9m4-1439223576@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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selling scooter because i dont need anymore getting licence... The scooter doesnt run right now needs new carborator which i have just dont have it on...
it only has 322 miles on it has a few scratches but every scooter does. it can go about 40 miles per hour it says 60 but it doesnt go that fast. the battery is new and hardly has any miles or wear on it. comes with the helmit. its a LZ250-5T I paid $925.00 for it in 2005 txt me at 317-450-0128



Some how I think it might be a bad idea for him to sell it cuz i gotta hunch he may not have his license long lol :p

[400exrider69]

yea i got a 2000 rm 125 (decatur ill)

Date: 2009-12-21, 12:08PM CST
Reply to: sale-qensd-1519812844@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

hey i got a 2000, rm 125 its nice it has good tires stock pipes its yellow its fast what happen to it was my buddie was racing it casue thats what he does for a livin i would like to get 1200 or best offer or up for trades just let me no what u got thanks ,all it needs is 3rd and 4th gear replaced its like 40 dollars for the gears and its already torn down thats what coast the most i do got pics of it i just dont need it anymore casue i have a nothier one just like it ans a banshee but there not for sale so my cell is 217 520 6467 call anytime thanks


i got another one like it and abanshee but there not for sale this takes the cake this kid must be like 13 bragging

[racer36]

this one was funny and mad me mad- I sold my 93 s10 to some guy for $900 bucks off from craigslist. Two days later, I see my truck back for sale on craigslist, even with my pictures, for $2500.

Honestly?

[spdygonzalez450]

So since this thread came back alive, I thought I would share a gift I got at a white elephant party. Its a book called "Wanted: Bear Cubs from my Children." It is a book of random craigslist post, and its some of the best stuff you will ever read. Check it out, funny stuff.

[tri5ron]

sounds like a Harley, and keeps up with cars !
Somebody here better jump on this quick !
I especially like the bent front forks !
LOL!

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/mcy/1529974964.html

[chucked]

Originally posted by tri5ron
sounds like a Harley, and keeps up with cars !
Somebody here better jump on this quick !
I especially like the bent front forks !
LOL!

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/mcy/1529974964.html

Thats not the bad of a deal. Thats a good motor!

[honda300EXtreme]

let me see here i think i can give a few...

heres one ill sum up for ya.

guy has a 92 cummins with 10,000 miles (stock), wants $18,900 for it. had a feeling price was off. i checked with kbb and it was worth $4,300 lol
http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/cto/1543000533.html


heres another this guy is the worst salesman ever haha
http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/cto/1546381199.html

im sure ill find more

[88redrocket]

Read this with your best hillbilly accent.

http://westernmass.craigslist.org/rvs/1587590808.html

[250x_kyle]

wouldnt want to look for this on craigslist.

http://meadville.craigslist.org/wan/1556334628.html

[chucked]

Originally posted by 250x_kyle
wouldnt want to look for this on craigslist.

http://meadville.craigslist.org/wan/1556334628.html

I just did a search and found TONS of ads like this...... and some other ones I REALLY didnt want to know about....

[bimcgo1]

I wonder if they would lend the donor a hand

[mjc597]

http://semo.craigslist.org/mcy/1582307393.html


wtf are they thinkin??

[ryansblaster]

Originally posted by mjc597
http://semo.craigslist.org/mcy/1582307393.html


wtf are they thinkin??

that is only worth 4g MAX their f'n stupid

[300racer]

Originally posted by ryansblaster
that is only worth 4g MAX their f'n stupid
i seen that one on craigslist to lmao whats bad is someone will prolly buy it.

[honda01400ex]

omg i found a hott girl onraigslist its a miricale!

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/w4m/1598433243.html

[honda01400ex]

ewwwwww

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/w4m/1598262046.html

[honda01400ex]

omg i think i puked:huh



http://atlanta.craigslist.org/eat/w4m/1597085112.html

[ngates788]

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/cas/ 1596686842.html

email this posting to a friend SF bay area craigslist > south bay > personals > casual encounters
please flag with care:

Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities
Any ladies want to smoke...(some pole)? - m4w - 37 (santa clara)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-02-11, 1:43PM PST

Reply To This Post

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Below is the best illustration I could create using solely keyboard characters to show you what I am fully expecting to happen tonight.

8===D~~~ (-:

My name is Greg. I'm a 37 year old man who needs to take at least a double-dose of Viagra daily for my penis to be even relatively sexually functional. I want to warn you in advance, so that your not alarmed, that my testicles are freakishly large in size (each is slightly smaller than a golf ball). I just don't want you to be frightened when you see them, because they'll more than likely be repeatedly slapping you in the chin/face area for the better half of the 2-5 hours it takes me to fully climax. I've also recently been taking a vitamin supplement that has allowed me to ejaculate massive amounts of fluid, so I will provide you with the necessary eye protection (laboratory goggles or a custom made motorcycle helmet) for when I do orgasm Wear something patriotic because I plan on putting on a show of semen that rivals a Fourth of July firework display.

I'm looking for a certain type of woman to come over an fulfill my needs. You need to be between the heights 6'3'' and 6'8'' (the taller the better) and be very bulky/muscular with obscenely huge nipples. I have no racial preference but I do require that you have at least a reasonable amount of hair visible on your upper lip. If you do not meet the facial hair criteria, I have a movie quality glue-on mustache that I would request you wear throughout our session. You can choose from a pencil thin style, handlebar or what I've deemed the fuzzy caterpillar (my personal preference).

We can arrange to meet at my place or yours. But if we do it at my place, you will have to be very quiet upon entering because my mom lives right down the hall from my room and we don't want to wake her. The last time I tried something like this, she walked in on me pleasuring myself with a papaya and I got grounded for a month. I know, I'm 37. But hey: her house, her rules right!?

Please respond to me and title your email "Call me the vacuum 'cuz I'm always ready to suck" so I can filter out spam and I know you're serious.




it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1596686842

[ngates788]

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/cas/1596686842.html

email this posting to a friend SF bay area craigslist > south bay > personals > casual encounters
please flag with care:


Please report suspected exploitation of minors to the appropriate authorities
Any ladies want to smoke...(some pole)? - m4w - 37 (santa clara)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-02-11, 1:43PM PST

Reply To This Post

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Below is the best illustration I could create using solely keyboard characters to show you what I am fully expecting to happen tonight.

8===D~~~ (-:

My name is Greg. I'm a 37 year old man who needs to take at least a double-dose of Viagra daily for my penis to be even relatively sexually functional. I want to warn you in advance, so that your not alarmed, that my testicles are freakishly large in size (each is slightly smaller than a golf ball). I just don't want you to be frightened when you see them, because they'll more than likely be repeatedly slapping you in the chin/face area for the better half of the 2-5 hours it takes me to fully climax. I've also recently been taking a vitamin supplement that has allowed me to ejaculate massive amounts of fluid, so I will provide you with the necessary eye protection (laboratory goggles or a custom made motorcycle helmet) for when I do orgasm Wear something patriotic because I plan on putting on a show of semen that rivals a Fourth of July firework display.

I'm looking for a certain type of woman to come over an fulfill my needs. You need to be between the heights 6'3'' and 6'8'' (the taller the better) and be very bulky/muscular with obscenely huge nipples. I have no racial preference but I do require that you have at least a reasonable amount of hair visible on your upper lip. If you do not meet the facial hair criteria, I have a movie quality glue-on mustache that I would request you wear throughout our session. You can choose from a pencil thin style, handlebar or what I've deemed the fuzzy caterpillar (my personal preference).

We can arrange to meet at my place or yours. But if we do it at my place, you will have to be very quiet upon entering because my mom lives right down the hall from my room and we don't want to wake her. The last time I tried something like this, she walked in on me pleasuring myself with a papaya and I got grounded for a month. I know, I'm 37. But hey: her house, her rules right!?

Please respond to me and title your email "Call me the vacuum 'cuz I'm always ready to suck" so I can filter out spam and I know you're serious.




it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1596686842

[ATV Chic]

^^:huh

[honda01400ex]

ok nm what i said that takes the cake! i puked :huh :huh :huh

hahaha http://newjersey.craigslist.org/bar/1602428534.html

[chucked]

What are you guys looking for to find these things?

Originally posted by chucked
What are you guys looking for to find these things?

I was in the barter section when I found that one.. haha.

[250x_kyle]

http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/bar/1606868100.html

[flyboy1294]

you guys really need to copy&paste if you want this thread to be anything substantial. First 6 pages are dead links.

[250x_kyle]

Date: 2010-02-18, 2:51PM EST
Reply to: see below

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I will trade this slightly used puch bar for your ferrari, lotus, or dodge viper. I may take a corvette.....mmMMmmm.....if its nice.

thanks





happy now

[flyboy1294]

QUOTE]Originally posted by 250x_kyle
Date: 2010-02-18, 2:51PM EST
Reply to: see below

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I will trade this slightly used puch bar for your ferrari, lotus, or dodge viper. I may take a corvette.....mmMMmmm.....if its nice.

thanks





happy now [/QUOTE] :huh

[beastlywarrior]

90 mph :eek2: :eek2:




Really need to sell a 2007 350 raptor. It is just too fast for our grandson and we don't want him hurt. It will run easily 90 mph plus. Lots of aftermarket parts and in great shape. Paid close to 7000. new and has low hours on it. We do have title for it. Please call 937-441-3282 and ask for carl for more info or to come and see it and ride it. Might come down a little on price to sell it fast. Just want it gone.


•Location: Belle Center
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

[400exrider69]

if he paid 7 grand for warrior 350 he got ripped a new one

90mph only a few modded quads go that fast lol people are unreal.

i've been looking at 7.3 idi trucks for parts a 94 2wd a guy wants 7 grand for looks just like mine i paid a grand for wish i had ad still it was very funny:blah:

[tri5ron]

bringin' an old one back.....

I don't know if anyone here might be interested in this, and I havent called to ask if he is the original owner, or what kind of maintaince schedule it has had,...so your on your own to check it out.
but what the heck,.... it's free, and he claims it's in good condition!

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/zip/1818039309.html
stand for patio umbrella- good condition (Laguna Niguel)
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Date: 2010-06-29, 4:18PM PDT
Reply to: see below
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Free stand for patio umbrella

The umbrella stand is concrete and in very good condition.

The stand will hold your patio umbrella upright and in place.

If the ad is here, it is still waiting for somebody to pick it up.

Pick up in Laguna Niguel at

25131 Calle Casalero (cross street is Madrid)

[tri5ron]

here's another...

Not Involved in the RECALL ! Woo-Hoo !

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/zip/1818097769.html
Boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios and Lucky Charms (Placentia)
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Date: 2010-06-29, 4:55PM PDT
Reply to: see below
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NOT INVOLVED IN THE RECALL!!!!

Too many boxes donated to store.

Limit 3 of each per household. These are the Costco-sized boxes, HUGE!

Nicole, (626) 870-9754

[BenHonda400ex]

Gallon of Bacon Fat (Crestwood)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2011-02-18, 9:33AM CST
Reply to: sale-mmp2n-2221112568@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

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Yep, you read it correctly.
"Why would I want a gallon of bacon grease?" you ask.
Maybe you hate your arteries and want to die a slow but bacon filled death.
Maybe you are a crafter and want to sculpt bacon fat inspired figures.
Maybe your hippie mobile is bacon powered.
The possibilities are endless.
Some say it's worth it's weight in gold. But really, who is willing to pay $1,384 an ounce for bacon fat? So it's yours for free. Just come to Crestwood to get it.


we are a restaurant committed to food safe practices so it is safe to eat although I would recommend cooking with it and NOT eating it out of the jug. Thanks!


^^^^ Haha! SCORE! :D

[250x_kyle]

http://meadville.craigslist.org/mcy/2358874142.html

[Ruby Soho]

http://hartford.craigslist.org/mcy/2369644819.html

[trick450r]

Originally posted by Ruby Soho
http://hartford.craigslist.org/mcy/2369644819.html


"Rips like a horse!"

that sounds perf for you joe...

[Tommy Warren]

Originally posted by Ruby Soho
http://hartford.craigslist.org/mcy/2369644819.html

whats with the xmas tree and the goat?:huh