use of offensive terms

[tri5ron]

I'm just curious as to why so many members here like to use the word "retarded", or "tard", when they disagree with something, or dislike something.

I have seen this word used with increasing frequency, malice, and always in a derogatory, mean spirited, offensive manner.

I wonder if any of these members have ever been involved with someone who actually is mentally retarded, or ever had a family member who has some sort of learning disabilities.

and do they treat someone who is mentally retarded the same way, that they use this term on this forum.

Obviously, this is something that I find irratating, but I do try to not be hyper-sensitive to it. I would be more than happy to introduce my son to anyone who is interested in learning. I am very proud of him, and his many accomplishments.
Everyday is a new experience, with new challenges, and new goals. He never lets me down, he is happy, he is intense, he is creative, he is fun-loving, he is bright, and he is also retarded.

He has taught me far more about myself, than I will ever possibly be able to teach him. I have learned patience, I have learned tolerance, and I am indebted to him for making me a better person than I would ever have been if I didn't have him.

If you were to meet us in person, and were to ask me if my son is retarded, my responce would be a pleasant "yes he is", "do you also have a family member who is retarded?".

But if you were to say to me "is he a retard or 'tard",
then I would consider that to be a derogotory mis-use of the term, and if I felt it was intentionally used to degrade, or humilate him, then my responce would certainly not be pleasant.

my folks always taught me to "think before you speak", and I also feel that it should be "think before you type".

I honestly would like to hear from members who use this term
and feel there is nothing wrong with it. I would like to hear their explanation or justification.
I'm betting that they will likely read this post, but not have the nerve to reply in any intellegent manner.

I would also like to hear from any member that feels this is a term that really needs to be eliminated, if used in a negative manner.

I am NOT trying to start a thread, for people to start flaming me or anyone else, for that matter. I AM asking for responces from BOTH sides of the fence, so that I can better understand some of the people who use this term in their everyday conversations, and how they can feel that it is not hurtful to others

Please keep any responces clean, and respectful.

Ron,
dad to Nickolas, He is my son, He is my buddy, He is my hero,
and yes, He is also retarded.

[400exrider707]

Like you said, you really cant be too hyper sensitive to it. This forum is filled with immature teenagers and there really isn't a thing that can be done about it. I totally understand where you're coming from, even though I personally dont know anyone that is mentally or physically retarded, but I do understand that it can be offensive if used incorrectly.

I've seen worse typed in here, and frankly I dont know how anyone would combat this, other than the members themselves making a valiant effort to NOT say derogatory comments like this.

tri5ron, very well said bro.

It is sad times that the "kids" find it acceptable to use this term in the way they do and so loosly throw it about.

I find myself staying away from people who decide to use derogatory terms as these people are obviously children with no life experience and have nothing to bring to the forum except mallace.

Again, a heart felt speach and more power to you.

[initall]

I agree, there are to many ignorant kids here that think it is cool to be verbally abusive to others. I think they do it to feel better about themselves becuase they are not happy with their own lives. I blame the parents, parents need to teach and mentor their kids and teach them to respect others. I see this all the time, and it is quite disappointing to see that parents are trying to be buddies to their kids and not a parent.

I believe that the word should never be used in a mocking or degrading way. I dont like to see people using it in that way and I cant figure out why people would use it in a mocking or degrading way. I was friends with these 2 brothers back in middle school, one of which was mentally challenged. He was one of the nicest person you could meet, very polite always willing to help you with things its just that he was mentally challenged. So people shouldnt judge a book by its cover or make fun of someone else for something they cant help.

[trxwannbe]

a neighbor and good friend of mine is also mentally retarded (we are both 19) and in his presence i'm very self conscious of my use of those words but at the same time when your not in the company of someone who is afflicted by this those words don't seem to hold any real meaning. i know its wrong and i have tried many times to stop using it and other derogatory terms but with how loosely they are used by people all around me they continue to find there way into my vocabulary. i personally would like to apologize to you if i have said anything along those lines on here that has offended you or your son and hope you can understand that i don't in any way mean it to hurt someone anymore than calling them stupid should, and that it is also in no way a direct comparison to someone like your son.

[Quad18star]

Ron I applaud you for voicing your opinion on this subject. Too many people thow around the term in a bashful manner.

I have the outmost respect for anyone that raises or helps care for mentally challenged indviduals .... it sure does require a lot of time and patience . My mom worked at a group home for many years , and these mentally retarded folks are some of the funnest I have ever met in my life and they can teach you a lot about yourself.

I think what some people need to learn , is that these people don't ask to be born with a disability nor do their parents wish to have a mentally retarded child .... but it's a challenge that you come to terms with and live with.

[Quad18star]

Originally posted by trxwannbe
a neighbor and good friend of mine is also mentally retarded (we are both 19) and in his presence i'm very self conscious of my use of those words but at the same time when your not in the company of someone who is afflicted by this those words don't seem to hold any real meaning. i know its wrong and i have tried many times to stop using it and other derogatory terms but with how loosely they are used by people all around me they continue to find there way into my vocabulary. i personally would like to apologize to you if i have said anything along those lines on here that has offended you or your son and hope you can understand that i don't in any way mean it to hurt someone anymore than calling them stupid should, and that it is also in no way a direct comparison to someone like your son.

It takes courage to admit when you've done wrong .. and as you've said ... a lot of times people use bashful words because they hear it around them used so casually.

[ALAMX37]

Well I use it in a derogatory manner, and yes I have dealt with mentally challenged individuals and I have volunteered at the special Olympics too. I can say from first hand experience truly retarded(because that is the medical term for it) individuals dont know they meaning of the word, its people who aren't retarded who take it offensively and teach the handicapped individual to feel that way too. I say it because I have a little thing called freedom of speech and I am willing to back up anything that comes out of my mouth.
I would never say the word towards a handicapped individual in a derogatory mannerism, but the simple fact is I use it to denounce stupid actions by completely competent people. If that is wrong each and everyone of you are hypocrites because you all say things like stupid, and other derogatory terms that aren't aimed at the people who truly define those terms. So who can argue with that because that my friends is the damn truth.

[trx400EXtreme]

i think the reason most people use those terms is because they know they can get away with it. before i go on anymore, id like to apologize for all the times ive said it. yes i know its wrong, but in my own defense, i would NEVER use it to offend anyone. one of my good friends back in like 8th grade had a brother that was mentally retarded. i never relized how much work it was to take care of him untill i went over to his house one day. ever since that day, i have had MAJOR respect for anyone caring for someone mentally retarded. it's definately not easy.

[ALAMX37]

Just to clarify I have tremendous respect for retarded people and their caretakers, I fully understand the struggle. My mother owned a daycare and I had to care for three retarded children and it really breaks my heart. But it is in my vocabulary and I will continue to use it.

[ikas]

Its much people that is hard behind the screen and when they are in real life they are nice. but when they sit at the computer they say al the bad words. I try to be my self when im "behind the screen" :) And i dont understand that they use the word retard and tard why use that word they cant control that they got like they are and EVERY PERSON IS WORTH THE SAME ! its what i think :)

[airmobile101]

Its moreless a slang. Do I use it ? No, I dont. I can think up some pretty creative words to use instead of," retard" or "tard".
;)

[dustin_j]

Originally posted by initall
I agree, there are to many ignorant kids here that think it is cool to be verbally abusive to others. I think they do it to feel better about themselves becuase they are not happy with their own lives. I blame the parents, parents need to teach and mentor their kids and teach them to respect others. I see this all the time, and it is quite disappointing to see that parents are trying to be buddies to their kids and not a parent.

Oh...You mean parenting is a responsibility? You can't just sit them in front of the tv? :huh

I agree with you completely, parents need to grow up and take responsibility.

[scottsworld]

wow you guys are retarded just for having this conversation J/K lol.

[chris46250r]

Originally posted by scottsworld
wow you guys are retarded just for having this conversation J/K lol.

Somebody should hit you right in the teeth.

[Hondamaster5505]

Originally posted by scottsworld
wow you guys are retarded just for having this conversation J/K lol.

a-hole. That wasn't even funny:grr:

[airmobile101]

Originally posted by scottsworld
wow you guys are retarded just for having this conversation J/K lol.
Not cool bro.

[RideRed84]

Ok you guys are probably going to flame the He!! out of of me but here it goes. First off I am 24 so I'm not a punk teenager anymore. Though I may not have a mentally challenged member in my family I have had a lot of contact with these special people. They are happier than you and me could ever be. But the term "retard" or "tard" has lost a lot of it's meaning. Like the term "queer" or "***". Frankly Tri5 I'm surprised you called your son "mentally retarded". I think some times people look for a reason to get upset and take the meaning of a word a little too personally. If someone were to refer to a special person as a "retard" I would be the first to jump all over them but to say someone's comment is retarded or something is retarded I have no problem with.

[airmobile101]

Naw, Im not gonna flame yea since you made a good point !!
I think "mentally challenged" would have been a better term to use.

Originally posted by ALAMX37
Well I use it in a derogatory manner, and yes I have dealt with mentally challenged individuals and I have volunteered at the special Olympics too. I can say from first hand experience truly retarded(because that is the medical term for it) individuals dont know they meaning of the word, its people who aren't retarded who take it offensively and teach the handicapped individual to feel that way too. I say it because I have a little thing called freedom of speech and I am willing to back up anything that comes out of my mouth.
I would never say the word towards a handicapped individual in a derogatory mannerism, but the simple fact is I use it to denounce stupid actions by completely competent people. If that is wrong each and everyone of you are hypocrites because you all say things like stupid, and other derogatory terms that aren't aimed at the people who truly define those terms. So who can argue with that because that my friends is the damn truth.

Do you have any idea what you sound like. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

[Pappy]

For the most part, when seen on these forums, the term "Tard or retarded" is slang and is commonly used by most. You can deny that but face it, youve used it.

Secondly, before anyone would take offenense to the term, one would have to see in what context the term is being used. If someone called your son a tard well then you have a gripe. Seeing the term used in the context as is most commonly used is based on slang and not a derogatory statement towards those with mental handicaps.

We have all said ****** before but its rarely used openly here except by white kids wanting to sound trendy. Hey, you hear the word non stop in music and in movies and by blacks, your going to start hearing it from others. The difference being the word ****** is a direct deflamation against a race and really cant be deemed slang even though it is these days(i.e nigga nigz niggaz etc)

If you have had your son directly attacked on here regarding his disability, then you let me know. If not, there isnt much we can do about your feelings being hurt as we are not the internet police and have to pick our battles even if we fully agree with where your coming from.

[Ralph]

I don't have much to say to explain myself but i can tell you i treat mentally challenged people with the same respect i give anyone else.

A family friend actually wrote a book about her handicapped daughterl; http://www.buy.com/prod/rose-s-colors-a-mother-s-journey/q/loc/106/30799776.html.

and I'm not picking on anyone here but i just did a quick search and found some of the following quotes. It just goes to show that people truly don't mean any disrespect toward the mentally challenged, they just use it as a term to express themselves.


Originally posted by Quad18star
I'd kick myself in the nuts before I ever paid over $1000 for a game station , actually I'd kick myself before I ever paid $500 ... then you have to buy the games for like $70 each . RETARDED !!!!!!!


Originally posted by trx400EXtreme
its a bird.... its a plane.... no its RETARD MAN!!!:devil:


Originally posted by chris46250r
If he had insurance this video should be shown as reason to deny payment. But probably he didn't have insurance and we all paid to fix his retarded arse back up to do it again.


Originally posted by Ralph
Formula 1 is absolutely amazing. It doesn't get any better than that. Its a shame people don't watch it more. I think nascar is retarded and doesn't hold my attention at all. Nothing exciting about nascar, especially when you put it up against formula 1.

[Ralph]

Originally posted by Hondamaster5505
a-hole. That wasn't even funny:grr:


Originally posted by Hondamaster5505
Yamaha built the banshee for one reason, the dunes. And they definitly did that. Then people on the east decided to start buying them and putting low-end pipes and crap on them, which I think is retarded. Ours are setup for mid-top end, like they were built to do.

[tman12345]

It just goes to show that some people inadvertantly use these derogatory terms without thinking about it. I honestly don't even really know if I say the word "retard" anymore. I don't remember the last time I did but i know I used to when I was younger. Now I think I'm more aware of the effects of using these offensive terms and try to be more careful as to what comes out of my mouth.

[pro-rider46]

saying retard now is like saying thats stupid.

[Warnerade]

I say it, and theres times I say it a lot...its already been beat to death for the reasoning...and I completely agree with the posts that all say its ok to use it, especially pappys. I, by no means have ever made fun of someone mentally handicapped and hold a grudge against those that do...I've actually lost friends over that. However, if my friend told me to move out fo my parents house because I would save a lot of money...I would most likely call him a retard...not because he is, but because the statement made.

Get offended by it, or dont...both take the same amount of effort.

honda-master...way to be a perfect example of someone I would call a retard:)

Hondamaster5505, Ralph got ya

[Hondamaster5505]

Originally posted by Ralph


hey hey hey now, I NEVER said I don't use the word. I don't say it to affend challenged kids though.

I said he was an a-hole, not because he said retarded, but because he came in this thread and made a joke with it, when this was all serious.

Don't be twisting my words:p lol

[Flyin-Low]

I use the term "retard" all too often, but the key is that I'll never use the word directed at or even around someone who actually has a learning disability.

I have a family member who is middle aged and has the intelligence level of a 7 year old. He lives in a group home but we invite him over to our house quite often just to spend the day with us, and we couldn't have more fun. He's not too bad when it comes to playing a game of pool either lol.

As I said, I use the term "retard" loosely.. But if I ever were to hear someone use it directed at him or any other person with a learning disability, I'd snap.

[JR3]

My girlfriend works with the mentaly retarded as an aid. she opened my eyes to how gifted and special they really are i use to use the term a lot but it truley offends her because she works with them everyday and once i saw how they are i didnt want to use it any more.

I have just received a private message from ALAM37, this is probably not the place to publish his message but it shows what a silly individual he is.

Quote ALAM37:

"My opinion

If you dont like it you can go **** yourself, I dont go after individuals on this site. If you have a problem with my views tough ****. Grow up and get a grip on reality, my statements have a greater volume of intelligence than anything that has ever exited your "retarded" mouth."

You say in the PM that your "statements have a greater volume of intelligence"......really.

Well, all I can say is thanks for that and in future I'd rather you didn't fill my pm box up with abuse.

[ALAMX37]

You know what you guys are right.
But I would like to know why you feel as though you have the right to call someone out in a thread, would you please tell me your logic.

[trxwannbe]

Originally posted by ALAMX37
My god how stupid are the people on this site, you go after me in a thread and expect what me to sit there and say of thats ok. You think you have the right to bash someone because their opinion differs from your own, yeah right. Look, you can kiss my ***. If you aren't grown up enough to realize I am not going to let you bash me without saying something then you aren't very smart now are you.
I hope you feel like a big man, first you come after me, then you do it again, all in a thread that has nothing to do with what you've posted. Your the reason this site is *****, people like you.

if there is anything wrong with this site because of the people in it, its people like you who just can't seem to hold in the stupid comments they know they shouldn't post. no matter what anyone says to you on here there is no need for you to come back in an aggressive and threatening manner whether the person came at you that way or not because it just makes you seem like another lowlife who can't stand up for himself in real life and chooses to do it on the internet instead.

[Pipeless416]

Originally posted by ALAMX37
Your the reason this site is *****, people like you.

no ones holding a gun to your head.. leave? :macho

[mcwilly]

Originally posted by tri5ron
I am NOT trying to start a thread, for people to start flaming me or anyone else, for that matter. I AM asking for responces from BOTH sides of the fence, so that I can better understand some of the people who use this term in their everyday conversations, and how they can feel that it is not hurtful to others

Please keep any responces clean, and respectful.





:devil:

[ZeroLogic]

Originally posted by ALAMX37
My god how stupid are the people on this site, you go after me in a thread and expect what me to sit there and say of thats ok. You think you have the right to bash someone because their opinion differs from your own, yeah right. Look, you can kiss my ***. If you aren't grown up enough to realize I am not going to let you bash me without saying something then you aren't very smart now are you.
I hope you feel like a big man, first you come after me, then you do it again, all in a thread that has nothing to do with what you've posted. Your the reason this site is *****, people like you.

You are gay!










:eek:

[Hondamaster5505]

Originally posted by ALAMX37
You know what you guys are right.
But I would like to know why you feel as though you have the right to call someone out in a thread, would you please tell me your logic.

Dude, people always make comments. Get over it. If this site is too much for you to handle, go cry to your mommy and eat a cookie.

[Warnerade]

Originally posted by Hondamaster5505
Dude, people always make comments. Get over it. If this site is too much for you to handle, go cry to your mommy and eat a cookie. sounds like your speaking from experience...

[ZeroLogic]

Originally posted by NacsRacer027
sounds like your speaking from experience...

You tell em hunny!

[Ruby Soho]

im not going to lie, i say retard a lot. when i say it, i don't mean retard as in mentally challenged, i mean it, more of like "you idiot". i don't understand why people use it like that, but its what i've been around and grown a custom to saying. one of my cousins is retarded, shes 20 years old, and through tests she is 8 in her mind. and she can be the nicest person in the world, but you have to be careful because she has the level of intelligence of an 8 year old. the sad part is, my aunt (her mother) was slightly retarded as well, and she couldn't raise her kids (my cousin and her brother who isn't at all retarded) so my great-aunt raised them, and the sad part is nobody is really there for them. they had no parents and my great-aunt has more of a bittersweet relationship with them.

so i do know a mentally challenged person first hand, im actually going to be seeing her tommorow for a 4th of july party. and when i use that term i don't mean it like that, its just a terrible habbit.

i apologize if in any of my posts i have offended anyone.

[scottsworld]

Originally posted by chris46250r
Somebody should hit you right in the teeth.

dude i will smack the retarde out of you, you guys really need to get a life nobody is making fun of the handy capped it is just used as slang and i was only kidding

Retard also has a legit meaning though. My car has an msd ignition retarder to retard it so I can run premium fuel in my high compression engine. Don't declare war on a word for people using it incorrectly.

[416exfreak]

Originally posted by ZeroLogic
You tell em hunny!

Damnit... I thought we were done sharing?:(

[416exfreak]

Originally posted by scottsworld
wow you guys are retarded just for having this conversation J/K lol.

Way to be <em>THAT</em> guy....:chinese:

[Hondamaster5505]

Originally posted by NacsRacer027
sounds like your speaking from experience...

Yes I am and I'll admit it. But Im not like this guy. On a forum you have to know how to take hits.

[hondarider101]

ohh and u know how to do that?