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View Full Version : I had to write a paper....



416exfreak
11-13-2007, 07:00 PM
Let me know what you guys think. It had to be about our favorite sport, from a 1st and 3rd person view.

Here it is....
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Alot of people just dont understand. They have no bearing on why people like me ride. They can't grasp the concept of the freedom I suppose. Please, allow me to explain it to you.

You wake up to the sound of a whole field full of your best friends and comrades, all waking up to the same sound you are. Engines, 4-stroke, 2-stroke, whatever. Its the most exciting sound in the world. You walk outside, the air is cool, ground wet with the nights dew. There is a thin fog in the air, but you know it will be gone by the time the first moto starts.

Upon going back inside, you see that your father already has a small breakfat of eggs and grits prepared. You eat hurriedly, while blasting your favorite music. Personally nothing is better for me to get pumped with than some All that Remains. You strap on all your gear and head back out. You spend about 20 minutes just checking over your bike or quad. After your done inspecting it, you turn the key and hit that magic button, or in some cases kick it over until it starts.

Warming up and listening to the mean, low growl of a big thumper is just so exhilerating. Occasionally you blip the throttle, just to hear it bark. You pull off and head out to put in a few practice laps before the race starts. Feeling the cool morning air running over your body, along with the weightlessness and care-free smoothness of Gary Denton or Chad Weinen. Just enjoying life, and all its presenting you. Thanking everything for the ability on be on the track battling with everyone. You no longer regret those 3 and 4 hour training sessions that make you want to die.

On this day, everything is perfect.

You hear the final call for the first moto, and you roll up to the gate. You fire up the engine and give it a few good revs to clean it out. The 30 second board turns sideways and you pin it. You know that anytime in the next 5 seconds, the race will be underway. The noise of the pack is deafening. All those 4-strokes bouncing off the rev limiters is like music to your ears though.

The gate drops and the world turns to a blur. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th. Your going through the gears as fast as you can, but its still not quite enough. Then, as soon as it started, its over. Contact, the first turn and you have the holeshot. Coming out of the turn you soar over a small double an hit a short rythm section. You come out of the rythm section and make a sharp left. Roost is flying, peolpe are falling, flipping and going down all around you. No time for concern, this is war.

Several laps have gone by now and as you jump the finish line double the white flag flies. Last lap, and you know now that its time to let it all go. The whole last lap is on the line of going to the ER. Your pinned down every straight, through every corner and off every jump. You do whatever it takes to win, regardless of the toll on your body. You can see the finish again, and its a welcome sight.

You soar over the finish line with the checkered flag flying. Once again, you come to reality and feel the cool air, see the sun and all the fans yelling and cheering. You see the other racers ride by and give you a thumbs up or a good job shout. Your warriors on the track, but off the track your best friends.

Going back to the pits you slide your helmet off and smile. This isnt over, the perfection of this day gets to occur 3 more times.

07250ex
11-13-2007, 07:06 PM
thats awesome dude your a true rider if you can think that deeplu about it

pro-rider46
11-13-2007, 07:47 PM
wow, thats a great writing, you put a lot of time and thought into it, is this for a class project, or is it just for you to write?

LeGaCyGiAnT124
11-13-2007, 08:20 PM
That is a very good paper, the only thing I would change is in the first paragraph about your friends and comrades, It sounds like a soldier word to me lol. And I also agree on the all that remains part about getting you pumped up. I listen to like the whole fall of ideals cd, they are an amazing band! Good luck with your paper man.

Pipeless416
11-13-2007, 08:26 PM
good content, but you may want to consider going over the grammar, punctuation, and word usage.. good imagery though.

BlaineKaiser450
11-13-2007, 08:58 PM
i like it! good paper

700bRad
11-13-2007, 09:23 PM
you should spell out your abbreviations like "ER". Correction- [E.R. (Emergency Room)]

derekhonda
11-13-2007, 09:26 PM
Yeah good so far, take it to another teacher and ask them to go over the grammar and then its excellent.

fastyz85
11-13-2007, 10:02 PM
haha I love these papers. I wrote one in school too and they are the only writing assignment where I actually liked to write, but good job on it and readig this makes me sad that its 11:50 and dark, and I can't ride. :D :ermm:

mineralgrey01gt
11-13-2007, 10:57 PM
Man great paper but from going through every college english and high school english, change all the contractions to the words they are shortening, such as can't to can not, etc. It will help improve your paper and impress your teacher

suzukigirl
11-13-2007, 11:45 PM
thats awesome...brought a smile to my face as i imagined my last race...you summed it all up right there...good job on the paper :)

416exfreak
11-14-2007, 04:31 AM
Thanks everyone. I had to write it for English 3 honors, but I stil have 3 weeks before its due. (I get work done ahead of time, so I can play and goof off). But im taking it to my old english 2 honors teacher today to let her go through it.:p

Thanks for the opinions and comments everyone:D

54warrior
11-14-2007, 06:23 AM
That was great.

In the last paragraph, I noticed you were using "your" when it should have been "you're"

Raptor68
11-14-2007, 02:17 PM
Very first word in the first paragraph...(alot) It's a lot.

Spell out numbers under one hundred.

Be careful using words like blip...your teacher might not understand them.

When talking about the different engines, types in the 2nd paragraph, don't use "whatever". Say what you mean...your teacher won't like this word in there.