tat900
04-20-2007, 06:50 AM
>> The ant and the grasshopper
>>
>> OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
>> building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
>>
>> The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
>> the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
>>
>> The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
>>
>> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
>>
>> ************************************************** **********
>> MODERN VERSION:
>>
>> The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
>> house and laying up supplies for the winter.
>>
>> The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
>> the summer away.
>>
>> Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
> demands
>> to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
>> others
>> are cold and starving.
>>
>> CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
>> grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
> table
>> filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
>>
>> How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
> is
>> allowed to suffer so?
>>
>> Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
>> cries
>> when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
>>
>> Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
>> the
>> news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has
>> the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
>>
>> Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that
>> the
>> ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
>> immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
>>
>> Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act
>> retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing
> to
>> hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay
>> his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
>>
>> Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
>> defamation
>> suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
>> judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
>> recipients.
>>
>> The ant loses the case.
>>
>> The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
>> the
>> ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be
>> the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
>>
>> The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a
>> drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a
> gang
>> of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
>>
>> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.
>>
>> OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
>> building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
>>
>> The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
>> the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
>>
>> The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
>>
>> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
>>
>> ************************************************** **********
>> MODERN VERSION:
>>
>> The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
>> house and laying up supplies for the winter.
>>
>> The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays
>> the summer away.
>>
>> Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
> demands
>> to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
>> others
>> are cold and starving.
>>
>> CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
>> grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
> table
>> filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
>>
>> How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
> is
>> allowed to suffer so?
>>
>> Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
>> cries
>> when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
>>
>> Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
>> the
>> news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has
>> the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
>>
>> Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that
>> the
>> ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an
>> immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
>>
>> Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act
>> retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing
> to
>> hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay
>> his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
>>
>> Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
>> defamation
>> suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
>> judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
>> recipients.
>>
>> The ant loses the case.
>>
>> The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
>> the
>> ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be
>> the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
>>
>> The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a
>> drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a
> gang
>> of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
>>
>> MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.