When girls don't put out

[Project300EX]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me t o satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear,
let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

[maxamillion]

LMAO , you might not get any for a week now! Im surprised you didnt get bitc* slapped when you said that last line. lol

[Ace Sixx]

An oldie but a goodie!

[mephyst]

If this is true, you are my hero. LOL.

[Dupontster]

Damn!

[hawaiikfx400]

i will deff remeber this next time, you are a wise man.if you really did that you are my hero as well.:macho

[AtvMxRider]

LMGDAO that was priceless

[Pappy]

my wife did not find it funny....but i sure as hell did:D

[quadracer707]

freakin amazing. How true how true

[old-XC-guy]

Thats GREAT !!!!!

[Caseys 300ex]

I didnt expect that ending hahahaha.

[450raider]

:cool: NNNNIIIIIICCCCCEEEEEE!!!!!!!........now, pi** on that go ridin :D

[PolarisRider06]

that is awesome... thats good enough i might actually post it as a bulletin on myspace and that doesn't happen that often unless something is really interesting/clever...

[ZeroLogic]

Originally posted by Ace Sixx
An oldie but a goodie!

[mx428]

This has been going around for years.

[mephyst]

Originally posted by Caseys 300ex
I didnt expect that ending hahahaha.

Me neither, I was going to comment on how much of a puss he was... until the end... Hahahahah.

but it seems like a lot of people have read this before so I guess it wasn't him... =[

[Scott-300ex]

I'll tell you the sexual needs.

Us teenager guys are always horny.

The chicks just want to talk.

[Project300EX]

Originally posted by PolarisRider06
that is awesome... thats good enough i might actually post it as a bulletin on myspace and that doesn't happen that often unless something is really interesting/clever...

That's where I got it from.

[ugottabayou]

LOL, thats awsome!

Originally posted by mx428
This has been going around for years.

So has your face.


Originally posted by Scott-300ex
I'll tell you the sexual needs.

Us teenager guys are always horny.

The chicks just want to talk.

Talk about a day in my life, SHEESH.

[flyin#5]

Originally posted by Scott-300ex
I'll tell you the sexual needs.

Us teenager guys are always horny.

The chicks just want to talk.

idk about that. i think a lot of girls are more horny than guys... well i know it. haha. they just dont show it as easily and as openly as guys. guys will get a high 5 if he screws a different girl every week, girls will be called a slut... so i think that plays a big role.

funny ***** though. haha.

[Project300EX]

With guys it's called being horny, with girls they get away with being nympho. :rolleyes:

[MX MaNiAc 06]

Nicely done man. You have a very good point. Guys spend all kinds of money on girls to have sex. So if she doesnt make with the sex, dont make with the money!! Im gonna keep this in mind and use it if u dont mind.

[jokester]

Originally posted by flyin#5
idk about that. i think a lot of girls are more horny than guys... well i know it. haha. they just dont show it as easily and as openly as guys. guys will get a high 5 if he screws a different girl every week, girls will be called a slut... so i think that plays a big role.

funny ***** though. haha.

thats the truth at our school. most of the chicks are just as horny if not more than us guys. they aren't near as open about it, but every now and then you can get em to admit it, and get them to talk about how much they want to get laid.... and trust me I'm very happy to oblige them:devil:

[TMSmx47]

I have to say that was the funniest chit I heard in long time.. Prob cuz Im damm near married and can relate to this all to well!!

[DF400ex]

dude that's awesome. Now if my chick was only like that I would try it on her. But she wants it like 10x a day... well not really, but she has this 3x rule as a minimum. But it didn't start off like that, it took her a few months to really get into things and feel comfortable enough to openly get into it that many times with out feeling cheap. What ever, works for me.

Originally posted by MX MaNiAc 06
Nicely done man. You have a very good point. Guys spend all kinds of money on girls to have sex. So if she doesnt make with the sex, dont make with the money!! Im gonna keep this in mind and use it if u dont mind.

i always said that dating is a legal form of prostitution...instead of us ; taking them out to dinner, movies, etc etc...why can't we just hand them the hundred and skip all the other crap!! same end result!! :devil:

[mx428]

Originally posted by MrMan
So has your face.
Not as long as your mom has been.

[troutman561]

Originally posted by mx428
Not as long as your mom has been.

Whoa I havnt heard constructive mature arguments like this for years, sweet.

[dunnonuttin]

Originally posted by flyin#5
idk about that. i think a lot of girls are more horny than guys... well i know it. haha. they just dont show it as easily and as openly as guys. guys will get a high 5 if he screws a different girl every week, girls will be called a slut... so i think that plays a big role.

funny ***** though. haha. yea dude, my gf when she is in the mood, she is always just as horny as i am and starts grabbing at places that if i mention i will be banned lol but the problem is when we are both in the mood, we never have protection or we are somewhere that there is too much chance of us getting caught but when we are somewhere that we have that zero chance of getting caught or we have protection but she isnt in the mood, it is always like that and i think she is messing with me. a good example is, the other day. her parents were gone about an hour away when i went to pick her up, so she says to come in and all and we go to the living room and im like your parents arent here and she was like yea so things start heating up and we decide to go to her room and just when i think im about to get laid she says "no baby im not in the mood" and right then i felt like giving up completely, i try my best to get her in the mood and it dont work. i give up at it for the day and we leave. later that day, she whispers in my ear "im in the mood" and it was too late cause her parents were home by then and she says she wants her first time to be in a bed, not in the back of my jeep and thats when i tell her that shes been watching too much tv and she has this look like shes about ready to smack the hell out of me. oh well the time will eventually come

[Warnerade]

im glad this thread turned into kids lieing about how much they get laid.

[dunnonuttin]

Originally posted by NacsRacer027
im glad this thread turned into kids lieing about how much they get laid. only one person has talked about how much they get laid and that was back on page two so i dont think anyone has been lying about anything so far, some of these guys might be exagerating on how all the girls are horny and want to get laid as much as the guys:p but other than that ive only seen on person talk about getting laid;)

[TXATVRIDER]

I got that joke a long time ago in an email. Always a classic

[400exrider707]

In the words of Peter Griffin.... "We all know that no woman anywhere wants to have sex with any man...ever"

[smithn1683]

no thats just in your case:p

[DF400ex]

Originally posted by dunnonuttin
only one person has talked about how much they get laid and that was back on page two so i dont think anyone has been lying about anything so far, some of these guys might be exagerating on how all the girls are horny and want to get laid as much as the guys:p but other than that ive only seen on person talk about getting laid;)

It's definitely no lie. Ever since she found out that I'm going back to Iraq it's been on as much as physically possible, lol. You gata get a few in the bank to last a cellabet (sp) year in Iraq. haha

[Mean250r]

Originally posted by smithn1683
no thats just in your case:p

owned

That was the funniest chit ive read in a while.

[400exrider707]

Originally posted by Mean250r
owned

That was the funniest chit ive read in a while.

If you only knew the half of it....:o

smithn doesn't have time for women anyways, with all the work on the beastly 230 he has to do.....:blah:

[esr250r86]

rotflmfao.

[smithn1683]

Originally posted by 400exrider707
If you only knew the half of it....:o

smithn doesn't have time for women anyways, with all the work on the beastly 230 he has to do.....:blah:


Eh At least the 230 puts out, although she does have a nasty habit of smoking. She sure loves those 2 up wheelies though:rolleyes:

Clean out you PM's.........

[smithn1683]

and I was talking about those turf tamers you have out behind your shed on rims are they a 5" bolt pattern?