Okay Dads I need advice ( I guess mom's too)

[03sp500]

Heres the deal, I spent all winter held up in a small shed building a nice race quad for my son to race. He helped a lot and we had a great time. It's his second year racing and we are looking forward to it more than I can say. The bikes at the engine builder getting some snot installed, and all looks great right. WRONG junior got his report card today and got 3 thats right 3 F's... last card he got B's and C's. Mom says guess what he aint touching that bike when it gets back, and he aint racing till those grades improve.
So what do you guys do in the same situation? the season starts in 17 days and I'm at a loss. Some one help me please give me ideas. I'm pretty good of coming up with ideas but I got nothin.

[tim colston]

Man this is tough , but school comes first. It sucks but you have to be that way. Junior will need school in the long run. It teaches responsiblity as well. Be firm on this and maybe it will give him some insentive to work harder. Good luck

i, too am a tim and i agree with the other tim

[406Z26]

Well when I was young and got a bad report card...

My old man would kick the snot out of me and make me his personal landscaper all summer (or until a good report).

I'll tell you what, after a good beating and a full 9 weeks of yard work I had good grades.

Nothing says get good grades till you move a couple tons of dirt/gravel shovel full by shovel full.

[bellzbub]

the others are right. school first.
i would not cut off the riding comepletely though. maybe let him practice but no racing.
a friend of mine went through this with his son, after 2 mos off the bike he got into serious trouble with the law and now sits in juvenile detention for 6 mos.

give him something to shoot for. and ask his teacher(s) for weekly progress reports. give him extra chores around the house. etc

whichever way you go it is up to you to monitor how your child is doing. now that you know about the problem don't let it go any farther.

sorry this is so long but sometimes things take a little explaining.

[03sp500]

The thing that kills me the most is I agree with all of you guys. I just wish I had a magic wand. I know what taking the racing away will do to him and it hurts me think of it. But his education is 1st in mine and my wifes mind. school ends at the end of May. maybe he will only miss 4 races if he brings his grades up.

[tim colston]

You know what to do but sometimes it is easier to hear it from other people. 4 Races isn't bad

[BradLoomis]

The same thing happened with my son, but because of sponsorship commitments I felt that he needed to be at the race. After talking with his sponsors, they all felt it would be in everyones best interest for him to be there registered to race and sitting on the starting gate area... watching.
It killed me and him and we haven't had a problem since with his grades. He realizes that school and responsibilities come first in life, even with his sponsors.
The teacher should be able to give you an update on his progress before the next race so that he would only miss one in the series. And then just follow the improvements race by race and he will soon be back to where he was.

[Nichols Atvs]

You need to set it where he can see it at all times to remind him he will not be able to touch it untill the grades come up. You as well if you both know you cant touch it youll work harder at helping him, going to be hard for both, It can work . Hard part is you need to help him get the grades up (Help not do!! ) Talk to the teachers most of the time they will give extra work to get the grades back up as long as they know he is making the effert then they can revaluate in a month to make everyone happy. He will respect you for your effert to help him with his grade by packing not to touch the quad. (And most of all Youll score BIG points with the BIG BOSS) ---SHHH--- dont leek this to the ladys we wouldnt want them to know, were on to them we still wear(THE) pants.

Originally posted by BradLoomis
The . After talking with his sponsors, they all felt it would be in everyones best interest for him to be there registered to race and sitting on the starting gate area... watching.


that was a great idea by the sponsors, glad they could be ok with that too...

[03sp500]

I like the idea of sitting at the gate watching. I actually thought about having one of his friends race his bike for the first couple of races, But I thought that might be like a wedge between them. I am the lord and master of my house (when she's not at home) and she has finally started to calm down a bit. It looks like we may have a plan. if quizzes and tests come out exceptional for the next 2 weeks we may get a reprieve. Boy I hope he understands the danger he is in. and does whats right, we have a parent teacher meeting tommorrow afternoon. wish us luck

[BradLoomis]

I wouldn't let anyother kid even ride it, because then it is tainted. This is a brand new creation that you two built for him. But I would let him take it out for the practice laps and then have to sit at the gate for the race. Ya ya... I know I'm evil. But believe me when I say that it would only happen once.

[Nichols Atvs]

Wishing you good luck Youll do whats right.

[newnick]

I try to focus on why theres a bad grade rather than the punishment. I also try to make sports or racing a commitment rather than a prize for good grades. Not that the grades aren't important, but it's all part of growing up. If a kid can learn what it takes to be succesfull racing or in sports, sometimes that can help them in the studies also.

[03sp500]

Brad I like that idea, and yes it's evil but effective

[aaronqjones]

Try to talk to the teachers that are teaching his failing subjects. Tell your son he is not racing until you see improvement and have the teachers contact you when a notable mark in his grades has been made.

[Predator Slim]

Had the grade issue myself, at the beginning of this school year. My son missed a lot of riding and the first month and a half of archery deer season, which was harder on me. I hate to ride or hunt alone, but school comes first...no matter what.

[i-zapp]

Originally posted by newnick
I try to focus on why theres a bad grade rather than the punishment. I also try to make sports or racing a commitment rather than a prize for good grades. Not that the grades aren't important, but it's all part of growing up. If a kid can learn what it takes to be succesfull racing or in sports, sometimes that can help them in the studies also.
i agree with newnick. but don't lose sight of WHY his grades were bad to begin with... did he not put the time into his studies that he should have, or is he just having trouble with learning?

if the first thing, then why isnt he putting time into it - because he was distracted by the quad build thing, or just falling into a lazy rut cause school doesnt interest him. if he was distracted by the build, you may want to share the blame and be lenient on his "punishment".

if it's the latter (trouble with learning) then your boy may need special help. in this case it'd be cruel to punish him by withholding racing. not saying this it, just something to think about.

[Nick's #1 Fan]

I think I-Zapp hit right on the head. We were going through the same issues with Nick. When he was at school it was always a competition to get his work done first. It didn't matter what subject he wanted to be the first one done.

My wife and I had several talks with Nick about school and how important it is and school is not a place to finish first. We even went as far as not allowing him to wear racing jerseys to school so that hopefully he would focus more on school than on racing.

Sometimes it also helps if the teacher knows that he races. Nick's teacher constatnly reminds him that he won't race if he doesn't slow down and get good grades.

So far it has worked out real well for us. The only problem that we have now is when we go out of town for races he doesn't like to do his schoolwork and he suffers when he gets back. Another topic for another time.

Let him focus on one week at a time. I tried to make it so he couldn't race until his next report card came out (My wife's idea). I couldn't handle it. I renegotiated and we review his weekly report and he only races if he has B's or better. I will allow him to have C's in some of his hard subjects, only if I am seeing improvement.

Sorry that I so long winded but I am living this same issue right now.

Hope all the info that everyone is giving is helping. It is nice to see that I am not the only one with grade issues.

Chris

[forgiven]

I am glad Brad said it first but I would have let him go like everything is all good and after practice explain the situation. I would also let MY son know that since I put so much time and effort (essentially wasted) that he would make up the time/money at my descretion.

I am more hardlined than most, but I explain to my boys that I work about 800-1000 hours of OT a year because taking care of my family is MY job. Spending the time/effort necessary to do good work in school (Not some half-hearted attempt to do the minimum) is theirs.

Obviously kids need reminders much like working folk.

JMTC

Excellent story about the sponsors btw!

[newnick]

My boy also thinks it's a race to finish his work in school, mainly so he doesn't have to do homework. I can't blame him for that, I did it too. Funny thing for him is he's in three excelerated classes which he does ok in. The class that gives him the most trouble is not excelerated, but I believe the other kids in class( his friends) are the reason he doesn't do so well. To much goofing off. He also feels not as smart in the x classes so he won't ask questions for fear of being made fun of. It's a real balancing act.

[mxdad]

I agree that you need to figure out why he is falling behind in school. Until you know this there is no real answer to the racing situation. One thing I would suggest is if he is very interested in helping with the quads then if you take a bigger interest (not trying to imply you don't now) in his school work then maybe he will as well??? Just a thought???

I am bit of a hard arse as well and my son knows flat out that if he does not try his best in school he does not race. No negotiations or waivering. No is no!!! He knows I am serious so he tries his best in school and it is paying off for him.

[03sp500]

okay update.

1-f was in penmanship I dont have that much of problem with that so much
1-f was in math which is his worse subject
the last f-was in History. this I dont get it's his best subject he really likes it. so after talking to the teacher I found out that two things gave him that F a project that he worked really hard on and did (in my opionion ) a great job was handed in 2 days late so she would not accept it, and a suprise test he was not ready for was the other problem, I feel it kind of a raw deal. other than those grades he got 3 a+'s and 2 B+'s he is in private school and they are really tough on things. We are going to get him help in Math, and going to appeal the history thing. and penmanship, well he is a 9 year boy they arent known for good writing at that age anyways( heck mine sucks)

[aaronqjones]

With knowing that, I would let him race but make him realize that school is very important and he must keep his grades up if he plans to continue racing.

[BradLoomis]

My son's biggest problem was not turning in his homework on time. It is mandatory that they do their schoolwork at the kitchen table as soon as the get home. He would have it done and then either forget it at home instead of putting it back in his backpack, or he would just forget about it and not turn it in on time. His penmanship was horrible but he is a really good artist... found out he was just racing to get it done and didn't care. I informed him that everything he does displays the respect he shows towards himself and everyone around him. If he doesn't take pride in what he does than he doesn't take pride in himself, because his name is on it. It also shows no respect for his teacher making her work harder at reading it when he couldn't even understand it when I made him re-read some stuff to me that he had just written. It also showed no respect for our family, because he represents this family, because he is in it. But then I showed him all the same things in racing, and I think he understands alittle more now... but only time will tell. If anyone else has it figured out... please let me know. Sorry it's so long... I'm done.

[mxdad]

Originally posted by 03sp500
okay update.

1-f was in penmanship I dont have that much of problem with that so much
1-f was in math which is his worse subject
the last f-was in History. this I dont get it's his best subject he really likes it. so after talking to the teacher I found out that two things gave him that F a project that he worked really hard on and did (in my opionion ) a great job was handed in 2 days late so she would not accept it, and a suprise test he was not ready for was the other problem, I feel it kind of a raw deal. other than those grades he got 3 a+'s and 2 B+'s he is in private school and they are really tough on things. We are going to get him help in Math, and going to appeal the history thing. and penmanship, well he is a 9 year boy they arent known for good writing at that age anyways( heck mine sucks)

Well I don't mean to sound harsh but it sounds to me like you are making excuses for him. It is very obvious that you really want him to race but in my opinion you need to stick to your guns about his school work. My son is also 9 and he has great penmanship when he takes his time. Like most of the others have said, he rushes and that is why it is sloppy. He learned to take his time after I made him rewrite his homework several times until I thought it was neat enough to turn in. He got sick of doing it twice so he started doing it right the first time. As for math, if it is his worst subject than he should be working twice as hard in that class. Being his worst subject still doesn't make failing acceptable. It is good that you are getting him help. As for History the teacher did the right thing by not accepting his project. If he showed up for Sunday's race on Tuesday he wouldn't be allowed to race so why should history class be any different??? I don't know about you guys but at 9 years old it seem to me like my son is finally "getting it" a little bit and at that age I would never send him mixed signals about the importance of school. Racing is great and fun but your son needs an education to survive in this world. Make sure you do not show him by your actions that racing is more important. And once again sorry if I sound harsh but like I mentioend above, I a bit of a hard arse.

[03sp500]

Adam no sweat I no where you are coming from, we to make him rewrite things over again sometimes 2-3 times and it does help, I think its in the class room that he loses point, math is tough but he will get the help he needs, and now he has to show us every day what needs to be done and we have to check off on it. this should all work.
I think the thing that switched the light bulb on in his head was really quite extrordinary and it was simple.
I made him read everyone on these posts out loud to us last night. I could see the bulb come on. He got a broken voice when it came to brads post ( me and mom laughed under our breath) Thank you all for the input, and as far as being harsh... If i didnt want to hear it I would not have posted anything on the board. I like direct and honest answers.

[mxdad]

Originally posted by 03sp500
I think the thing that switched the light bulb on in his head was really quite extrordinary and it was simple.
I made him read everyone on these posts out loud to us last night. I could see the bulb come on. He got a broken voice when it came to brads post ( me and mom laughed under our breath)

Great idea!!! Hope it all works out!!!

[Blazer25]

Don't let him ride it. I know it has to be just as hard on you not to let him ride it, but kids are impressionable. You have to instill lessons and values in them when they are young. By not letting him ride now, he will think twice before slacking on his school work in the future.

Discipline is the hardest thing to follow through with, but do it right and one little lesson now will make a big impression for the future!

[CrackerboyLV]

I know the feeling. My son (3rd grade) started the year with a 47% in history because of all of the days we spend on the road, But if he doesn't pass, he doesn't race. He still has to ride in the car for 10 Hours to watch his friends race, but we don't even let him line up or practice. He now has an 85%. We have explained to his teachers his race schedule, and remind them in advance when he will be absent. Most are good about letting him turn in his work before we leave. We are fortunate that his school posts all of his grades daily (edline.com). It is a lot of work to stay on top of it, but school comes first....

P. S. Thanks all of you. My son will be reading all of these tonight.

[born2ride14]

ASK HIS TEACHERS FOR ALOT OF EXTRA CREDIT TO BRING IT UP TO A C-