Cancer at Age 34

[CBRSLIDER]

I thought I would share the latest chapter in my life and hopefully educate someone from my mistakes. I am not here for sympathy just a chance to help someone else.

Unfortunately I was recently diagnosed with colon cancer and only being 34 it has really been a shock to me and my family. So looking over my planning and priorities in life I realized that I have made some mistakes that since I am learning the hardway, maybe I could help someone else learn from my mistakes.

I guess the first thing would be to look at your financial stability for the future of your family. The first thing I thought about when being told I had cancer was "oh my god what is my family going to do without out me financially". Proper planning would have set my family financially but other priorities clouded my vision. When I say finances, I am talking life insurance and possibly even disability insurance. I unfortunately have no additional life insurance than the meager amount my employer offers. Do your family a favor and get some life insurance. If you can afford a cell phone, a new set of rims, some aftermarket shocks, a new pipe, etc, then you can afford to get some life insurance. Think about your family and what would happen to them if you were to die....sucks to think about your own mortality but you never know when it will rear its ugly head.

Another mistake is not spending enough time with your family. I look back and eventhough I enjoyed the racing I did for 3 years, that was alot of time spent away from my family. I unfortunately became selfish about ME wanting to race and my family was not part of ME racing. I would leave to work on my quad a couple times a week, then would leave on my days off to go racing. Had a blast racing but if you can incorporate your family into your racing or even riding, then all the better. I understand we all need ME time but time not spent with your family is time lost forever. Try to make part of your ME time, family time.

I guess another thing to think about is neglecting your health. Unfortunately for me my health really didn't play a big part in my cancer. Heriditary genes played the major role in my problem. But either way, take care of yourself. Educate yourself on what has taken place in your immediate family inregards to health issues and try and cut off the problems early before they escalate into major problems. A little preventive maintenance could save you a major breakdown later.

Well hopefully a dad, granddad, a dad to be, a brother, a sister, a mom, a mom to be, got something out of what I just wrote. I hope that my mistakes can help someone from repeating my mistakes. I have always been taught to try and take something good out of everything, even from bad things. I look to take the feeling that someone took my advice and helped make their family life a little better.

Take Care,

Ray

[Regular_Joe]

I know what you mean. My 24yr old brother got killed about 6 months ago on his way to work in a car accident. He was just married 31 days before that. His wife got nothing. She wasn't on his health insurance yet, life insurance, etc. Everything went to my parents. Luckily they are very nice and paid for all the funeral bills and let her take the rest. It really makes you think. I went and changed my life insurance through work. Its like another $10 a month but now I'm covered for about $400k. More than enough for everyone to pay off the expenses, house, cars, and be able to live for a while care free while they get back on their feet again. Thats a very cheap price to pay for the comfort of knowing things will be ok in the event things go bad.

[CBRSLIDER]

Regular_Joe,

Sorry to hear about your brother. And yes it is a cheap price to know your family is taken care of if something were to happen to you. Looking back one year of premiums would have been covered by the Hiper rims I bought. Tough lessons, tough to admit, but as long as someone learns from me, that is all I can ask for.

Ray

[firefighterjosh]

Nice write up and hang in there.

My GF's uncle had 1 year to live with cancer. 6 months later the cancer started to go away by month 8 he was free of cancer. He has been free of cancer for 6 months now and goes to the doctor freakintly (sp?) to check up on it. So it is possible to fight it.

[MOFO]

Ray, after reading your post, is this terminal? Try and stay positive, I've had a few family members with cancer and its amazing what a positive attitude can do - from a medical point of view. Hang in there! :(

[quads14589]

i feel sorry for you man, my gramps had it for like 10 years and it was crazy. it just took everything outta him.

hang in there man.

tyler

[CBRSLIDER]

No not considered terminal. We don't know exactly what is going on until the surgery next week in Pittsburgh. It will be staged after the biopsy on the tumor, then we will get our game plan together. Getting ready for war.

Thanks.
Ray

[firefighterjosh]

GOOD LUCK! I wish you the Best:)

Ray -

Thank you for communicating the wisdom that only serious thinking about life can bring.

I would only add this -

Also consider what God has to say about life, and death. Read His Word, the Bible, and earnestly seek Him, and what He says, and see if it rings true. See if it doesn't put all your other wise words in perspective.

For you, I wish you the best of things. Stay positive, as a good metal attitude can do more healing than todays medicines. They have made immense advances with cancer in the last years. My wife got lymphoma at age 33, and she's doing well now (39).

And if you ever need to vent, I'm just a click away....

[jcv400ex]

Damn Ray. I about fell out of my chair when I read this. Hang tough man, good things happen to good people. Stay positive, I know you have the mental and physical toughness it takes to beat this. You know how to reach me if you need to talk. Let us know how it goes! Keep your head up!

And don't beat yourself up about the time spent racing. You needed time to unwind with a stressful job like being a officer. EVERYONE needs ME time! Your wife had volleyball, you had your fourwheeler.

Don't focus on the past, only look ahead! Mason needs someone to tell him to quit tugging on his wee wee!

[Pappy]

damn ray, not what i expected to read from you(about you)

i geuss you can take solice in the fact they caught it early, and i agree with every word you typed. im closing in on 40 and this worries me as well, the doc reminds me every visit. My dad had colon cancer, found out in 1988, died in 2004 from something unrelated, so ive had a few years to think about it.

keep your chin up, and were here for ya

[smartypants]

How did you find out you had it???

[MR.BIG]

Hang in there man and stay positive!

[Tommy 17]

:ermm: i dunno what to even say but good luck ray... my mom treats people with cancer at the altoona hospital so i hear alot of stuff from her about it... keep ur head up you'll pull thru!

[JJs450r]

sorry to hear of all the bad the guy that is doing some trim work in my house is eat up with lung cancer hes in good spirits hell hes out here working hes stopped all his bad habits and hoping for the best good luck with it man

[Ruby Soho]

hang in there man.. i had cancer when i was 9, its tough. but you can make it:(

[ATV Chic]

My prayers are with you. I've had cancer and my mom has also. It's hard but you can make it through it! I wish you the best and hope you stay strong!

[ny300exrider]

my dad had brain cancer at 40, went through radiation and chemo and now is 100% clean of it. he actually just went for his 6month mri a week ago and not a trace of anything. like everyone else said, stay positive, keep your head up, and fight it.


good luck

[MEL]

Ray, hang in there. a positive attitude goes along way when dealing with ones health. if theres anything the wife and i can do, just ask. you'll be in our thoughts and prayers. drop me a PM with your email addy.
chris

[tim colston]

Hang in there dude. You can beat it. :macho

[400exrider707]

Originally posted by jcv400ex


And don't beat yourself up about the time spent racing.

It doesn't make you a bad person cause you had hobbies! Dont worry about this, Im sure your family has spent time with you doing plenty of enjoyable things... just think about the good times spent together... and keep planning for new things... hang tough.:macho

[juanki]

stay strong through out all of this, in the end you will concer this, you are young and easely can win this..

i lost my dad just 4 months ago due to complications on his operation for colon cancer, all of that went very well, but due to his age (84) his intestins werent strong enough, and by the first meal, his intestins blew from other place and that was it.

[Quad18star]

Keep a positive attitude and you'll get through it .

I know that if they catch the cancer in it's early stages , a lot of the times they will remove the colon and the patient will then live a normal life with a colostomy . I was diagnosed with Crohn's back when I was 10 years old ... at 17 I had part of my bowel rupture and they needed to remove all of my large intestine and colon . I've lived a normal life since then ( I'm 23 now) .

[orca0294]

Good luck man and hang in there .. plan some good family vacations for the fam. I'll always remeber my family vacations. Don't beat yourself up over something you love to do - racing. Stay strong.

[blasterandy]

Man hang in there. I know you will get through this. One of my good friends mom died not to long ago. Her mom was said to have only 2yrs to live from when she was diagnosed at 34 she had a a little girl(my friend) got remarried and died at 48. 2yrs my ***. She was the life of the party all the while she knew that at anytime she could have a problem. The point i am trying to make is do what you love keep riding and holding on to your family for all there worth, that and accept God. If you have not already. All three of those things can be great immotional supports when times are rough. Your family will always be there for you and so will Jesus Christ.

[Tom TRX250R]

Nice writeup, I am truly sorry to hear about your misfortunate diagnosis but remember to stay strong and positive throughout the ordeal. I have known people to stay strong and positive and overcoming the disease. God bless and my prayers are with you.

[LTandRaptorider]

Dam, very sorry to see this. Keep your head up, and best of luck. Like you said, you are going to war. So get your warface on and beat this! I've enjoyed your posts in the past, and will in the future. :cool:

[JOEX]

Hang in there Ray. Like the others have stated, keep a positive attitude for yourself and your family.... you can win this race:)

[CBRSLIDER]

Thanks to everyone for the kind words and support. I have come to grips with this "demon" as I refer to it. I have a very strong support network in my family, friends, and work. I plan to fight my *** off to beat this. Kinda like the last lap of a race when you are in sight of the guy running in first place. You need to dig deep, deeper than ever before, if you want to win. I have too much to live for to even think of giving up.

The reason I am sharing this topic with everyone is because I knew if there was another area of support I could count on it would definately be the ATVing community. I have had some of the best times with some of you guys and look forward to throwing a leg over the trusty ol EX(once I get it back together) again. This community has shown in the past that when one of us needs that boost of support, we can always rely on a fellow rider to be there.

I figured by sharing my problem and in doing so, stir the thoughts that I opened this with, maybe somone would not make some of the mistakes that I have. I have lived a good life and plan on living a good life for many years to come. Hopefully alot more wiser.

To those that mentioned God, I applaud you. In many things we do now a days, the mention of God or religion is not always accepted with open arms. I guess that this is my wake up call to get back to the foundation of my religion that my father, my family, my teachers, and my church built for me. It has always been there for me, I was "just too busy." Now that I am in a situation to reevaluate my life, "just too busy" is a pretty lame excuse.

The heartfelt stories, prayers, and support are very much appreciated. I will be on and off the forum in the next couple days. I'm getting the finishing touches on my surgery for next week, along with tieing up some loose ends around the house. Heck I'm gonna find out on friday at my wife's sonagram(hope i spelled that right) if we are having a boy or girl. So I just wanted to say thanks. I'll be back to chat when I get a chance.

A thought to leave you with from one of my police academy instructors: "if you want peace, prepare for war." And so I am preparing.

Take Care,
Ray

[blasterandy]

Very inspiring if you ever feel like you need some support any and everyone of us are there for you.

[BGood]

Thoughts and prayers are with you. hang tough, be strong and you can and will overcome.

[coolex]

prayers are with you and good luck


howd u find out if u dont mind saying

[AbnMP13]

Good luck with it, my father-in-law fought breast cancer for three years and my uncle fought colon cancer for eight years.

[JMann2380]

Hello Ray,

I can relate to what you are going through on 2 different levels. Just 3.5 months ago I lost my girlfriend of six years to a freak blood clot in her lungs. She was completely healthy one minute, then gone a few hours later. Although we were happy and lived together for 5 years, I have some regrets also. I wish I would have married her, had kids, gave her a chance to be a mother. She did ride quads with me in the sand but I also wish I had more patience in the dirt and she could have rode there with me too. She was just 25 years old.

2 days after I buried her I got a call from my Grandparents in Missouri saying my aunt who was in the hospital the past few weeks with lung cancer and pneumonia was not going to make it through the night. So me and my Dad drove the 14 hours to Missouri to watch his sister and my aunt die and attend the our second funeral in a week. LUCKILY and by the grace of god a miracle happened, her body started fighting the pneumonia and everyday she got a little better. Three weeks later she was released from the hospital and now 6 chemo treatments later the cancer is subsiding. She is not in the clear yet but it is looking good. She was just one night away from supposedly being gone forever but somehow she pulled through. The doctor actually used the work miracle. She is just 42.

For someone, me, who has never thought about death, never knew anyone that died till Desiree (my girlfriend), never attended a funeral since I was 10 the past few months have been a HUGE wakeup call realizing my own mortality and how short life really is or can be.

I second your thoughts on life insurance also, get it, its cheap and funerals are expensive.

Ray, hang in there man, if it is meant to be it is meant to be. Either way consider yourself lucky that you will be able to say all the things you want to your family and friends, tell them how much you love them and how much they mean to you. I still wish I could tell Desiree how much I love her just one more time.

-Josh

[Camaroguy87132]

Ray, hang in there man. You'll make it out okay. If you fight hard, you'll make it. Just keep that attitude, think about your family, think about your life. As others said keep the positive attitude and you'll be fine.

Good luck with everything, and I hope you make it through. Keep us posted.

[CBRSLIDER]

Once again thanks for all the support. I have been taking it one day at a time and plan on doing so for quite awhile. It'll be a tough road but I, with the help of my support network, will make it.

Sorry for not answering the question about how I found the cancer. I was lying in bed last night and thought "duh" someone asked me how I found out and I forgot to answer it. Though it may sound sick, but I noticed blood in my stool(for some that means poop:D) I had noticed the blood back around thanksgiving and then again mid-december. I made a doctor appoint thinking the hemmeroids(sp?) had finally kicked in but obviously it wasn't the case. I remember back a couple months ago thinking that my acid reflux was really acting up in my stomach, only to find out that was the tumor. So the rest is history.

JMann2380- I'm really sorry to hear about your girlfriend. Thanks for sharing your story. God bless you and her. It's amazing how one minute things can be so normal and the next, life has been turned upside down. I see it quite often as a police officer and sometimes it really hits me hard.

Well I have to go get some shut eye. Even though I have cancer, today was a normal firewood cutting day. Keeping myself active until they say I need to slow down. Dread the thought of not being able to run my saw for months. Like not riding a quad for months. Sux!!! but in time I'll be back on both.

Take care everyone,

Ray

[duke416ex]

I am sorry to hear all of this. I hope the surgery and treatments go good and the cancer goes away. I have dealt with this in my family some and it is very hard on the entire family. I wish you and your family the best and hope you have many many more years with them.

[400exrider707]

Originally posted by JMann2380
Hello Ray,

I can relate to what you are going through on 2 different levels. Just 3.5 months ago I lost my girlfriend of six years to a freak blood clot in her lungs. She was completely healthy one minute, then gone a few hours later. Although we were happy and lived together for 5 years, I have some regrets also. I wish I would have married her, had kids, gave her a chance to be a mother. She did ride quads with me in the sand but I also wish I had more patience in the dirt and she could have rode there with me too. She was just 25 years old.

2 days after I buried her I got a call from my Grandparents in Missouri saying my aunt who was in the hospital the past few weeks with lung cancer and pneumonia was not going to make it through the night. So me and my Dad drove the 14 hours to Missouri to watch his sister and my aunt die and attend the our second funeral in a week. LUCKILY and by the grace of god a miracle happened, her body started fighting the pneumonia and everyday she got a little better. Three weeks later she was released from the hospital and now 6 chemo treatments later the cancer is subsiding. She is not in the clear yet but it is looking good. She was just one night away from supposedly being gone forever but somehow she pulled through. The doctor actually used the work miracle. She is just 42.

For someone, me, who has never thought about death, never knew anyone that died till Desiree (my girlfriend), never attended a funeral since I was 10 the past few months have been a HUGE wakeup call realizing my own mortality and how short life really is or can be.

I second your thoughts on life insurance also, get it, its cheap and funerals are expensive.

Ray, hang in there man, if it is meant to be it is meant to be. Either way consider yourself lucky that you will be able to say all the things you want to your family and friends, tell them how much you love them and how much they mean to you. I still wish I could tell Desiree how much I love her just one more time.

-Josh


Wow thats deep, and it really hit home for me. How old are you now? Glad to hear your aunt pulled through. I dont know what I would do if my gf passed away man... she's my lifeline and best freind.:ermm:

[660bigdaddy]

ray,
i don't know what to say. except i will see you in pittsburg and we can kick back and do a little bench racing and catch up on the familys. our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. i posted a note on the fridge reminding all of us in the edwards family to pray for you.
one thing is for sure, you are one tough son of a gun, and i feel sorry for the cancer, cuz i know your going to whoop it brother.
see ya soon.