Big problem

[fastyz85]

hey guys i just want to know if I'm right for doing this. okay my mom first met this guy named Mike who smoked cigarettes in february of last year. well ever since then she has started to smoke but she had been smoking outside.Lately, she's been smoking inside and making the whole house smell like cigarettes which I don't like because i personally think it smells like a mixture of pee and crap.lol, so of coarse im starting to get mad.well i've been getting fed up with it so yesterday I took her cigarettes when she wasn't looking and hid them from her.then she starts freaking out at me and i mean really freaking out at me when she finally realizes that i had took them.then she is saying that i'm a thief and how i don't care about her(after other things that we were arguing about) when really i do because i'm saving her lungs from damage, which i wouldn't be doing if i didn't care about her.then my stepdad starts yelling at me saying that i never do anything for the family and calling me a little b a s t a r d. the whole time we were fighting she was acting like a whole different person,almost like a monster,over 14 dollars worth of cigarettes compared to her life.it scared me how different she had become.so now im not talking to either one because my mom threatened to kick me out or call diphus.

the ironic thing is she said that she never liked smoking she just liked it to relieve stress from my step dad being a diabetic and in need of a kidney transplant.sounds like she is addicted to me.

sorry guys i just wanted to get your HONEST opinion on this.

[ZSNOW]

i say u did the right thing i do that all the time to my step dad so he would stop smoking.

[derekhonda]

In the end, people have to make their own decisions. If she doesn't want to quit, no amount of you hiding them or throwing them out will get her to stop, she will just go buy more and be mad at you.

If you really want her to quit, sit her down (without the step dad would probably be a good idea) and just have a civil conversation about it. Tell her your feelings, how you want her to be around in 25 years playing with grandkids, and not strapped to an oxygen tank. Good luck man.

[fastyz85]

i do sit her down and talk to her face to face but she doesn't even care how i feel cause she says its none of my buisness

[derekhonda]

well, next time she walks in the door, I would have a cig in my mouth then aswell. And also, it would be none of her business. Maybe she needs to see how it feels to sit at the other end of the situation.

[fastyz85]

yea but i don't smoke and im 14 lol.

i see what your saying though.lol

[sly400ex]

First off, it's DCFS;) So she just started to smoke a year ago after all the the years of not smoking? That's a little odd.

But you should try to talk to her about it instead of hiding her smokes on her. Let her know about the all the negative side affects that may result if she continues to smoke around you, others and herself. She may realize all the negatives about it, but why the hell would she start???:confused:

[fastyz85]

she started because of my stupid *** step dad

[JRP]

Originally posted by derekhonda
In the end, people have to make their own decisions. If she doesn't want to quit, no amount of you hiding them or throwing them out will get her to stop, she will just go buy more and be mad at you.

If you really want her to quit, sit her down (without the step dad would probably be a good idea) and just have a civil conversation about it. Tell her your feelings, how you want her to be around in 25 years playing with grandkids, and not strapped to an oxygen tank. Good luck man.

couldnt of said it better myself! My mom has been smoking since she was 13, sot hats like 31 years! I have talked to her about it, and nothing will stop her:o Its her decision but i dunno, i told her its going to kill her and she dosent care:( SMOKING is a baddd thing!

[killerofcrows48]

I would write one bad thing cigarettes do to you on a little post-it note and make a bunch of them, then hang them inside of cabinets, refrigerator etc.

[450rcrazy022692]

That would really piss me off, expcially your step dad butting in on it its not his problem and it was your mother before his wife. I would hide his cigs not to help him jsut to piss him off then be like i am a little ******* arent i.

My friends older brother beat up his step father becuase he smacked him when he was a argueing with him mom he was 18 and was absolutly huge and the cops came it was a whole big thing in the end he got divorced, left with a broken jaw/nose and a few less teeth and didn't press charges....not saying you should do that but its jsut a lil story

[fastyz85]

thanks ill keep that in mind:devil: .i know me and him used to be cool but now idk.

well like the other people said, when your mom walks in, have a beer can open and a cig in your mouth (dont light it) and just be like oh hey whats up mom? and act totally normal, and if she says anything, just say its none of her business and tell her you are an addict now, and make her feel really bad, it could work. i like the post-it idea. put post its on the fridge, closets, bed sheets, bed, etc etc etc and put like facts on cig's, like how many people die from it every year, how much it costs for a year if you smoke a pack aday, what it can do to ur lungs, etc...thats a real good idea. im glad my dad stopped smoking when i was like 4. he knew if he kept smoking it would have a bad effect on me and my bro so he stopped, and he said it was easy for him...he just had to completly forget about them

[fastyz85]

im glad it worked for you dude.i think im gonna try the beer and cig idea and post its.lol

[knighttime]

Originally posted by fastyz85
im glad it worked for you dude.i think im gonna try the beer and cig idea and post its.lol

haha, your gonna get into trouble.

but there are things that you are better off not getting involved in. live and let live. someone who smokes cant quit w/o withdrawal symptoms, it takes some time.

[krt400ex]

u did the right thing dude....just try to let her scream and don't scream back because that wouldn't be good...if u gotta vent find a good friend to talk to instead of yelling at them...trust me, i have had experience with yelling at my parents and chit....just try to be cool and let her think she is getting her point acrossed to u.

[fastyz85]

i just hate it becuase she thinks that she's always right and never thinks that it might actually affect me.o and i love this forum thats why i asked you guys too.i did ask my best bud too though.

[Villageidiott23]

seriously man its 2007 you would have to be a complete moron not to realize what cigs do to ur health. ur mom knows damn well cigs are bad. so telling her that they are bad isnt gonna change anything or she wouldev already quit. sometimes tough love is all you can resort to. ur 14 so at this point there isnt much you can do about it and that sucks. it sounds to me like shes already addicted so you can continue to try to make it stop. or just get the hell outta there when your older.

[fastyz85]

true

[TRX_450]

my parents are the same way....smoked inside for so many year til i got bronchitous and was hospitalized because of their smoking in the house, gave them a scare and now they smoke outisde but id do anything just to see them quit, but like some people said...in the end people will make their own decisions

[honda4life72]

if i had a step dad and he started yellin at me and callin me names ....i fight em ..might not be right but thats the way i am ..not tellign u to but just my opnion:D

[ZSNOW]

my mom stopped on her own(making her own desicion) and then we just kept begging and begging my dad to stop and they have both stopped smoking along with my moms boyfriend who have all been smoke free for almost 4 years..the docters say my dads lungs are very healthy for a person who smoked for 2 years

[krt400ex]

Originally posted by honda4life72
if i had a step dad and he started yellin at me and callin me names ....i fight em ..might not be right but thats the way i am ..not tellign u to but just my opnion:D


yea..i agree...but only if it is ur step dad...not blood relation. its a little different...not easy to explain though

[Ritthjp]

it's her house so I guess she gets to do what she wants :) I don't smoke anymore, and I didn't smoke in the house, but if my kids took my smokes, i woulda beat their ***** :)

[bulkdriverlp]

you did the wrong thing. you obviously havent got many replys from smokers. ive smoked 22years and thats one thing you dont do. what you can do and i know your working on it, is talk to her about smoking outside again that you dont appreciate smelling the smoke. if that doesnt work, then i guess move out if you dont like it because she is paying the payments on the house.

[rmz250]

Originally posted by Ritthjp
it's her house so I guess she gets to do what she wants :) I don't smoke anymore, and I didn't smoke in the house, but if my kids took my smokes, i woulda beat their ***** :)

Why the cigs mean that much to you?

[ZSNOW]

if my parents ever touched me(since i am bigger then both now) i would kick there *** and be gone quicker then they could say my whole name

[Rider-trx_250ex]

ya, hiding the cigs won't work, it will only encourage them to go and get more. Is this mike guy ur step-dad? if so he had no right calling u a b*st*rd. You need to call him out on this and tell him that you don't appreciate him talking to you like that and to not talk to you this way again, but in a good way. And with your mothers smoking, if she doesn't listen to you then you have to be more assertive, tell her that her that every ciggerate she smokes takes 7 minutes from her life and 3 minutes from second hand smokers, i.e. you. Tell her you want to live your live to the fullest and can't with her taking precious time from your life are going to move out. Then go stay at a friends house for a couple of days, or a relative's house if they don't mind and just give them like 5 bucks a day just for keeping you. This may encourage her to try to stop smoking.

EDIT: when i said move out for a couple of days i meant to just go stay someplace else for like 2 or 3 days then go back home, seeing the effect it had on your mom you not being there.

[PolarisRider06]

Originally posted by bulkdriverlp
you did the wrong thing. you obviously havent got many replys from smokers. ive smoked 22years and thats one thing you dont do. what you can do and i know your working on it, is talk to her about smoking outside again that you dont appreciate smelling the smoke. if that doesnt work, then i guess move out if you dont like it because she is paying the payments on the house.

i'm with him on that one. i've only smoked for 6 months or so off and on... used to be just for the buzz but now i dont know why i do it, not addicted cause i can go for 4-5 days without a cig but yeah... taking the smokes will just make them go buy more and probably by the carton and then they will just keep some hidden everywhere so they always have some or they will find some other way to keep them away from you.

but like Bulkdriverlp said talk to them about smoking outside again and use reasons other than just health issues though, like what would non smoking company think when they come over and the house stinks and how it makes all your clothes and everything smell bad so everyone thinks that you smoke.

if they still dont listen since your only 14 you cant really move out BUT do you have a tent? if you have a tent and some good sleeping bags, and blankets you can sleep comfortably outside even when its freezing out... run an extension cord out for a powerstrip and plug in a radio, tv and playstation and you'll be living comfortably...

oh and the cigarette in the mouth idea is a great one... lol... seriously i'd do it, you could even light it just dont puff on it, just have it lit sitting in an ashtray next to you while your watching tv when she walks in if she says anything say its non of her d*mn bussiness. if your stepdad walks in tell him off and tell him he's the ******* cause now your getting hooked and he's gonna have to support your habbit now to not just his own.

[PolarisRider06]

oh yeah.... that last part... just a joke... dont do it, bad idea. unless you like getting into trouble...

[ilpadrino113]

Prolly just talking to her and being sincere and letting her know that you don't liek it or whatever would definitely have been better for both of you than just nabbin her cigs.

[fastyz85]

i understand the smoking and non smoking sides and have talked to her many times face to face about it.she doesn't give a rats*** how i feel just as long as she gets the buzz.thats y i don't know what to do.

[fastyz85]

i understand the smoking and non smoking sides and have talked to her many times face to face about it.she doesn't give a rats*** how i feel just as long as she gets the buzz.thats y i don't know what to do.

[fastyz85]

i understand the smoking and non smoking sides and have talked to her many times face to face about it.she doesn't give a rats*** how i feel just as long as she gets the buzz.thats y i don't know what to do.

[krt400ex]

Originally posted by fastyz85
i understand the smoking and non smoking sides and have talked to her many times face to face about it.she doesn't give a rats*** how i feel just as long as she gets the buzz.thats y i don't know what to do.


then give her the buz...so much so that she can't handle it and wants to quite...my mom used to be a coke addict and 1 night she got crazy for some...she had too much and thought she was gonna die...that was the end...she never had anymore...and that after yrs of using

[mxdad]

I know a lot of you are young and will dissagree with this but I will say it anyways. Your mother has spent the last 14 years raising you and if she wants to smoke a cig then she can. It is great that you are concerned for her health but this is a free country and she is an adult and can make her own choices. You do not have the right to steal from her or disrespect her because you don't like what she is doing. If it bothers you then go outside or in your room while they are smoking but you really just need to get over it and move on. There are lots of things in this world that are dangerous including drinking, driving a car, riding a quad or motorcycle, etc... but we all do it everyday and take the chance becasue it is what we want to do. If she wants to smoke, she will and you fighting with her about it is only going to hurt your relationship with her in the long run. So don't start smoking in front or her or drinking, just get over it and try to enjoy the time you have with your mom. Some people don't get that chance and to waste it fighting over cigs is ridiculous. Ands remember you can not help peiople that do not want your help. Sorry if this is harsh in anyway but it is true.

By the way, I smoked 2 packs of Marlboro reds a day for over 15 years and quit cold turkey one day. Not because someone wanted me to but because I wanted to. Maybe in time she will get over it, maybe not but it is her right to do what she wants with her body.

[krt400ex]

Ravens suck

[krt400ex]

relax dude...

and the kid has the right to try to hange his moms mind too...im assuming that u smoke? smoking is not healthy to the body and it is not a good thing to do....


ravens still suck though

[redracing88]

i kinda know how you feel about the hole step dad changin your mom. i would tell him to ...k off and were you live in jersy just wondering maybe we could ride to get some of the stupid **** off you mind.

[fastyz85]

im in mullica twsp.new jersey but you being in pa is a little far.lol.i actually have relatives in bethlehem which is like 5 minutes from easton so you never know.

[norton]

you should stuff her cigg full of bad mary jane and it would prob get her freaked out and quit or get her hooked

[trick250r]

im sorry, but i dont care who my mom found... if they told me off in a case like that, id make sure that son of a b**ch never came back... then id make my mom realize that if she wants to keep using the cancer sticks, that im not coming to her funeral when she dies of lung cancer and she can find someone else to make the arrangements. thats what i did (minus the telling off the stepdad.) ... my mom stopped right then

[bigbadbubba]

tell her everytime she smokes a cigrette say "your a f***ing C*nt" and when she yells at you say why? and when she says because i dont want to you , you say i want you to stop buy you dont see that happening. :)

[Doober]

hmm ive heard if you put a human hair in a cigarette it will get the smoker sicker than a dog....just what i have heard:devil:

[norton]

yeah and everyone else around her

[norton]

yeah and everyone else around her

[ShiftFMX]

My mom smoked cigs since she was a teenager. About 8 years ago she asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I asked her to stop smoking. She quit cold turkey on my birthday. I thought that was the best birthday present I ever got! She Claims she did it because her dad smoked...he died in 1990, in his early 50's.

Heres some post it note Ideas...

Lung cancer has now surpassed breast cancer as the leading cause of cancer deaths among women.

Smoking causes 20% (or 1 in 5) of all deaths in the United States each year.

Smoking is the single largest preventable cause of premature death and disability in the United States.

Every year, 350,000 Americans die prematurely from diseases caused by cigarette smoking -- such as lung cancer, emphysema, and coronary heart disease.

Nicotine addiction is the "most widespread example of drug dependence in our country," according to the U.S. Public Health Service.

Three-quarters of the adults who currently smoke started their habit before the age of 21; teenage years are critical ones in the habituation of cigarette smokers.

Nine out of ten smokers say they want to quit.

The number of Americans who have quit smoking is rising steadily. To date, 36 million Americans have quit smoking.

Smoking accounts for 85-90 percent of emphysema mortality in America. Once a disease that affected exclusively men, one in four emphysema deaths now occurs among women.

Lung cancer, already the number one cause of cancer mortality in American men, in 1986 surpassed breast cancer as the leading cancer of American women.

In 1985 lung cancer killed an estimated 38,600 women -- approximately 84 percent of the 46,000 women who were diagnosed with the disease that year.

Smokers who have a heart attack have less chance for survival than a person who does not smoke. And by continuing to smoke after a heart attack, the person’s chance for a second attack increases.

Smoking has severe economic consequences for the nation, estimated at a staggering $53.7 billion in total annual costs. Direct costs account for $30.4 billion of the total; there is an additional annual cost of $23.3 billion in lost productivity due to excess morbidity and mortality.

Smoking is a major risk factor for peripheral vascular disease. This disease is a narrowing of blood vessels that carry blood to the leg and arm muscles. If a blood clot blocks an already narrowed artery, then the result could be the damage or even the loss of an arm or leg.

It is estimated that 8,200 (19.8%) of the deaths in Washington state in 1997 were attributable to smoking.

[krt400ex]

after reading that....i don't want anything to o with cigs....never ever.

[fastyz85]

thanks shift those were some nice facts. with those facts why would anyone ever smoke cigs,its so stupid,whatever its not my life.

[400exMO]

Originally posted by mxdad
I know a lot of you are young and will dissagree with this but I will say it anyways. Your mother has spent the last 14 years raising you and if she wants to smoke a cig then she can. It is great that you are concerned for her health but this is a free country and she is an adult and can make her own choices. You do not have the right to steal from her or disrespect her because you don't like what she is doing. If it bothers you then go outside or in your room while they are smoking but you really just need to get over it and move on. There are lots of things in this world that are dangerous including drinking, driving a car, riding a quad or motorcycle, etc... but we all do it everyday and take the chance becasue it is what we want to do. If she wants to smoke, she will and you fighting with her about it is only going to hurt your relationship with her in the long run. So don't start smoking in front or her or drinking, just get over it and try to enjoy the time you have with your mom. Some people don't get that chance and to waste it fighting over cigs is ridiculous. Ands remember you can not help peiople that do not want your help. Sorry if this is harsh in anyway but it is true.

By the way, I smoked 2 packs of Marlboro reds a day for over 15 years and quit cold turkey one day. Not because someone wanted me to but because I wanted to. Maybe in time she will get over it, maybe not but it is her right to do what she wants with her body.
completely agree.

My mom raised me and has spent obscene amounts of time and money into me for me to be as disrespectful to steal from her. If she did smoke I would talk to her about it and try to change her mind. But until you have been addicted to nicotine you really have no room to talk about quitting. You will never fully understand until you are or have been hooked.
But on the other hand if my stepdad called me a ******* it'd be the same scenario that 450rcrazy022692 told about his friends older brother. He should never disrespect you like that.
Funny thing about him calling you a ******* is he called you a "person born of unmarried parents." Turn that around on him because that's kind of like calling your mom a whore.

My only advice is to talk to your mom, tell her from the heart. If that does not work leave for a while. Stay with some family for a week and I guarentee she will call you begging you to come home.