a funny joke

[juanki]

not many times i recive jokes in english, here in my home town lives a lady named sharon, a good friend of mine, she's been living here for a while, becasue her husband played for the local baseball team, he played also with the braves in his good years, his name jerry cryder, he played with bobby cox. and they stayed here because liked so much.

sorry for the intro. here's the joke

The Pastor's ***
> The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
> The pastor was so
> pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the
> race again, and it
> won again.
>
> The local paper read:
>
> PASTOR'S *** OUT FRONT
>
> The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity
> that he ordered the
> pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The
> next day, the local
> paper headline read:
>
> BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ***.
>
> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the
> pastor to get rid of
> the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun
> in a nearby convent.
>
> The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the
> following headline the
> next day:
>
>
>
> NUN HAS BEST *** IN TOWN.
>
> The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she
> would have to get
> rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for
> $10. The next day the
> paper read:
>
>
>
> NUN SELLS *** FOR $10
>
> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the
> nun to buy back
> the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could
> run wild. The next
> day the headlines read:
>
> NUN ANNOUNCES HER *** IS WILD AND FREE
>
> The bishop was buried the next day.
>
> The moral of the story is....being concerned about
> public opinion can
> bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten
> your life. So be
> yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about
> everyone else's *** and
> you'll be a
> lot happier and live longer!
>
>
>
> Have a nice day!

[trick250r]

hahaha LMAO

[juanki]

here is another one

>Three kids are in school...
>A white, a black, and a Mexican kid. The teacher
tells them to make a
>sentence with the words liver and cheese.
>
>White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese
sandwich and it was
sooo
>good."
>
>Black kid says: "My daddy told my momma to go get the
Government
cheese and
>she didn't, so my daddy punched her in the liver."
>
>Mexican kid says: "Some kids were trying to look
under my sister's
dress
>and I told the cabrones, "Hey!!! Liver alone, cheese
my sister!
>

[CRich[814]]

lqtm for both. awesome.

[killerofcrows48]

haha pretty funny jokes! :p

[atvRiDa400ex]

Originally posted by juanki
here is another one

>Three kids are in school...
>A white, a black, and a Mexican kid. The teacher
tells them to make a
>sentence with the words liver and cheese.
>
>White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese
sandwich and it was
sooo
>good."
>
>Black kid says: "My daddy told my momma to go get the
Government
cheese and
>she didn't, so my daddy punched her in the liver."
>
>Mexican kid says: "Some kids were trying to look
under my sister's
dress
>and I told the cabrones, "Hey!!! Liver alone, cheese
my sister!
>

aaaaahahahahahahaha Liver alone, cheese
my sister!
hahahahaha

[mach1stang]

i got one to

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE
black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at
him looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20-inch private, 3-pound
left testicle, 3-pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and
brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?" In a
weak voice, the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you
the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I
weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20-inch private, my left testicle weighs 3
pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...Oh Man! I thought you said, 'Turn
around'!"

[quadracer707]

The Last one now thats freakin funny

[ATV Chic]

All three are great lol rofl:D

[trick250r]

cmon guys keep em coming... those are funny as hell lmao.

[400EXtreme]

Having Mom over for dinner

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the
meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's
roommate, Stephanie, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a
relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more
curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she
started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the
eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must
be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't
suppose she took it, do you?"
Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure.
So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mom:
I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not
saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that
one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Brian

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie, I'm not saying that you
"do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if Stephanie was
sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom

[killerofcrows48]

dang that last one was funnnnnny!!!

[ATV Chic]

Do not open if you have a weak stomach





A police officer sent this to me. It is not for the
faint-hearted. If you have a weak stomach, then
don't click on the link. It is a picture of a suicide jumper
taken shortly after he landed. His insides are on
the outside. The look of horror on the bystanders'
faces is the reason I believe this is real.

http://home.att.net/~songs2/Jumper.jpg

[coolex]

Originally posted by killerofcrows48
dang that last one was funnnnnny!!!


clever

so superman is flying around the world when he notices wonder woman sunbathing nude on a beach...superman thinks to himself "wow i would love to go down and get me some of that", but then thinks to himself "no i can't"..."that would be like rape or something"..."but man she looks good" so he goes back and forth with himself for a little while....then he says "hey i'm superman i can do whatever i want, and besides i would be so fast she wouldn't even know it was me"...so he does it...he fly's down there so fast he's in and out so fast, that wonder woman sits up and says "what was that?".....and the invisible man jumps off of her and says "i don't know, but my a-hole is killing me!!" :devil:

[Blue_Streak23]

Originally posted by dlerch
so superman is flying around the world when he notices wonder woman sunbathing nude on a beach...superman thinks to himself "wow i would love to go down and get me some of that", but then thinks to himself "no i can't"..."that would be like rape or something"..."but man she looks good" so he goes back and forth with himself for a little while....then he says "hey i'm superman i can do whatever i want, and besides i would be so fast she wouldn't even know it was me"...so he does it...he fly's down there so fast he's in and out so fast, that wonder woman sits up and says "what was that?".....and the invisible man jumps off of her and says "i don't know, but my a-hole is killing me!!" :devil:

Sick, twisted, yet soo funny...:D