insaneracin2003
05-26-2006, 07:56 AM
Southernness
>>
>> Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
>> conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
>> _____
>>
>> Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
>> peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
>> _____
>>
>> Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
>> "yonder."
>> _____
>>
>> Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going
>> to town, be back directly."
>> _____
>>
>> Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
>> the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in
>> the middle of the table.
>> _____
>>
>> All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
>> the term, but they know the concept well.
>> _____
>>
>> Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for
>> a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big
>> bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis,
>> they also know to add a large banana puddin!
>> _____
>>
>> Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
>> "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1
>> mile or 20.
>> _____
>>
>> Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
>> redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
>> _____
>>
>> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
>> signal is actually going to make a turn.
>> _____
>>
>> A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
>> adverb.
>> _____
>>
>> Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when
>> we're "in line," ... we talk to everybody!
>> _____
>>
>> Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
>> related, even if only by marriage.
>> _____
>>
>> In the South, y'all is singular, ..... all y'all is plural.
>> _____
>>
>> Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
>> _____
>>
>> Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
>> perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
>> that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
>> _____
>>
>> When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
>> are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
>> _____
>>
>> Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
>> indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
>> unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
>> _____
>>
>> And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
>> ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"
>> ... and go your own way.
>> _____
>>
>> To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
>> Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
>> morning. Bless your heart!
>> _____
>> And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
>> this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to
>> have classes on Southernness as a second language!
>> _____
>>
>> And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
>> time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I
>> ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
>> ____
>> SOUTHERN WOMEN
>>
>> Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
>> Clean skin.
>> A winning smile.
>> That unforgettable Southern drawl.
>>
>> Southern women know their manners:
>> "Yes, ma'am."
>> "Yes, sir."
>> "Why, no, Billy!"
>>
>> Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
>> "Y'all come back!"
>> "Well, bless your heart."
>> "Drop by when you can."
>> "How's your Momma?"
>>
>>
>> Southern women know their summer weather report:
>> Humidity
>> Humidity
>> Humidity
>>
>> Southern women know their vacation spots:
>> The beach
>> The beach
>> The beach
>>
>> Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
>> Colorful hi-heel sandals
>> Strapless sun dresses
>> Iced sweet tea with mint
>>
>> Southern women know everybody's first name:
>> Honey
>> Darlin'
>> Shugah
>>
>> Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
>> Fried Green Tomatoes
>> Driving Miss Daisy
>> Steel Magnolias
>> Gone With The Wind
>>
>> Southern women know their religions:
>> Baptist
>> Methodist
>> Football
>>
>> Southern women know their country breakfasts:
>> Red-eye gravy
>> Grits
>> Eggs
>> ! Country ham
>> Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
>>
>> Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
>> Charleston (Chawl'stn)
>> Savannah (S'vanah)
>> Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)
>> New Orleans (N'awlins)
>> Atlanta (Addlanna)
>>
>> Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
>> Men in uniform.
>> Men in tuxedos
>> Rhett Butler, of course!
>>
>> Southern girls know their prime real estate:
>> The Mall
>> The Country Club
>> The Beauty Salon
>>
>> Southern girls know the four deadly sins:
>> Having bad hair and nails
>> Having bad manners
>> Cooking bad food
>> Wearing too much makeup in the summer
>>
>> Southern girls know men may come and go,but friends are fahevah!
>>
>> Now...... Shugah, send this to some girls who were raised in the South or
>> wish they had been!
>>
>> If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
>> We know you got here as fast as you could.....!!!
>>
>> Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
>> conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
>> _____
>>
>> Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
>> peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
>> _____
>>
>> Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
>> "yonder."
>> _____
>>
>> Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going
>> to town, be back directly."
>> _____
>>
>> Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
>> the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in
>> the middle of the table.
>> _____
>>
>> All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
>> the term, but they know the concept well.
>> _____
>>
>> Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for
>> a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big
>> bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis,
>> they also know to add a large banana puddin!
>> _____
>>
>> Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
>> "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1
>> mile or 20.
>> _____
>>
>> Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
>> redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
>> _____
>>
>> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
>> signal is actually going to make a turn.
>> _____
>>
>> A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
>> adverb.
>> _____
>>
>> Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when
>> we're "in line," ... we talk to everybody!
>> _____
>>
>> Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
>> related, even if only by marriage.
>> _____
>>
>> In the South, y'all is singular, ..... all y'all is plural.
>> _____
>>
>> Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
>> _____
>>
>> Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
>> perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
>> that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
>> _____
>>
>> When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
>> are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
>> _____
>>
>> Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
>> indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
>> unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
>> _____
>>
>> And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
>> ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"
>> ... and go your own way.
>> _____
>>
>> To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
>> Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
>> morning. Bless your heart!
>> _____
>> And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
>> this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to
>> have classes on Southernness as a second language!
>> _____
>>
>> And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
>> time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I
>> ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
>> ____
>> SOUTHERN WOMEN
>>
>> Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
>> Clean skin.
>> A winning smile.
>> That unforgettable Southern drawl.
>>
>> Southern women know their manners:
>> "Yes, ma'am."
>> "Yes, sir."
>> "Why, no, Billy!"
>>
>> Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
>> "Y'all come back!"
>> "Well, bless your heart."
>> "Drop by when you can."
>> "How's your Momma?"
>>
>>
>> Southern women know their summer weather report:
>> Humidity
>> Humidity
>> Humidity
>>
>> Southern women know their vacation spots:
>> The beach
>> The beach
>> The beach
>>
>> Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
>> Colorful hi-heel sandals
>> Strapless sun dresses
>> Iced sweet tea with mint
>>
>> Southern women know everybody's first name:
>> Honey
>> Darlin'
>> Shugah
>>
>> Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
>> Fried Green Tomatoes
>> Driving Miss Daisy
>> Steel Magnolias
>> Gone With The Wind
>>
>> Southern women know their religions:
>> Baptist
>> Methodist
>> Football
>>
>> Southern women know their country breakfasts:
>> Red-eye gravy
>> Grits
>> Eggs
>> ! Country ham
>> Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
>>
>> Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
>> Charleston (Chawl'stn)
>> Savannah (S'vanah)
>> Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)
>> New Orleans (N'awlins)
>> Atlanta (Addlanna)
>>
>> Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
>> Men in uniform.
>> Men in tuxedos
>> Rhett Butler, of course!
>>
>> Southern girls know their prime real estate:
>> The Mall
>> The Country Club
>> The Beauty Salon
>>
>> Southern girls know the four deadly sins:
>> Having bad hair and nails
>> Having bad manners
>> Cooking bad food
>> Wearing too much makeup in the summer
>>
>> Southern girls know men may come and go,but friends are fahevah!
>>
>> Now...... Shugah, send this to some girls who were raised in the South or
>> wish they had been!
>>
>> If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
>> We know you got here as fast as you could.....!!!