Chuck Norris

[TGW_400ex]

Hey did you know the cheif export of Chuck Norris is pain?

[harescrambles]

Pain is just weakness leaving the body

[250xdude]

When the boogyman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for chuck norris

[400exrules]

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he's never cried


Chuck Norris has never blinked, ever!

[exrider008]

WTF:huh

[450robot]

chuck norris went back in time to save jfk from being shot in the head

when the gun was fired, chuck jumped in front of the bullet, deflecting it with his beard

jfk was so amazed his head exploded

[MOFO]

Originally posted by exrider008
WTF:huh


Chuck Norris breaks the legs of people who say "WTF"...

[400exrules]

Chuck Norris built a cloning machine so he could clone himself, and see if he could kick his own asss, when he did this, the second ice age happened

[derekhonda]

chuck norris can touch mc hammer

[kawasaki_ridah]

chuck norris once built a fire with a magnifing glass.... at night.

Chuck norris can un scramble an egg

Chuck Norris counted to infintini....twice

[kamikaze_rzrbak]

A teenage girl recently asked Chuck Norris what he was going to do with all that junk inside his trunk. He then proceeded to roundhouse kick her in the ovaries, and caused the abortion of all fetuses worldwide.

[user101]

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

[4oorider]

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer .


Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won

When the movie Pulp Fiction was filmed they had to borrow Chuck Norris's wallet... It's the one that says "Bad Mother ******" on it

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.

Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting

They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.


The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down


When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

i got so many more, these are just my favorite

[PunkA$$]

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... Suicide.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will f%c* you up.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

It used to be called the Tower of Pisa…until Chuck Norris decided to roundhouse kick the s#!t out of it

[Nick110]

Chuck Norris does not have a chin behind his beard only another fist.



Chuck Norris does not have pubes he has a sack beard....




these are my alltime favorits.:blah:

[dangle]

Clint Eastwood would kill Chuck Norris....


Mike

[250xdude]

Originally posted by dangle
Clint Eastwood would kill Chuck Norris....


Mike

Chuck Norris kills people that say Clint Eastwood would kill Chuck Norris.

[PunkA$$]

Originally posted by dangle
Clint Eastwood would kill Chuck Norris....
Mike
.

[HondaRacer300ex]

chuck norris has tabasco sauce as a drink

Who is to say who is chuck norris, who is he??? And im not joking.

[o4250]

Chuck Norris didn't lose his virginity, virginity lost Chuck Norris.

[FoxRacing81]

At night, when you pray to God, Chuck Norris listens. When you are finished, he roundhouse kicks you to the face for believing in God, and not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' wife once burnt the turkey for Thanksgiving Dinner. Chuck Norris ran outside, and in 30 minutes, came back with a fully live turkey. He swallowed it whole, and in 3 seconds, he threw back up a fully cooked turkey with cranberry sauce. When Chuck Norris' wife asked him how he did that, he roundhouse kicked her to the face and said "No one questions Chuck Norris."

-Justin

[PunkA$$]

Originally posted by banshee91
Who is to say who is chuck norris, who is he??? And im not joking.
:eek2:

[exrider008]

Originally posted by banshee91
Who is to say who is chuck norris, who is he??? And im not joking. :eek2: :eek2: :eek2: how do u not know who he is. :huh

[250xdude]

Originally posted by banshee91
Who is to say who is chuck norris, who is he??? And im not joking.


He is everything, be afraid!

http://totalworkout.homestead.com/files/chuck2.jpg

[FoxRacing81]

Chuck Norris is only the most badass man alive.



Chuck Norris once ate a 72 oz steak in 1 hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress.

[exrider008]

Originally posted by Punk*****
:eek2:

HAHAHAHAHAHAH:D

[FoxRacing81]

:eek2:

[FoxRacing81]

The Guniess Book of World Records has tons of records. However, if you read on the last page of the book, you will read this.
"All of the records in this book are actually held by Chuck Norris. These are just the closest anyone has ever come to beating them."

[250xdude]

Don't play

http://www.fantasfilm.com/image/d-chuck-norris-x.jpg

[ZeroLogic]

Originally posted by banshee91
Who is to say who is chuck norris, who is he??? And im not joking.

Walker, Texas Ranger anyone?

[dangle]

I've met chuck norris.... no bull****... They filmed in front of my aunt's house like 10 years ago....


Mike

[knighttime]

Originally posted by dangle
I've met chuck norris.... no bull****... They filmed in front of my aunt's house like 10 years ago....


Mike

did he give you a roundhouse kick to the side of the head:confused:

[Mxjunkie]

http://www.celebritynumerology.com/images/photo/Chuck_Norris.jpg

[brandon34r]

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris


chuck norris knows a wrong way to eat a reese's

[kawasaki_ridah]

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to can his urine and sell it to the public as a drink we now know that drink as red bull

[onefast400ex]

When Chuck Norris is doing push ups, hes pushing the earth down.
Chuck Norris takes a whole bottle of sleeping pill and they make him barely blink.

[brink400]

Chuck Norris does not wear sun block, the sun wears chuck block.

[trick250r]

chuck norris once stood on the tip of his erect penis for 5 hours

a blind man once stepped on chuck norris's foot. chuck norris asked him " do you know who i am? im chuck norris!" the mere mention of his name cured the man's blindness. chuck norris then roundhouse kicked him in the face, killing him instantly. this is recorded as the worst mistake in history... ever

on the set of walker texas ranger, chuck norris brought a baby sheep back to life by giving it a beard rub. he then roundhouse kicked it, killing it upon impact. chuck norris then said, chuck norris giveth, chuck norris taketh

if chuck norris is late, time better slow the **** down

chuck norris artificially impregnated 20 women by shooting his sperm like bullets, after a vigourous maturbation session... from 100 yards away

if you cant see chuck norris he can see you. if you can see chuck norris, you are only seconds away from death

chuck norris orders a whopper at McDonalds... and got it

after eating a big mac at McDonalds, chuck norris went to the company office. upon arrival, he went to the CEO's secretary and roundhouse kicked her in the stomach, spilling her intestines on the floor. he then proceed to make the CEO eat them... this is now a delecasy in some countries and can be found on the McDonalds menu as the McNorris

chuck norris is currently suing NBC for stealing the names of his two legs... law and order

chuck norris lost his virginity before his father

the delivery doctor tried to pull out chuck norris by his full grown beard. chuck norris roundhouse kicked him and delivered himself, by roundhouse kicking his way out of the womb

[FoxRacing81]

Chuck Norris once shot down a German Fighter plane by simply pointing his finger towards it and yelling "Bang!"

[PismoLocal]

i love chick norris threads they are one of the funnyest things on this sight.

[Mxjunkie]

Chuck Norris went to the porn convention and a man bumped into him, apoun this time Chuck Norris did a round penis kick with his boner instantly killing the man.

[400exrules]

Chuck Norris can make a woman orgasm by simply pointing at her and saying "Boo-yah!"

Chuck Norris wasnt born, he punched his way of the womb


Chuck Norris doesnt sleep.......he waits

God won't give Chuck Norris a soul until Chuck Norris gives God his underwear back

[extremeblastr]

o yea well chuck norris can slam a revolving door

if the flash and superman raced around the world who would win? chuck norris of course

chuck norris can take #2 standing up

outerspace only exists because its afraid to be on the same planet as chuck norris

[user101]

...

[user101]

,,,

[PunkA$$]

Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas on the 25th.

Originally posted by Mxjunkie
Chuck Norris went to the porn convention and a man bumped into him, apoun this time Chuck Norris did a round penis kick with his boner instantly killing the man. Chuck Norris doesn't get boners, he gets tree trunks.

[stocktires]

I wonder wtf Chuck Norris thinks about all these jokes

[huntr08]

f***in chuck norris, i won that dodgeball tournament.

[Smokin 440]

The only thing more lethal than Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick is his mushroom slap...

[Jakeyracer]

cuck norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head

we only have daytime cuz the sun can only hide from chuck norris for 14hours at a time

chuck norris is like tabasco even the tiniest bit of either will knock you on your @$$

even bears hide from chuck norris ,we know this as hibernation

chuck norris killed a blind man for looking at him funny

eating steak gives chuck norris energy which causes him to sweat bullets which he uses to kill cow that he makes the steak from we know this as the circle of life

just a few i know all the rest have aready been said:blah:

[TGW_400ex]

Haha my thread blew up.

[FoxRacing81]

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.


Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

[TCracin440ex]

chuck
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v282/elijscott/90b4d5ae.gif

[knighttime]

Originally posted by PismoLocal
i love chick norris threads they are one of the funnyest things on this sight.

:macho

When Chuck Norris goes in the water, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chuck Norris.

[TGW_400ex]

Chuck Norris can baked 30 minute brownies in 10 minutes.

When Chuck Norris goes diving, the sharks are the ones in the cages.

[jc250r31]

Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong had a "who has more balls" Contest.........Chuck Norris won by 5

[user101]

Originally posted by jc250r31
Chuck Norris and Lance Armstrong had a "who has more balls" Contest.........Chuck Norris won by 5

...and then he roundhouse kicked lance armstrong in the face.

[EvilJester400EX]

Vin Diesel walked down the street with an erection...

there were no survivors.

[Evana13]

Originally posted by EvilJester400EX
Vin Diesel walked down the street with an erection...

there were no survivors.

because chuck norris round house kicked them all in the face.:macho

[knighttime]

the real reason the USA is a superpower::confused:



its not the nukes :confused:
















its because of Chuck Norris


:macho

[zeppelin]

most of all the good ones have been posted but..
chuck norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves

what goes through the minds of chuck victim right before they die? chucks foot

chuck norris doesnt belive in germany

[TGW_400ex]

Chuck Norris once started a fire with a magnifying glass at night.

[raptor146]

helen keller is a prime example of what happens to ppl when chuck norris takes it easy on them.

ill whoop chuck norris' ***

Hitler did not commit suicide, he was infact tea-bagged(potato sacked) by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the **** out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

[Scott-300ex]

Ok, this is NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sittin in the library readin this and there are people all around me and your supposed to be quiet cuz its a library.

I AM DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO NOT BUST OUT LAUGHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm closin my mouth, bitin my teeth, but damn I want to L.M.A.O.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got to leave. So I can finish this thread in private.

[Plante400]

when chuck norris does a push up, he isnt pushing himself up, hes pushing down the world

[PunkA$$]

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

[trick250r]

chuck norris once contracted EVERY STD known to man, just to show that STD's are for pussies :devil:

OK, are you guys like him or are you makeing fun of him?

[derekhonda]

Originally posted by banshee91
OK, are you guys like him or are you makeing fun of him?

Make....fun.....of.........Chuck Norris?

I would be afraid if I were you.......

Originally posted by banshee91
OK, are you guys like him or are you makeing fun of him? You suck at forming sentances.

[huntr08]

Originally posted by MXFourTwoEight
You suck at forming sentances.

You suck at spelling.

[PismoLocal]

This thread should be made a sticky. lol

[ballz2thewall]

Superman was unbeatable until chuck norris was born and this is what happend:macho

[knighttime]

Originally posted by banshee91
OK, are you guys like him or are you makeing fun of him?

if you are asking if we are thinking of making fun of him, Im only gonna answer that that is the dumbest question I have ever heard of.

You prolly should expect a roundhouse kick to side of the head, lol

:scary:

Originally posted by huntr08
You suck at spelling. No I don't.

In an interview, a reporter once called Chuck Norris "Charlie". He was never seen or heard from again.

Originally posted by MXFourTwoEight
You suck at forming sentances.

I was not trying to form a good sentence. Go and get your grandma to get you another dirtbike for a treat.

Originally posted by banshee91
I was not trying to form a good sentence. Go and get your grandma to get you another dirtbike for a treat. I already have plenty, good suggestion though.

Originally posted by MXFourTwoEight
I already have plenty, good suggestion though. :


I wish i was that lucky:(

[exboy]

chuck norris uses tabasco for visene

chuck norris was banned rom competitve bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

Most people fear the reaper Chuck Norris considers him "a promising rookie".

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a resturant. The steak did what it was told.

[zeppelin]

Originally posted by knighttime
if you are asking if we are thinking of making fun of him, Im only gonna answer that that is the dumbest question I have ever heard of.

You prolly should expect a roundhouse kick to side of the head, lol

:scary:

i think he was talking about the joke posted right before him about std's. it almost sounds like they are calling chuck a *****

[knighttime]

Originally posted by zeppelin
it almost sounds like they are calling chuck a *****


that would be about the dumbest thing anyone could do:uhoh:




:macho

[Warnerade]

Originally posted by banshee91
:


I wish i was that lucky:( why is it as soon as someone tries to make fun of someone...the topic of them being spoiled is usualy the first to be brought up just becuase someone else gave thema gift?

is it your business how he got his stuff? no...get a job and quit *****ing about what other people have.

[exboy]

Originally posted by NacsRacer027
why is it as soon as someone tries to make fun of someone...the topic of them being spoiled is usualy the first to be brought up just becuase someone else gave thema gift?

is it your business how he got his stuff? no...get a job and quit *****ing about what other people have.

foreal. he might be the best kid in the world and diserve all he gets for all we know.

[Warnerade]

Originally posted by ballz2thewall
Superman was unbeatable until chuck norris was born and this is what happend:macho and i hope your ealixe tht is very far from funny. In fact, I lost every bit of the respect i did not have for you before just for saying that.

you, are an *******.

Originally posted by exboy
foreal. he might be the best kid in the world and diserve all he gets for all we know. I'm not a spoiled brat like little pole smoker makes me out to be. I'm on the Distinguished Honor Role, have to be to be able to race, I take care of all the bikes, do all the maintnence, i've been in trouble maybe twice in my whole life, I work damn hard to be able to race and have nice stuff. I get rewarded with that stuff, not spoiled with it.


Banshee91, he makes threads about him stealing stuff and drinking at 14. Good kid, good kid.

[TheFontMaster]

Alright enough with the arguing, lets get back to the Chuck Norris jokes.:macho :macho

I think all the chuck norris jokes have already been posted. but this is funny

The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff.
He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night.
She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the boss approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like sh*t."

[Warnerade]

Originally posted by MXFourTwoEight
I think all the chuck norris jokes have already been posted. but this is funny

The boss was in a quandary; he had to get rid of one of his staff.
He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night.
She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the boss approached her and said, "Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you jack off? I feel like sh*t." you could have atleast gace credit to me...the finder...your such a jerk!

I would like to thank Mr. Warner for the fabulous joke posted above. Good night.

[exboy]

Chuck Norris knows where waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris always knows the exact location of Carmen Sandiago

Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talking about

[redmanracer]

God wanted 10 days to create the earth, but chuck norris gave him 6

I was working today, ( I work at a ski resort, snowboard instructor) and I was just walking around because there was a big Burton demo today and the announcer is like "come to the tent to see Chuck Norris" He kept talking about Chuck Norris hah

Originally posted by MXFourTwoEight
I'm not a spoiled brat like little pole smoker makes me out to be. I'm on the Distinguished Honor Role, have to be to be able to race, I take care of all the bikes, do all the maintnence, i've been in trouble maybe twice in my whole life, I work damn hard to be able to race and have nice stuff. I get rewarded with that stuff, not spoiled with it.


Banshee91, he makes threads about him stealing stuff and drinking at 14. Good kid, good kid. \


When have i made one about stealing?? stop makeing **** up.

If your talking about the post i made in the what is the worst thing you have dont thread it was nothing to the other stuff, it was 2 lawn mores from a bush that were smashed and broken.

Originally posted by banshee91
If your talking about the post i made in the what is the worst thing you have dont thread it was nothing to the other stuff, it was 2 lawn mores from a bush that were smashed and broken. Yea, you stole them. Just drop it. Stop being a ***** to me about being spoiled. We can have an e-truce.

Originally posted by MXFourTwoEight
Yea, you stole them. Just drop it. Stop being a ***** to me about being spoiled. We can have an e-truce.

Sounds good.

[LTandRaptorider]

And the world breathes a collective sigh of relief as peace ensues between the United States and Canada... :p

However, Chuck Norris still has a roundhouse kick to the head reserved for you guys... ;) :blah:

Originally posted by LTandRaptorider
And the world breathes a collective sigh of relief as peace ensues between the United States and Canada... :p

However, Chuck Norris still has a roundhouse kick to the head reserved for you guys... ;) :blah: I know, you can all feel better when you go to sleep tonight:)

[exboy]

when Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

Chuck Norris uses a live rattle snake for a condom.

[BlasterEaten250]

:chinese:

[400exrider33]

chuck norris isnt hung like a horse. horses are hung like chuck norris

[FoxRacing81]

God said let there be light!, Chuck Norris said say please.

[exboy]

Originally posted by FoxRacing81
God said let there be light!, Chuck Norris said say please.

God wanted 10 days to make earth, Chuck Norris gave him six.

[exrider008]

lil somthin somthin i made

http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx


bad ***

[coolex]

he doesnt just give round house kicks to the face he also knows how to read and write books

[troutman561]

Lol, all these jokes about God being scared of chuck norris.. in real life I think he is a christian lol, kinda funny...

[TGW_400ex]

Chuck Norris has halo 2

Chuck Nor12is

[Warnerade]

:o

http://tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a590/a590.gif

[quads14589]

yaaaaaaaaa!!!!

[450Racer]

"I know the let down of Walker being over will be very emotionally hard on me, just as it did when I retired as a fighter, but I did not stop doing my Martial Arts when I retired and I will not stop acting like Walker when it is over." -Chuck Norris

:huh

[knighttime]

Originally posted by 450Racer
"I know the let down of Walker being over will be very emotionally hard on me, just as it did when I retired as a fighter, but I did not stop doing my Martial Arts when I retired and I will not stop acting like Walker when it is over." -Chuck Norris

:huh

thats not what Chuck Norris said. He said he will not quit acting now that walker is over.

If you dont believe me check out his websitehttp://www.chucknorris.com/html/farewell_letter.html

:macho

[450Racer]

Originally posted by knighttime
thats not what Chuck Norris said. He said he will not quit acting now that walker is over.

If you dont believe me check out his websitehttp://www.chucknorris.com/html/farewell_letter.html

:macho

ohh. my bad. i read over that too quick. that would've been funny though huh?

[knighttime]

Originally posted by 450Racer
ohh. my bad. i read over that too quick. that would've been funny though huh?

yeah it would have been funny, and you prolly are somewhat correct in Chuck Norris' thinking. although a real life Chuck Norris is more bad-asz than Walker, Texas Ranger :macho

[L & L Racing]

haha how the hell could a thread get so big on chuck norris lol

[huntr08]

easy, its f***in chuck norris:devil:

[exrider008]

Originally posted by L & L Racing
haha how the hell could a thread get so big on chuck norris lol

chuck norris kill's people that say that.

[watts16]

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

[watts16]

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is




Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Chuck Norris invented fire, by roundhouse kicking two people together at an incredibly fast rate.

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with Napalm.

Chuck Norris' favorite smell is that of his opponents soiled pants.

The number of toothless people in trailer parks isn't evidence of poor dentistry. It's further evidence that Chuck Norris just doesn't have much use for people in trailer parks.

Chuck Norris was once watching the movie "Bambi" with his five year old son. When the lovable Bambi was shot, his son began to cry. Chuck stood up, and in a fit of rage yelled, "Chuck Norris doesn't raise pussies. Do I have to round house kick you back into your mother's womb?" After his son shook his head, Chuck sat back down on the couch. Just when everything seemed calm, he executed one of his infamous no look punches on his son and then yelled, "Sneak attack, *****."

There is no problem of overpopulation on Earth, cause we all know the solution is Chuck Norris.

[watts16]

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

[BLEEDRED]

In case this wasn't already posted:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

[Punk'd]

When Chuck Norris jumps in the water.. Chuck Norris doesnt get the water, The water gets Chuck Norris.