divorce

[m_townsgreatest]

Ok so heres the deal. Mom came home at about 11 tonite screamin that she's going to divorce my dad. She cried on my shoulder and it took everything I had to be strong and not cry with her. Well then dad came home. They started yelling at each other. They yelled for about an hour or so then my mom stormed out and left. Then about 15 minutes laterr my dad stormed out. I dont know if he was going to get my mom or going to the bar or what.
But this is really hard on me and i think my parents might actually get a divorce. They've been married for almost 21 years and have faught about 3 times in the last year or so. But this time my mom was balling and swore she was divorcing my dad.

WHAT CAN I DO?

[Mxjunkie]

When it happened to me I was happy but my mom is a drunk and beat on me my entire life.. All I can say is its not AS bad as you might think. It sounds huge but it's really just one parent lives in another house and another lives in theirs. I know how it is tough when parents fight, mine did everynight you get used to it when it happens that much belive me. Just keep your head up about it. Your of age to see who you can stay with (your mom or dad) Just have your parents sit down and talk to them.

if you need to talk hit me up on aim, s.n is in the sig

[nowukno]

My parents got divorced when i was around 14. It's hard at first but time heels everything. After awhile they will move on and be just fine and so will you. But hopefully your parents will work things out.

[pastfast125]

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but divorces can reallly suck for you. My parents went through a divorce, and it was really hard on me. What I think you should do, is sit down with each of them individually..Have a serious discussion. Say mom, what's dad doing that is making you upset, do the same with ur pops. After that, help them both to change what they are doing.

The divorce can really suck, cuz you stay with one parent more than the other...Then you feel bad about that, then if you ask to spend more time with the other parent, then you feel bad for your other parent. It' just a bad situation that's better to avoid. Just try to help them both figure this out.

Good luck.

[300exOH]

All you can do is just what you are doing...be there for them. These things happen. You could maybe suggest they see a marriage counselor(sp). The best thing you can do is to not take sides and lend an ear when they need it.

[knighttime]

i wish my parents did get divorced, it sucked with them together when i was younger.

What I'm sayin is dont let that get you down. If they are causing a big chaotic situation (which seems like they are) try not to let it get you down. It will work out, but think of yourself. Try not to get caught in the cross-fire.:ermm:


:bandit:

[knighttime]

Originally posted by 300exOH
All you can do is just what you are doing...be there for them. These things happen. You could maybe suggest they see a marriage counselor(sp). The best thing you can do is to not take sides and lend an ear when they need it.

why lend an ear, this young man is caught in a situation beyond his control. I say take sides and do what you want.:macho

[300exOH]

Originally posted by knighttime
why lend an ear, this young man is caught in a situation beyond his control. I say take sides and do what you want.:macho

I agree. It is beyond his control but it sounds like his parents are coming to him with their problems anyhow.

[knighttime]

Originally posted by 300exOH
I agree. It is beyond his control but it sounds like his parents are coming to him with their problems anyhow.

they should go elsewhere. it is too much for him(anyone in his/her situation) to solve their marital problems. the parents should take their problems to the pro's or get a f'n divorce. save the crying for someone who cares. this young guy has his whole life ahead of him. why should he have to get involved in a soap opera situation:confused:

[300exOH]

Originally posted by knighttime
they should go elsewhere. it is too much for him(anyone in his/her situation) to solve their marital problems. the parents should take their problems to the pro's or get a f'n divorce. save the crying for someone who cares. this young guy has his whole life ahead of him. why should he have to get involved in a soap opera situation:confused:

Well I can't argue with that. They really should talk to someone else but he shouldn't turn them away when they come to him with a problem. That's what family is for. The truth is there is nothing he can really do to stop them from divorcing but I'm sure he doesn't want one parent upset with him for taking sides.

[knighttime]

Originally posted by 300exOH
The truth is there is nothing he can really do to stop them from divorcing but I'm sure he doesn't want one parent upset with him for taking sides.

for them to put him in that situation is :cuss:

[LTZ400rider]

you will find that your life will be alot funner when you only have one parent in the house

[pastfast125]

^^ all depends how it ends up. Not that way for me. laso depends which parent you end up with.

[Giz400ex]

Originally posted by m_townsgreatest
They've been married for almost 21 years and have faught about 3 times in the last year or so. But this time my mom was balling and swore she was divorcing my dad.

WHAT CAN I DO? 3 times in the past year isn't bad! What are they fighting about?? (don't have to answer, none of my business but its so I could understand the seriousness)

[m_townsgreatest]

well first off my mom didnt come to me with anything. She came in the door and I could tell she was upset. She told me not to be sad and its not because of me and all that ****. But I cant just sit around while my mom is in tears. So I went to her to see what was wrong.

giz400ex.... idk what has been happenin all my mom would tell is that its not something that just happened but it has been happenin over a long period of time.

[Racing Rice]

Sorry to hear about your parents man. I know what it is like growing up in a house where your parents are constantly arguing. Thats pretty much all my childhood was. I just tried to stay out of it, if at all possible. My dad drove truck (still does) and use to be gone all week, then they would argue all weekend. I looked forward to him going back out just so things would be quiet again.

My parents were able to work through thier problems though, and are still together so I can't really comment on the whole divorce process because I haven't really been that far. The fighting was bad enough, and I know what it is like having one parent home (most of the time.)

One thing to remember is, try not to take sides. Both of your parents love you. If you take sides and deny one of them, then later you could really regret the time that you missed. As I'm getting older and am now married, I miss all of those things I could have done with my dad and wish we could have done a lot more. We do have a pretty good relationship now that I am out of the house and on my own.

Charish the time you can get, it only comes once. I hope things work out for you.

[400grl]

One other thing to remember is - adults say alot of things when they are fighting or angry that they don't necessarily mean - and with your parents being married for so long....it's easy to talk about getting a divorce, but much much different to actually split up.

So I'd say right now......baby steps. Don't worry too much about it (I know, it's hard not to) until you know that it's definately going to happen - and that is usually when one parent actually moves out........

Even if it's something as big as cheating, that can be worked out if your parents are willing to work on it.........

And if they do wind up splitting up, you have this forum and alot of other resources out there to help you get through it.......ultimately - if your mom and dad are happy it is eventually a better situation for everyone......

Good luck!

[Honda TRX250ex]

When my parents fight i just stay out of it. I walk out and go to someones house. I say dont get into it. My parents fight everyday like screaming and name calling. My mom moved out once for about 5 years. Than she moved back about 6 months ago. Now shes moving back out. I dont get parents.
I would say don't get into the fight just leave and let them fight.

[RidinRed420]

You can't do anything. Your parents are adults and they have problems that they need to work out on their own.

If they get divorced all I can say is "That'll happen." My parents got divorced. My friends parents got divorced, as a matter of fact I can only think of 2 people whos parents are still together. Its a sad truth, but in the US, 60% of marriages end in divorce...

My advice is:
Don't take sides. They are bother your parents and if they try to "buy" your love graciously accept the gifts, but remind them that doesn't make you love them any more, than your other parent.

Don't listen to them when they are arguing. If they are arguing tell them to go in their car and argue. You don't need to deal with their problems. Not to meantion the will likely be saying things that they do not mean, to intentionally hurt each other. And you don't need to deal with that.

Talk to a someone if you need to. Its alot of stress to deal with divorce... and it helps to just let it all out! Even if they don't get divorced, it seems like they are putting alot of stress on you and you should talk to someone at school. Don't be ashamed, divorce is never fun, especially for the kids involved. Believe me, my parents went through a MESSY divorce.. Left both of them broke and homeless and me living with my boyfriend, to graduate high school.

P.S. Just remember your parents love you and no matter what happens between them is not your fault... Its easy to think its your fault, but in reality NO teenager has the power to rip apart a loving marriage...

Originally posted by Mxjunkie
When it happened to me I was happy but my mom is a drunk and beat on me my entire life.. All I can say is its not AS bad as you might think. It sounds huge but it's really just one parent lives in another house and another lives in theirs. I know how it is tough when parents fight, mine did everynight you get used to it when it happens that much belive me. Just keep your head up about it. Your of age to see who you can stay with (your mom or dad) Just have your parents sit down and talk to them.

if you need to talk hit me up on aim, s.n is in the sig

my parents are the same way, but it's my dad that drinks alot, but they are good parents, just fight so much, can't believe they havn't got a divorce already, really sucks, was gonna go to my friends tonight, they started screamin and stuff, so i stayed home, it sucks when this sh*T happens in ur life

[Pappy]

hell, my ol' lady said she was leaving 3 times this week:eek: :p


dont worry yourself, you cant do anything about it so just kick back and LEARN what not to do when you pick a wife.

[m_townsgreatest]

well i thought everything was ok with them then tonite I heard my mom telling my brother that they are splittin everything....

[Eddiesanders250]

they will probably work things out. married for 21 years, thats a long time. theyve made it that far im pretty sure they will not give up.