I need some advice

[Pappy]

One of cody's friends died this morning. He was 12 years old, and was struck and killed while crossing the road to get to the bus stop.

I dont really know what to say to him:(

[wilkin250r]

How close was this "friend"?

Somebody who knew his name?

Somebody that has been over once or twice?

Somebody that comes over frequently?

[450r51]

i had a close friend of mine die over the summer, he killed himself. it was hard for a couple weeks, especially at his wake. my parents tried to say something i just said i need to be myself. and they let me.

[Robin Hood]

Sorry to hear that Pappy, I haven't had any really close friends of mine die so I wouldn't know what to say...

Hope everything turns out fine though..:(

[ZeroLogic]

im sorry to hear that just keep his mind off of it

riding quads is a good way to clear your mind cause you are consentrating on hill jumps burms turns and terrain. mabey introduce him into some new hobbies also

[Titanium]

When one of my best friends dad died me an my friend (ugottabayou) hung out with him alot jus to keep his mind off it. we rode 4 wheelers, went jet ski-ing etc. it took a while but he got over it. sry about this even happenin to you it must be hard. thankfully i havn't lost any friends by death.

[DAB516]

I think it is important to be honest with him and to let him know the truth. If this was a very close friend then he may need to specail attention from a counselor. The school should have special counselor available for event like this. Also sometimes words aren't even needed just being there for him may be enough and guide him through it. BTW I'm am very sorry

[Hondadudeehhhh]

a girl in my school died when i was in 4th grade and i was too young to understand really what death is. Im assuming cody is too young to really understand what it is too. We lost a student this year (killed himself) and the way all of us students coped with it was just have eachother. Make sure he is hanging out with his friends, keeping him up beat and happy. It also may depend on how good of friends they were, if they were best buddies he may need to see the school counselor so they can evaluate him to see how it will affect him.

I am so sad to hear this, the kid and his family will be in my prayers for the holidays

[buddha440ex]

Just explain to him that everything happens for a reason...there really isnt a whole lot you can say in this subject..its hard to overcome...ive lost 2 good friends in the past year...

[wvspeedfreak]

What is Cody's reaction to this?I take it he is pretty upset or you wouldn't be asking what to say to him.If it was a close friend and he is pretty torn up about it,I would just explain what happened and why it happened and possibly even use it as an example of something he should be extra aware of in the future(such as being extra,extra careful at the bus stop).I don't know,stuff like that is hard to deal with.Sorry to hear about it :(

[TheFontMaster]

I would just let him have his space over the next couple days. He's a smart kid I would imagine he knows what went on. I almost lost someone very close to me over the summer, my ex, but we are still really good friends. I know if it wasn't for me being there she most likley woundn't be here today. Be suportive of what he wants to do. If he wants to ride let him go till he quits etc.

[Robin Hood]

Originally posted by ZeroLogic
im sorry to hear that just keep his mind off of it

riding quads is a good way to clear your mind cause you are consentrating on hill jumps burms turns and terrain. mabey introduce him into some new hobbies also

Yeah, I'd say one of the best things to do is try to keep him occupied. Maybe take him out on a riding trip somewhere, or out to his favorite place to eat or something.

[Honda TRX250ex]

aww im sorry to hear that pappy. last year a girl and her family died in a fire and the school was shocked. it was the sadest day that i have ever lived. just talked to him about it and ask him if hes ok and things and tell him thats your there for him if he needs it.
sorry pappy:(

[Pappy]

Originally posted by wvspeedfreak
What is Cody's reaction to this?I take it he is pretty upset or you wouldn't be asking what to say to him.

he is handling it ok i geuss, he will open up and talk, then cry, then talk like everything is fine. typical grief i geuss.

he was not best friends with this young man, but last year he made friends with him and they pal'd around all year. they were split this year in different classes so they were not as close, but it is his first expeirence with dealing with the death of a person his own age.

they had counselors at school today, but i dont think he spoke with anyone. he sucked it up and did his school work. i am sure he will be fine etc, its just tough trying to tell him anything seeing im still having tons of trouble dealing with my fathers death from last year.

i feel terrible for the childs family, it happened infront of his 2 siblings and thier grandmother. the police say they figure he just ran out in front of the car as the bus approached and got nailed and was thrown into the east bound lane and run over again:ermm: its too cold for them to get the blood out of the road so for the forseeable future it stands as a stark reminder that life will teach you who is boss at any moment

[watts16]

weve lost 5 students during this school year. 3 in a car crash and 2 collided each other on the road on dirtbikes with out helmets. our school has stuck it out and all the teachers helped us through the losses. RIP :(

[Robin Hood]

Originally posted by Pappy


i feel terrible for the childs family, it happened infront of his 2 siblings and thier grandmother. the police say they figure he just ran out in front of the car as the bus approached and got nailed and was thrown into the east bound lane and run over again:ermm: its too cold for them to get the blood out of the road so for the forseeable future it stands as a stark reminder that life will teach you who is boss at any moment

Thats pretty sad man.. :(

[hondardr4life]

That is very sad, when people close to me die, I just kinda like to be left alone, and do stuff with friends, and stuff that I enjoy, to kinda keep my mind off of it. It's not the best method, but it works for me. I have never had a friend my age die though, and I hope that it never happens. 2 years ago, 8 kids in my high school died from car accidents, the whole school was a wreck. My school tends to have bad luck with cars..

[Honda TRX250ex]

Originally posted by hondardr4life
That is very sad, when people close to me die, I just kinda like to be left alone, and do stuff with friends, and stuff that I enjoy, to kinda keep my mind off of it. It's not the best method, but it works for me. I have never had a friend my age die though, and I hope that it never happens. 2 years ago, 8 kids in my high school died from car accidents, the whole school was a wreck. My school tends to have bad luck with cars..
your not the only school with bad luck with cars a couple years ago we have 10 kids die in care wrecks

just tell him its ok to cry pappy

[trx400exat00]

id say give him space but if he needs to be held or u know be with him and try ur hardest to see if he wants to do things like go ride or go places with u .. help u with things and etc im sure he will come around. i alost had 3 of my close friends die last year but they were driving were the one kids older brothers friend who liked to show off when he drives and he was doing 90 down a 4 lane road in town and he slammed into the back of a suv and flipped over and the side of that car slid into a telephone pole . luckyily everyone was okay but i was really torn up and i just let my fists fly onto the back board of my bead :ermm:

[Aceman]

What a terrible tragedy....with his family standing right there as it happens.:( I would probably stand there paralyzed with shock if I saw a family member hit by a car and then ran over. Makes you want to give your own kids a hug and never let go when you hear about something like that. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost my daughter.....kids are so precious.

[fasterblaster09]

Well I really couldnt'd tell you what to tell him..if there's anything at all.I say just give him his space. RIP :ermm:

[86350x]

Originally posted by Pappy
One of cody's friends died this morning. He was 12 years old, and was struck and killed while crossing the road to get to the bus stop.

I dont really know what to say to him:(

I went through this when I was in school also. Just ask him how he's doing. The offer to take him riding, do something together. Try to make em feel happy.

I'm not a very emotional person. Nor was I really as a kid. But that is my honest best advice. Just say "hey how would you like to go for a ride" or something along the lines of that.

[QuadJunkies]

Originally posted by Pappy
he is handling it ok i geuss, he will open up and talk, then cry, then talk like everything is fine. typical grief i geuss.

he was not best friends with this young man, but last year he made friends with him and they pal'd around all year. they were split this year in different classes so they were not as close, but it is his first expeirence with dealing with the death of a person his own age.

they had counselors at school today, but i dont think he spoke with anyone. he sucked it up and did his school work. i am sure he will be fine etc, its just tough trying to tell him anything seeing im still having tons of trouble dealing with my fathers death from last year.

i feel terrible for the childs family, it happened infront of his 2 siblings and thier grandmother. the police say they figure he just ran out in front of the car as the bus approached and got nailed and was thrown into the east bound lane and run over again:ermm: its too cold for them to get the blood out of the road so for the forseeable future it stands as a stark reminder that life will teach you who is boss at any moment

My VERY best freind since Middle school,her 4 year old son was hit my a Semi and well.... Im sure you can image how horrific that was!! He died instantly but his two older Brothers witnessed the whole thing and those boys were so messed up for a very long time :( they had nightmares and issues in school . I hope the parents make sure there kids get plenty of counseling they are gonna need it!! I hate to hear this kind of news

God bless

[Disaster]

Deaths are horrible i know i had one of my friends died on his 8th grade graduation in a dunebuggy accident .. I sucked it up too but i really wish my dad would have maybe asked more about it .. IT was horrible then my other friend died in 11 th grade 2 years ago when he was working on his truck in the garage but i talked alot more and talking seemed to help

[400EX QUADER]

geeeez... that really sucks about the blood on the road not bein able to be cleaned up cause it's too cold... that just makes me sick to my stomach. These kind of things really suck and it's just life. The worst thing is that part of his family had to his horrible death. Like these other people have been sayin, take him on a ride somewhere that he really enjoys and just show him that it's gonna be ok even though his friend is gone.:(

[Guy400]

Kenny, I don't think there's anything you can say that will take Cody's grief away. All you can do is be there for him when he feels he wants to open up about it. When I was in 3rd grade my class had a movie day ("Where the Red Fern Grows"--I still remember??) and when we were done we all took turns taking the TV back to the A/V room. Back in those days the TV's were atop those 5' carts and there were no straps. A very good friend of mine took her turn taking the TV back and she wheeled it out into the hallway and when she hit a steel floor seperator the TV rocked and fell off. It crushed her head and killed her instantly. We all heard the glass break and ran out into the hallway and all I can remember is seeing Laura's skull smashed and blood all over the floor.

Just keep his day-to-day routine the same and listen when he wants to talk.

[mxdad]

Wow Kenny this is a tough one. I lost some friends when I was in school and it was tough. I would try to sit him down and talk to him. Explain to him that you are there for him when he is ready to talk and talk to him about how you felt when your dad passed away. It will help him to realize that he is not alone and that it is ok to grieve. While I agree about giving him space I would keep an eye on him to watch for signs of depression. Keeping him busy is a good idea as well. He is still young and he is one tough kid so he will be ok in the long run but make sure you spend a little extra time with him in the near future and make sure he realizes that it is ok to cry, grieve, be angry, etc... and that even his dad isn't too tough to cry, grieve, etc.. when someone dies. Most kids think their dad's are the toughest guys they know so him knowing that even you aren't above crying, etc... will help him realize that he is not alone and that he can get though this. Hope it all works out for you. We will keep them all in our prayers.

[WOracing]

ok this stuff really pisses me off... last year my neighbors were getting on the bus and after the bus driver waved the kids over (10 and 8) a car came flying around the other car right towards the kids! luckily they got out of the way in time. and ive read so many stories of kids getting struck by cars while crossing over to the bus. come to find out the guy was drunk and he was accused of dwi and vehicular something (i forget what they called it) pappy what happened with the guy that hit the kid? im sorry if it was already posted i didnt read the whole thread. was the guy sober or not? or did he just ignore the lights and keep going?

[Pappy]

the child ran out into the road, neither driver was at fault.

[Honda TRX250ex]

hows he doing pappy?

[Pappy]

doing better. he said once all the grief counselors stopped getting everyone all stirred up the issue died down.

[Toadz400]

That's horrible, especially since it happened to someone so young. Just let Cody deal with it how he wants to deal with it..

Our school has dealt with 11 car accident deaths over the past few years.

School bus drivers also need to pay closer attention to the kids and location of other vehicles. One year I was almost hit by a car getting off the bus, it was icy and the car couldn't stop - so instead of going into the ditch he decided to speed up and go around the bus...even though I was walking across. Some people just don't have the decency to care about the life of someone else, as long as it saves them the trouble of having to get out of a ditch.