Chuck Norris

[Ridin' Jesse]

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php

Random Chuck Norris Facts...on the bottom is the top 30 facts..funniest things i have ever read

[(T) (L) (U)]

lol

[Hondadudeehhhh]

chuck norris is the man. my buddy's band wrote a song dedicated to walker texas ranger

[derekhonda]

There also is Vin Diesel and Mr. T

[Ridin' Jesse]

Originally posted by derekhonda
There also is Vin Diesel and Mr. T

You just defied Chuck Norris. Prepare your self for a roundhouse kick to the face.

[4oorider]

"f 'n Chuck Norris" :dodgeball

http://img276.echo.cx/img276/1461/wtr2zx.gif

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. 1359 8.15
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 983 8.06
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. 342 7.7
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 1579 7.7
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 1361 7.65
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. 319 7.65
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. 1339 7.57
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 1544 7.53
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf. 1402 7.5
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. 826 7.49
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 1703 7.46
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. 1378 7.44
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. 1578 7.43
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 701 7.43
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya". 1327 7.35
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. 1665 7.33
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris 711 7.28
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. 631 7.28
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." 694 7.27
Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife. 1675 7.25
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. 503 7.23
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger, it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris round house kicked in the face that day. 1068 7.22
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris." 1568 7.22
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Indian. 326 7.21
Chuck Norris cloned himself just to see if he could kick his own ***. The result was the second ice age. 90 7.21
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. 777 7.19
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane". 1634 7.19
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist. 725 7.19
Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas 696 7.19
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

[z400roosteR]

.............it was more randomly Gay, then randomly funny

[derekhonda]

i actually laughed at most of those, i love them...especially the playing cards every second wednesday with the devil.

[Ridin' Jesse]

Originally posted by z400roosteR
.............it was more randomly Gay, then randomly funny

You didnt need to reply then. Go Away.

If you were trying to be funny to, that was the gayest thing ive ever heard.

[Warnerade]

today on my math exam, i was doing pretty good, so i just crossed out the last problem, wrote in "who is your favorite super hero" for the last problem...and i answered it with "chuck norris, becuase he can divide by zero":o

[Ridin' Jesse]

haha thats great

[jackson15]

amazing. :eek2:

[SGA]

Those are really good! :D

[z400roosteR]

Originally posted by Ridin' Jesse
You didnt need to reply then. Go Away.

If you were trying to be funny to, that was the gayest thing ive ever heard.
Did i strike a nerve on the founder of the chuck norris fan club?:eek2: My apoligies, i'll leave the thread.

[bluebaron]

That was more gay then africa and asia combined

[Loser450]

That's hilarious... I put one in my sig... :D

[Ridin' Jesse]

Originally posted by z400roosteR
Did i strike a nerve on the founder of the chuck norris fan club?:eek2: My apoligies, i'll leave the thread.

No you just dont have do be a dick and bash threads if you dont like them...if you dont like it just dont say anything.

[trx400exat00]

chuck norris is a joke! lol

[SRH]

ive said this for year, chuck norris is the man

Originally posted by bluebaron
That was more gay then africa and asia combined That might have been the worst attempt to be funny i've ever seen.

Originally posted by trx400exat00
chuck norris is a joke! lol Chuck Norris will pwn you.

[FoxRacing81]

Chuck Norris > You.

[Dan_Guetter]

Chuck Norris = American

And if you don't like that, you can get out!!

hahaha

[fasterblaster09]

lmao those are great

[Atkins]

http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=groups.groupProfile&groupID=101615822&Mytoken=B0BFC79E-F71A-44CE-A72C395249AC3C841147982437

[Honda TRX250ex]

When Chuck Norris gives a thumbs up, it means that his penis is now erect.
:ermm:

[Ridin' Jesse]

Originally posted by Honda TRX250ex
When Chuck Norris gives a thumbs up, it means that his penis is now erect.
:ermm:

Wtf was that?:confused: :rolleyes:

[Honda TRX250ex]

Originally posted by Ridin' Jesse
Wtf was that?:confused: :rolleyes:
thats what i was woundering
thats what it said

[hondaracer305]

Chuck Norris is my hero

[Mxjunkie]

Steve and Dan are my heros, true americans..:bandit:

They pwn chuck norris any day of the week, that red haired red beareded fairy

[Honda TRX250ex]

Originally posted by Mxjunkie69
Steve and Dan are my heros, true americans..:bandit:

They pwn chuck norris any day of the week, that red haired red beareded fairy
rofl

[Atkins]

Originally posted by Mxjunkie69
Steve and Dan are my heros, true americans..:bandit:

They pwn chuck norris any day of the week, that red haired red beareded fairy

http://www.hereinreality.com/funnystuff/otherstuff/brownnose.jpg :blah: