stace609
11-07-2005, 04:09 PM
Jeff Foxworthy On Pittsburgh
If you consider it a sport to sit in a tree stand all day long with a bow or
a gun just to put food in your freezer.. you might live in Pittsburgh.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year
because Bradford is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in
Pittsburgh.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might
live in Pittsburgh.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year,
you might live in Pittsburgh.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you
might live in Pittsburgh; because you're all so damn friendly.
If you have ever worn shorts, sunglasses and a parka at the same time, you
might live in Pittsburgh.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, or if you are in
church and your priest or minister asks you to pray for the STEELERS, and
wants to get you all home for 1 p.m. kickoff you might live in Pittsburgh.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you might live in Pittsburgh.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Pittsburgher when:
1. "Vacation" means going up north past I-80 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events including weddings.
7. You install security ligh ts on your house and garage and leave all the
doors unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost fall, winter, still winter and road
construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a concrete statue of a deer next to
your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means MORGANTOWN WV.
16. You find '0' degrees "a little chilly."
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his NEW FORD F150.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday and bingo every Wedne sday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
Pittsburgh friends
If you consider it a sport to sit in a tree stand all day long with a bow or
a gun just to put food in your freezer.. you might live in Pittsburgh.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year
because Bradford is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in
Pittsburgh.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might
live in Pittsburgh.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year,
you might live in Pittsburgh.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you
might live in Pittsburgh; because you're all so damn friendly.
If you have ever worn shorts, sunglasses and a parka at the same time, you
might live in Pittsburgh.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, or if you are in
church and your priest or minister asks you to pray for the STEELERS, and
wants to get you all home for 1 p.m. kickoff you might live in Pittsburgh.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you might live in Pittsburgh.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Pittsburgher when:
1. "Vacation" means going up north past I-80 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events including weddings.
7. You install security ligh ts on your house and garage and leave all the
doors unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost fall, winter, still winter and road
construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a concrete statue of a deer next to
your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means MORGANTOWN WV.
16. You find '0' degrees "a little chilly."
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his NEW FORD F150.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday and bingo every Wedne sday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
Pittsburgh friends