Anyone with divorced rents? help..

[Mxjunkie]

My parents spilt up a few years ago but finaly got papers signed for divorce, My mom wants custody of me but I dont want to go with her only because she has a few problems and I really dont like my step dad.

The problem is my step mom wont sign guardian papers for me because she said I hate her and I dont like her, Only because I dont talk to her.. Mainly because I dont want another mom and all she trys to do is be my mom.

Is there anyway around my step mom so I can stay here without her signing the papers? My dad seems too whipped by her to even agree with me that shes over powering and a gold digger.. He told me last night that if I dont talk to her I have to leave because he loves her and hes not going to leave her..

Sorry if I sound like a lil kid asking for help but I dunno what to do to be honest and if you ask me ya'll are like family...... :ermm:

From what you've told me, i don't think a court would let you live at your moms house. They would be looking at which home is most stable. As for your step mom, I think shes just trying to be nice to you. If she makes the effort to try to make u feel at home,ect- you shouldn't snub her off and not talk to her,thats just being mean. You might not want a new mom, but im sure she means well and is just trying to help. Now post pics of your step sisters! (had to- rest of the post was wayyy to serious):macho

[MR.BIG]

Well my parents aren't divorced but I would be pissed if my dad chose a woman over me. You are 16 correct so you have two years and then you can do what you want. If you really want to stay with your dad sit that *itch down with your father and tell her how you feel and see where that gets you but be nice about it. Good luck

both my parents have divorced each other, their next sposes, and now their both on their third marriages which are rocky now. my advice to you is to stay with your dad it looks like, I dont think your mom has to sign guardian papers

[MR.BIG]

Don't be a jerk just sit them down and tell them what concerns you have maybe she is just trying to fit it.

[JATV250]

Originally posted by Mxjunkie69
My parents spilt up a few years ago but finaly got papers signed for divorce, My mom wants custody of me but I dont want to go with her only because she has a few problems and I really dont like my step dad.

The problem is my step mom wont sign guardian papers for me because she said I hate her and I dont like her, Only because I dont talk to her.. Mainly because I dont want another mom and all she trys to do is be my mom.

Is there anyway around my step mom so I can stay here without her signing the papers? My dad seems too whipped by her to even agree with me that shes over powering and a gold digger.. He told me last night that if I dont talk to her I have to leave because he loves her and hes not going to leave her..

Sorry if I sound like a lil kid asking for help but I dunno what to do to be honest and if you ask me ya'll are like family......:ermm:

Wow, that depresses me, especially since I have two kids and I am going through a divorce, unfortuantely.

I don't have an answer for your question but I hope all things work out for you and that in the end, you are happy.

[duke416ex]

I am with mixmaster, after you get to a certain age, I think it's like 13 or 14 in most states the courts will ask you who you want to stay with. As long as your dad will let you stay I don't think your step mom has to sign anything, unless they were trying to get your mom completely out of the pic and your step mom was gonna take full guardianship of you with your dad.

[Mxjunkie]

yup, they are trying to get my mom way out of the picture but my step mom wont sign those papers. It sounds like she doesnt like me to much either :scary:

[duke416ex]

Well, I may be wrong on this, but I believe in order for your step mom to take over full guardianship of you then your mom has to sign a paper giving up her rights to guardianship. The way I have seen it done around here, it is basically an adoption. I mean, I think your step mom is a guardian to some extent now if they are married, but if your mom isn't gonna sign and go along with it then there would be no use in your step mo msigning the paper. Just tell the court where you want to live.

[wilkin250r]

So, you don't want to live with your real mom, but you don't want your step-mom to "try to be your mom".

It does sound a little like whining to me. Now, I'm not going to say you are a spoiled brat, because I don't think you are. I've seen your posts on here. However, I do think you have a little growing up to do.

First off, you can't claim you're a saint, and that you're the worlds best teenager. However, it sounds like your new step-mom is willing to look past all that, and try to become a family with you and your father. YOU are the obstacle to that.

You want your step-mom to sign guardianship, to take responsibility for you, and welcome you into her home. Yet you don't even want to talk to her because "all she trys to do is be my mom".

I suggest you try to look at things from HER perspective.

Originally posted by wilkin250r
So, you don't want to live with your real mom, but you don't want your step-mom to "try to be your mom".

It does sound a little like whining to me. Now, I'm not going to say you are a spoiled brat, because I don't think you are. I've seen your posts on here. However, I do think you have a little growing up to do.

First off, you can't claim you're a saint, and that you're the worlds best teenager. However, it sounds like your new step-mom is willing to look past all that, and try to become a family with you and your father. YOU are the obstacle to that.

You want your step-mom to sign guardianship, to take responsibility for you, and welcome you into her home. Yet you don't even want to talk to her because "all she trys to do is be my mom".

I suggest you try to look at things from HER perspective. Exactly what i was trying to say:macho

[WKY400EX]

Originally posted by Mxjunkie69
The problem is my step mom wont sign guardian papers for me because she said I hate her and I dont like her, Only because I dont talk to her.. Mainly because I dont want another mom and all she trys to do is be my mom. Josh, try talking to your step-mom and explain to her how you feel. Let her know that you don't hate her, but it's just hard to adjust to step parents. It may not be easy talking to her, but she won't know how you feel until you tell her. Maybe she'll reconsider signing the guardianship papers afterwards?

Anyway, my parents finally split when I was in 6th grade, but there were several years of problems. I know that it's tough, but it's only going to get better man.;)

[crday98]

Originally posted by duke416ex
I am with mixmaster, after you get to a certain age, I think it's like 13 or 14 in most states the courts will ask you who you want to stay with. As long as your dad will let you stay I don't think your step mom has to sign anything, unless they were trying to get your mom completely out of the pic and your step mom was gonna take full guardianship of you with your dad. i'm not sure if the law varies from state to state but the age in PA is 12. i know this because my mom is going through a big custody battle for my nephew. he just turned 12 and decided he wants to live with my mom. there are more specifics that are involved but as of now, she has legal custody of him.

[Pappy]

I hate to break it to your dad, but his child is his first priority, not the second wife.

and your old enough to understand the fact that if he wont put you first then maybe you need to move in with your mother.

my parents divorced the first time time when i was 6 and then when i was 14. my dad was the only thing solid i ever had in life.

[250rmike]

over 13 or 14 the child has a say. just remember that your gonna have to learn to deal with your step dad sooner or later. my parents split several years back and i had to spend several days with one then several days with the other. although my dad really let me do what i wanted with my mom i had to be there. just talk to your parents about it. and try to talk to your step mother and let her know you dont want another mom. you know shes gonna be there so be friends

[Woodsrider]

Sounds to me like you need to go have lunch with your step mom. You two need to work things out if you want to stay with your dad. You have to learn to deal with the fact that she plans to be with your dad for the long haul, with or with out you. Its just as easy for her to let(or make) you live with your mom as it is to put up with your "teenage antics". So why should her and your dad put up with you trying to drive a wedge between them?
And she needs to understand (maybe she already does) that you arent in the market for another woman to call mom. If you don't think she can ever fill your moms shoes than thats fine, but if you shut her out of your life without giving her a chance, you're sure to drive your dad away too.
I know, Ive been in your shoes. It was just dad and I from third grade thru high school, until he met my step mom while I was a junior. I never realized it until a few years ago, but I was the biggest prick to her. So big infact that they waited until I left for basic before they got married, just to keep the peace. My dad stayed married to her until the day he died last year. My step mom and I are closer now than ever before.
I guess what I'm saying is, If you really love your dad, be happy that he has found a new companion. Nobody says you have to love her as your mom. But you will have to respect her positon in the house, wether you like it or not.

[TCracin440ex]

Originally posted by Mxjunkie69
My parents spilt up a few years ago but finaly got papers signed for divorce, My mom wants custody of me but I dont want to go with her only because she has a few problems and I really dont like my step dad.

The problem is my step mom wont sign guardian papers for me because she said I hate her and I dont like her, Only because I dont talk to her.. Mainly because I dont want another mom and all she trys to do is be my mom.

Is there anyway around my step mom so I can stay here without her signing the papers? My dad seems too whipped by her to even agree with me that shes over powering and a gold digger.. He told me last night that if I dont talk to her I have to leave because he loves her and hes not going to leave her..

Sorry if I sound like a lil kid asking for help but I dunno what to do to be honest and if you ask me ya'll are like family...... :ermm:


well i feel sorry for you bro....my mom and dad went their separate ways almost 10 years ago now...actually thats when the divorce was final...all in all its been about 13 years...It was a nasty divorce...My dad wouldnt pay child support, my dad didnt want anything to do with us he didnt want weekend visits or anything...He said his party time and women was more important...The day of the divorce he bought my mom out of her share of the house....him and his lawer gave us 24 hours to move out EVERYTHING that didnt belong to him...which was alot of stuff considerin i have 2 brothers plus my mom....My mom bein the smart *** she is took EVERYTHING that didnt belong to him...She even took the lightbulbs out of the sockets, and the 24ft round above ground pool that was behind the house...lucky her new friend/boyfriend helped us move out...Since the divorce ive maybe seen and spoken to my dad approx. 5 times...due to i have no use for the man anymore he didnt want to be a father

at the age of 16 bro a JUDGE will take you in their chainbers and let you speak privately to them and ask who you want to live with and so on...believe me it happened to me...and I told the judge i didnt want to live with my dad i wanted to live with my mom....and this happened 1 day before my 16th birthday

[TCracin440ex]

and let me tell you another thing...your step mom dont have to sign guardian papers on you....my mom and her current boyfriend (the one that helped us move out) have been together 10 years and he aint ever signed anything about being a legal gardian of me...only way your step mom would have to sign anything is if your mom drew up addoption papers on you...so dont go fall in the hole that you have to kiss your step moms arse to live with your father

[clutt225]

dude there is nothing wrong with accepting step parents.
My parents split when I was only 12. I don't get along with my step mother that well, but still respect her and the fact that she makes my dad happy. As for my step father, he became like an older brother to me, and is standing up for me in my weding next month. I guess what I am trying to say is tell your parents where you want to live and respect all of your parental figures biological or not. Evrey one will be happier.

[hessianmx111]

There's alot of good advice in here Josh, hopefully everything works out for you.

[Doober]

Originally posted by hessianmx111
, hopefully everything works out for you.

[exboy]

sorry man i dont know what to tell ya. my parents divorced a while back it was kinda bad right off some crazy stuff happend, but it got better. Usually i think livin with ur dad would be cooler but i live with my mom. that sux about ur step mom not signin the papers ur dad cant like make her do it??

[86350x]

I would say the heck with both of em. Stay with a relative and visit them. Neither home sounds very stable to me. Wich you do not need when you are trying to do your school work, and keep your sanity.

[wilkin250r]

Originally posted by Pappy
I hate to break it to your dad, but his child is his first priority, not the second wife.

and your old enough to understand the fact that if he wont put you first then maybe you need to move in with your mother.


I would have to disagree.

Yes, the child should be his first priority, but if the new wife is trying to be the new mom, it sounds like she is making an effort, that she's trying to make things work. The new wife is making an effort, but the child isn't.

It's not up to my children to decide who I marry or who I am with. If my new wife is making an effort, but my son is stubborn and refuses to talk to her simply on the grounds that "she's not my mom", I'd kick is arrogant little @$$! :mad:

My new wife will be carefully evaluated before I marry her, and a large portion of that evaluation will be my children. But if she passes my litmus test, then I'M the boss, not my kids. If I say to treat her with respect, then my kids had damn well better do so.

[TCracin440ex]

Originally posted by wilkin250r
I would have to disagree.

Yes, the child should be his first priority, but if the new wife is trying to be the new mom, it sounds like she is making an effort, that she's trying to make things work. The new wife is making an effort, but the child isn't.

It's not up to my children to decide who I marry or who I am with. If my new wife is making an effort, but my son is stubborn and refuses to talk to her simply on the grounds that "she's not my mom", I'd kick is arrogant little @$$! :mad:

My new wife will be carefully evaluated before I marry her, and a large portion of that evaluation will be my children. But if she passes my litmus test, then I'M the boss, not my kids. If I say to treat her with respect, then my kids had damn well better do so.

you will find out bro that women will come and go....but your kids will always be YOURS no matter what comes or goes...i wouldnt ever put my kids on the back burner for a woman...just couldnt do it...if my woman couldnt accept my kids and accept that my kids came first....then so be it...pack ya stuff jack and dont come back

[Pappy]

oh i am all for one being respectful, but it works both ways.

my new mom was great up to the time she decided she really didnt want a 14 year old step son seeing she had her new son. coming from a broken home to find someone who i thought loved me as a child, only to be crushed at a pivotal time in my young life sure brought the real world into sharp focus. dont get me wrong, my half brother and i are closer then any blood brothers i know, but i have little use for any woman that behaves the way i have first hand knowledge of. now, i am a bit biased in my opinion, but i wasnt the only one who saw this change take place, and im sure others can atest to this being a fairly common trait with regards to step moms. not all mind you, but there is more then most want to admit.


i also have seen the side where the kid is a pecker and the step mom has done no wrong and then i would fully agree, the foot should be put down.

in any event, the father or mother's priority in life should be the child. if bringing another person into the family it should be very open and well discussed. to many times miscommunication can lead to this issue. broken homes are the result of poor judgement, making more bad choices only furthers the angst a child feels.

[troutman561]

well i dunno about divorces cause my parents where never married and broke up when i was like 3.. but i do know aobut step parents, iv had a step dad since i was 5 and i consider him to be just like a dad to me.. in my early teenage years we had some issues but i realized that he loved and cared for me like i was his son, it was good to see, i was jsut to stubborn for awhile, then a few years ago my dad got married and when i went to visit my dad she was there and was open to me being there and treated me as her son... but my point here is dont be stubborn and not be open to them, they dont have to take the place of a parent, but step parents can be close aslong as u arnt a prick to them, like my step sister was to my dad, she disliked him for no reaosn at all and they had no relationship, it pissed me off to see her treat him like that for nothing... i heard about way to many of my friends not getting along with step parents also for stupid reasons.. now not all are perfect, but if she is trying to reach out to u dont push her away, that will just complicate things and tear u from ur dad also

[knighttime]

Originally posted by Mxjunkie69
My parents spilt up a few years ago but finaly got papers signed for divorce, My mom wants custody of me but I dont want to go with her only because she has a few problems and I really dont like my step dad.

The problem is my step mom wont sign guardian papers for me because she said I hate her and I dont like her, Only because I dont talk to her.. Mainly because I dont want another mom and all she trys to do is be my mom.

Is there anyway around my step mom so I can stay here without her signing the papers? My dad seems too whipped by her to even agree with me that shes over powering and a gold digger.. He told me last night that if I dont talk to her I have to leave because he loves her and hes not going to leave her..

Sorry if I sound like a lil kid asking for help but I dunno what to do to be honest and if you ask me ya'll are like family...... :ermm:

first of all decide where you want to live. it sounds like you like your mom but would rather live at your dad's place. even if it kills ya, be nice to your dad's gf, she prolly is a lil insecure and if your a lil nice it would be cool. just go for it. have her sign the freakin papers. you will be 18 soon so it wont freakin matter anyway.

now if you go with the above plan, you will have to kinda be nice to your moms bf. F it, just do it and see what happens.

good luck dude

[wilkin250r]

Originally posted by TCracin440ex
if my woman couldnt accept my kids and accept that my kids came first....then so be it...pack ya stuff jack and dont come back

Regardless of who came first, I'm not letting my kids be spoiled little brats and treat my new GF/wife like chit, especially if she has done no wrong to deserve it.

My new wife will have to accept my children, that's obvious, and be willing to take on those responsibilites. Otherwise, she wouldn't be my wife.

Think of it like a motorcycle. I'll certainly ask Little Wilkin's opinion on what he likes, but I, as the parent, will be the one to decide if it's safe or not, if it's too fast, what amount of protective gear he needs to wear, or whether he can ride at night or not. I'll take his safety into account and decide yes or no, and if he doesn't like it, tough chit.

Much the same way, I will be the one to evaluate my new GF/wife. I'll take Little Wilkin's needs and best intrests into account, but I will be the one to make the decision, not Little Wilkin. If I decide she's good enough, then goddam it, she's good enough, and I won't tolerate disrespect.

He doesn't need to evaluate her, I've already done it for him.

[PismoLocal]

i dont kno how the laws are setup in your state but here in california the kids have the right to choose who they live with once they turn 14, but only if the parents are willing to have you. my parents got divorced in 94 and i lived with my dad until i was a freshmen in high school and then i talked to my mom and moved in with her until high shcool was over. the only thing that sux is that you have to go to court for a couple days but its worth it if thats what you want.

[TCracin440ex]

Originally posted by wilkin250r
Regardless of who came first, I'm not letting my kids be spoiled little brats and treat my new GF/wife like chit, especially if she has done no wrong to deserve it.

yes i agree with you there too if a kid is totally out of line with a new step parent i can agree....but sometimes a kid cant take to their step parents right away...

[KH426]

Coming from a broken home I know what you are going through. The only thing I can tell you is the door swings both ways, would you want to talk to a person who treats you like ****. My suggestion would be to tell your STEP mom you allready have a mom, but respect your dad's choice. My personal expeareance was I didn't give my step dad a chance and it cost me about eight years of my mom and kid sister, and that sucks.

just remember you only have one mom and one dad

[Rootar]

josh my friend went through the pretty much same thing as your saying at the time we didnt know what to tell him. his mom as a physico simply put. My friend went to her (soon to be step mom) before her and his dad got married and he told us he said to her that he hadnt really had a mom through his life so far and that he really didnt want one but that he liked her alot and that they could be more like friends instead of parent/child.

to this day his step mom his the coolest person. before we could all drive she would take us places. she was always really fun and always nice even tho at first she admitted she didnt like him. after he talked to her and they got to know each other more after the marriage she began to warm up to him. and his dad being alot happier helped too.




i hope everything works out right for you. jsut remember she ranks above you on the toetum pole and jsut give her respect and be nice thats all they really ask for.

[Smoker]

Stick it to both of them, see if you can get emanicipated and live where you want. Mom probably wants allimony and to be able to claim you on her taxes, take the choice away from both of them. I moved out when I was seventeen, yes it was rough but my parents were the ones who should of got divorced so I moved out and got my head clear instead of living with a head full of their garbage. I know this probably isn't going to apply to your situation but it is an option.

Originally posted by Mxjunkie69
yup, they are trying to get my mom way out of the picture but my step mom wont sign those papers. It sounds like she doesnt like me to much either :scary:

Son you need to mature a little bit and play this smart. Your wishes are to live with your dad, right, and to make that happen you just have to be civil to his new wife, right, then do it!!

[Mxjunkie]

His new wife is almost as bad as my old mom so I'm ****ed either way now, both drunks and both give me a hard time soo I cant exactly be civil at all. Living with my mom is becoming more and more of an option :ermm:

[TRX_450]

ok time for one of the members to adopt u....if i had my choice id prolly pick pappy :devil: but u choose where u think ud be happiest :blah: