What Dont You Say To Cops...

[ridered86]

CUMON GUYS HAVE SOME FUN

[lildude]

wel it is a hard decision but i think the worst possible thing u could say is (dude i really smoked u on that strate strech of the rode 10 miles back i dont know how ur peace of junk mercury kept up)

I think if you said. I pay for you and you do this ***** to me !!!!

[Tlongs400]

don't say anything just haul *****:D

[Pappy]

i was being frisked one night and i asked her what time she got off. she wasnt too happy. i was!!!

[lildude]

lol that was a good 1

[2002_300_EX]

if a cop says " your eyes are a little glazed, have you been drinking?" do not say " your eyes look a little glazed too....have you been eating doughnuts?" or...."hold my beer while i get my license." or....." your not gonna check the trunk are you?"

[JabberJaw]

"Do you know how fast you were going?" ...
Uh, No! My speedomoter stops after I hit 120 mph.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" ...
Your wife just called and said you had left for work and she was finally alone!

"How much have you had to drink tonight?" ...
You couldn't afford it on your salary!

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Is it because you wanted to proposition me for sex?

are you andy or barney?
-
ok check, just not under the seat.
-
good driving, i must have been doing 120mph.
-
frisk me baby, harder, harder, oh baby harder!!!!
-
sorry sir i forgot my license, registration, title, and keys at the house.
-
patrick

[Tommy 17]

a cop busted my friend drinkin at the cockerton poker run late year and he asked my friend where he got the beer, he told him it fell out of the sky... he didn't like that one to much...


if a cop pulls u over put on the song from nwa F to police... it just keeps saying it...


the biggest pr*ck job from a cop i ever saw was my friends cuz... the cop pulled him and his friends over for drinkin... and they got the bright idea for all 3 of them to jump in the back seat and the cop wouldn't know who did it... well the cop came up and he said i can't bust u so get outta here... my cuz friend was stupid jumped in the front seat and pulled away... 20ft down the road he pulled him back over and gave him the dui and he gave them fines for pullin the trick off... how stupid could they have been..

[MR.EX-TREME]

HEY I GAVE TO THE SUPPORT THE HIGHWAY PATROL CLUB!!!! DIDNT YOU SEE THE STICKERS FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS BACK THERE ON THE BUMBER BRO??

--------

LET ME GO I DONT DRINK YOUR BRAND OF BEER!!!!!


-----------


AS YOUR PULLING HIS WIFES HEAD UP FROM YOUR CROTCH!!! SAY!! (YOUR WIFE SAID TO LEAVE US THE HE11 ALONE.....AND WE ALL KNOW SHE WEARS THE PANTS IN YOUR FAMILY ) !!!!!!! ("BUNGHOLE") !!!!!! :devil

---------

I THINK THIS WILL BE A LONG THREAD!!!! LOL!!:devil

[MR.EX-TREME]

BUMP!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE A FUN POST 2 --
RIDERED86???:confused: :devil

[2002_300_EX]

i dont think acting like you aslep would help....but ya never know....or what if after they stop you...you back into thier car realy slowly...then turn around in suprise an say you didnt knotice them

[JustRace]

A female officers pulls a guy over for drinking and driving

she says "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be held against you."

The drunk man yells out "T!TS"

[super_man37366]

I saw this on a shirt in a book a dirtbike book not a atv book. So the joke is for dirtbikers racers..but still funny.... here goes.....

IF ONLY YOU WOULD HAVE LEARNED TO TWIST INSTEAD OF STROKE YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN A MOTOCROSS CHAMPION...

( IT HAD A PICTURE OF A HAND GRIP LIKE WERE YOU GIVE IT GAS ON A DIRTBIKE LOL..........)

|====| <---- KINDA A PICTURE OF IT LOL...

-I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer
-Sory officer I didnt realize my radar detector wasnt plugged in
-arnt you the guy from the villatge people
-hey you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job
-Are you Andy or Barney
-I thought you had to be in relativly good physical condition to be a police officer
-You are not going to cheack the Trunk are you?
-I pay your salary
-Do you know why you pulled me over? OKay just so one of us does.
-Gee officer thats teriffic the last officer only gave me a warning too!!
Got these from a plaque i bought like 2 years ago lol

["BLAHH"300!!]

1) "hic-up!!"
2) "my cars hard to drive"
3) "we HAD weed, it's gone now though"
4) "no you cannot search my car"
5) "don't i know you"

6) cop-"whats wrong with him"
me--"uhh, he just ATE all the beer"
7) "follow me for a 1/2 mile, let's see if i swerve again"
8) cop-"whats your name son"
me--" they call me mellow yellow"
9) "call me sometime, we'll go hang out"
10) "you remember me?" "no" what? you busted me just last week, what are you retarted"
11) "sup, dude"
12) "PEACE my nigga" <--(no racial anything meant by that, it's just funny)
get out of your car, and start doing the funky chiken, on top of your car (A.K.A. the pee pee dance)
13) "wanna race"
14) "you don't know where i can find a sac do ya'... it's been dry"
15) "wanna hack"

[Nausty]

when he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
Also when he pulls you over get out of the car and throw yourself on the hood.
If he asks why you think he pulled you over say because he thought you had donuts in the trunk?
umm
uhh
When you have to sign a ticket and are using his pin take it apart and play with the spring.... oh and chew on it.
When he comes up to the car act like your retarded
when he comes up to your car act like your deaf
if he asks why you were speeding tell him you had to buy a hat
when he tells you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way
act like your gay and ask him out and if he says no cry and if yes then claim sexual herassment
When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"
if he asks to see your license tell him its on the plate in the back of the truck
When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
ask if he watches cops.
when he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir,

the last cop got it.

When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
when you get
pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

[lil400exman]

lol this was my moms she is 46 with a perfect drving record until last year mameoial day weekend shw was pulled oveer and cried to the officer sayin why can you just give me a warining i have never been caught speeding before! i mean i have never sped and a cop seeing me i mean no i have never sped period so it ends up she got a ticket! lol i love that story!

[flyin#5]

sorry officer i was tryin to catch up to you to tell ya that you passed the donut shop back there.

bad cop...... no donut.

[ridered86]

comon guys this is for a school project!!! no just kidding but these are awsome


oink,oink,oink:D :blah

[mysticfalcon]

one night i was DD and on the ride home i got pulled over and the cop was all proud that there was a dd so he said that he was only gonna give me a warning then one of the drunks said "i smell bacon i smell pork watch out piggie i got a fork" and the cop gave me the ticket. I made him pay the ticket.

[Nausty]

lol one time me and my dad were driving in his work truck and a cop kept following him for a while and my dad was getting kinda nervous and before he knew a pheasant flew up, smacked out windsheild and flipped and landed on the cops police car and he gave my dad a ticket for flipping him the bird:D

[flyin#5]

Originally posted by Nausty
lol one time me and my dad were driving in his work truck and a cop kept following him for a while and my dad was getting kinda nervous and before he knew a pheasant flew up, smacked out windsheild and flipped and landed on the cops police car and he gave my dad a ticket for flipping him the bird:D

our history teacher told us that the last week of school. he was really serious until the end so it was pretty funny.

Little Johny is riding his bike down the road one day and a cop on a horse stops him:
COP: Hey Kid...is that a new bike?
Little Johny: Yes.....Santa bought it for me.
Cop: Well maybe next year you should ask santa for a Taillight
Little Johny: Did Santa bring your horse???
Cop: (smiling) yes he did
Little Johny: Well maybe next year, you should ask Santa to put the D:devil ck undernieth the horse instead of putting the
d:devil ck on top of the horse

[vinez21]

officer i swear to drunk im not god

hold my beer while i get my licsense & arnt u that guy from the village people!........LOL u guys!

[kc 300EX]

True story:Cousins Explorer(V6) towing a boat, going 77mph, cop put on the lights, pulls over
Cop:Sir, can you explain to me WHY youre doing 77mph in a 55mph zone?
Cousin:Well Sir, Thats all this Piece of **** will do!........

[racerchic9]

oh, wait officer, hold on just a second... Guys, i told you to put your clothes back on... here's your shorts...

If he takes you downtown, in the car, ask him a whole bunch of annoying questions. ie. is that a shotgun? I have a gun.. Ya I shoot birds. Do you watch cops? Are you ever in cops? How come thats only in the USA? Do you have any kids? Tell them you arrested somebody today (a kid?) for riding a quad and having fun and not doing drugs! Did you know that quads keep me AWAY from alcohol and drugs? I swear when I get oughta here im gonna take the pork oughta my trunk so I wont get stopped all the time! Whats your call sign on your CB? Do you ride quads? Whats going to happen to my quad? What are the people like in jail? Will I get raped? Are you proud you arrested me?... I like quads... do you like quads?..

****, you could go on for a day talking about your quad! do that! say everything you know about quads!!!

well, since ur arresting me, u wana come to my house for pork, bacon and donuts

i will not come home drunk
i will not come home drunk
i will not come hom dunk
i willna com hum dunk

i forgot rest:)

ok here it goes,one day me and my friends were riding in the fields behind our house and we decided to go swim.so we crossed the road and went to our swimmin hole.but when we were leaving we saw 2 cops about 100yds away on the road.they waived us over.we turned around and wwent back under bridge.mty friends being lil girls made me go first.so i went flyin up this huge hill and they followed me up.the cop tries 2 do a donut but he does half a one and goes almost into the ditch.we were goin so fast that we just jumped completly over the road.we were flyin through the fields about 70 mph.my friend on a cr250 starts doin w 5th gear wheely.we all ran down to the main trails and stopped for a minute.then the next thing we kno is the cops show up on top of the hill lookin down at us.we started up our bikes and ran 2 our garage.closed it and waited 4 about 20 mins.we look out the window and see cop cars outside.we all got real scared then they ring the door bell.we talked 4 a lil bit then put me in the back of the car,i stayed there 4 about 10 mins.then he got me out and lectured me again.i went back inside and hung out with my friends.they stayed 4 about 30 more mins in my room.the cop asked about my other friends and i sed no way.so about 30-45 mins l8er the dads of the other kids kum and pik them up kuz we didnt wunt them gettin cot on the way home.srry so long but it wuz a big addrenaline rush!

[CR125Rider]

Sir, please down your AC/DC...

Hold my beer, i don't want you seeing the gun in the glove box cause then you'll start asking me about the body in the trunk...

I actualy always find myself saying "hey smokey, you wanna go" almost always followed by a chase... i think they enjoy chasing the quads as much as we enjoy running from them

[PlainfeildBrett]

http://209.120.142.52/showthread.php?s=&threadid=21935

i posted lots here

[WARRIOR02RIDER]

i always say never drink and drive U MITE SPILL UR BEER

[toby400ex]

ok the other day i take the street to my trails(first mistake) not that its a busy road, the speed limit is only 45. me and my friend get some pics of me doin our natural table top and then i find my broken *** petcock(hehehe) leekin gas so i go home but on the way there, back to the trail that goes to my house a cop is on the other side of the road, i slow down and think everything is ok until he pulls right out in front of me and stops. He says, you been runnin from the police today, and i say not to the best of my knowledge. then he says I ran from a cop on a major road and got away. he did say the name of the road, but i told him i was never on the road and i havent even been out side for more than an hour. he says that a red atv with a person with a black jersey(oneal) and tan pants(desert camo) was chased down the road he was talkin about.then i said it wasnt me. then he goes on to ask for all my information and tells me if he gave me the tickets i wouldnt drive til im 21. Somehow he came up with 4 tickets and saying they would be about 500 each. i say if i was runnin from cops i wouldnt be on the road now and i wouldnt have stopped for you since there is grass right next to the road. He lets me go thank god,But i cant help but wonder what he did with all my information. he even has my number so i better not get caught again, but hey my plastic wont be red for long so i have to start another record for the yellow 400ex plastic.

[2K1 300EX]

I live out in the country......cops aren't that big of a deal we always ride our quads on the road; it's funny to see people's faces when you pass them on a quad. But every now and then somebody will call the cops on us and we usually see the cops coming down the road and head for one of the trails, let the cop think he is fixing to get us and just when he slows down hit hte trail and never look back.

[QuadFixer]

:p:-I'll give you a donut, if you let me go.
:D:-Hey, I know you, I flipped you off yesterday!
:devil:-Wanna race?
:eek:-It wasn't me...

Things to say that might aggrivate them, but may also get you out of a ticket...

-Do you have a licsense to operate that radar gun?

Thats all I can think of.

[Z-King]

how abought this one

just yesterday you took my licence away and today you expect me to show you