nowukno
07-23-2005, 10:37 PM
For my 400th post i posted some funny jokes so i figured i would do the same with my 500th. So here are some pretty funny jokes and a funny quad picture.......
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
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A rich young man goes out and buys the best car available: a McLaren F1. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $1,000,000.
He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a mo-ped about 90 years old pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks,
"What kind of car ya' got there, sunny?"
The young man replies, "A McLaren F1. It cost $1,000,000.
"That's a lot of money" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 230 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The mo-ped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?"
"Sure," replies the owner.
So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.
Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"
Just then, the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within seconds he hits 100 mph , then 150 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoossh! Something whips by him, going much faster!
"What on earth could be going faster than my F1?" the young man asks himself.
Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And, it almost looked like the old man on the mo-ped!
"Couldn't be," thinks the guy."
"How could a mo-ped outrun an McLaren F1?"
Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror!
Whooooosh Ka-BbblaMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and damn, it is the old man!!! Of course the mo-ped and the old man are near death.
He runs up to the dying old man and says, "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man groans and replies "Yes.
Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"
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Here is the funny quad picture......
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
--------
A rich young man goes out and buys the best car available: a McLaren F1. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $1,000,000.
He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a mo-ped about 90 years old pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks,
"What kind of car ya' got there, sunny?"
The young man replies, "A McLaren F1. It cost $1,000,000.
"That's a lot of money" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 230 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The mo-ped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside?"
"Sure," replies the owner.
So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.
Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"
Just then, the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within seconds he hits 100 mph , then 150 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoossh! Something whips by him, going much faster!
"What on earth could be going faster than my F1?" the young man asks himself.
Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And, it almost looked like the old man on the mo-ped!
"Couldn't be," thinks the guy."
"How could a mo-ped outrun an McLaren F1?"
Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror!
Whooooosh Ka-BbblaMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end. The young man jumps out, and damn, it is the old man!!! Of course the mo-ped and the old man are near death.
He runs up to the dying old man and says, "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man groans and replies "Yes.
Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"
------
Here is the funny quad picture......