PDA

View Full Version : George Carlin...



LTandRaptorider
07-01-2005, 08:51 PM
YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by: George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.


I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!


I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.


I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.


I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.


I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.


I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ***** through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.


My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.


I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.


I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.


I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my *** off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?


I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.


I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?


I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ***** if you're running from them.


I also think they have the right to pull your ***** over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.


And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good.....and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.


I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.


I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.


And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?


If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

We need our country back!

07-01-2005, 09:13 PM
hehe, thats my guy....

07-01-2005, 09:16 PM
Calinism:

I'm happy to say that during the 2000 Olympics I missed every single event without exception, managing even to avoid all the clips shown on newscasts. And although I sometimes watch NBC and MSNBC for other reasons, this time, whenever I ventured into those two locations it was with the remote control firmly in hand, ready to change channels instantly, in the event that depressing Olympic theme music or those repulsive five rings suddenly showed up.

The only thing high-definition television will do is provide sharper pictures of the garbage.

I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.

There is now a Starbucks in my pants.

The Christians are coming to get you, and they are not pleasant people.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

07-01-2005, 09:20 PM
We have mileage, yardage, and footage, why don't we have inchage?

Travel tip: Economy-section farts on an inbound flight from the Third World are the deadliest a traveler will ever encounter.

Great scientific discoveries: jiggling the toilet handle.

Why do they call it a garbage disposal? The stuff isn't garbage until after you dispose of it.

A cemetery is a place where dead people live.

07-01-2005, 09:21 PM
http://home.scarlet.be/~bliek/drew-page/lptoledo.jpg

HondaEXrider22
07-01-2005, 09:31 PM
I agree

redrunner
07-02-2005, 05:00 PM
I love that guy...goes way back for me...