jokes

[Orr#34]

Hey everybody i was just wondering if yall had any good jokes about blondes or any car or atv jokes really anything just post them. I bet nobody can make my laugh. Just try.

[trick250r]

this blonde was driving home from work when she ran into a hail storm. when she got home, she noticed that her car had dents in it from the hail so she took it to a body shop. when she got there, the mechanic noticed she was a blonde so he told her to get on her hands and knees and blow in the tailpipe and the dents would come out. when she got home, she did just like the mechanic said and tried to blow the dents out. after several minutes of blowing, she noticed that it didn't work. she then asked her room-mate (who is also a blonde) if she knew why it didn't work. afer thinking a while, her room-mate looked at her a nd said "of course it didn't work, your windows are down!"

[Scott-300ex]

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

A policeman is walking down the road when he sees a man with a brick tied to a dog leash. He decides to go and humor him. He walks up to the man and says, ''Hello, sir, I like your dog!''
The man looks at the brick, then the policeman, and says, ''It's not a dog, it's a brick.''

The policeman replies, ''Oh, sorry, I thought you were a bit mad,'' and walks off rather puzzled.

As the policeman goes out of sight, the man turns to the brick and says, ''That fooled him, didn't it Rover?''

Q: What do Barbie and Britney Spears have in common?
A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.

thats enough for now

[Orr#34]

Is that yall that yall have it got a little smile out of me.

[thomps6s]

Some may be duplicates.

Confuscious Say:
"Man who goes to bed at night with sex on mind, wakes up with solution in hand"

"Elevator smell very different to a midget"

"Man who drop watch in toilet have ****ty time."

"Man trapped in pantry have *** in jam."

"Virgin like balloon. . . one prick, all gone."

"Baseball wrong. . . man with four balls cannot walk."

"Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless *******."

"Man who smoke pot choke on handle."

"Ok for **** to happen. . . will decompose."

"Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk."

"Don't drink and park, accidents cause people."

"He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser."

"Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn out."

"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."

"Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."

"Woman who cooks carrots and pees in same pot is unsanitary."

"Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants."

"Man who runs behind car gets exhausted."

"Man who run in front of car, get tired"

"Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly."

"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."

"Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok"

"Man who scratches *** should not bite fingernails."

"Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."

"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."

"Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night."

"Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!"

"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"

"Man who sit on tack get point!"

"Man who lives in glass house should change in basement"

"He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."

1. Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit.
2. Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.
3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.
4. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
5. Passionate kiss like spider web--lead to undoing of fly.
6. Man with holes in pants pockets, feels cocky all day.
7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
8. Virginity like balloon--one prick, all gone.
9. Girl who rides bicycle, peddles *** all over town.
10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew.
11. Baseball all wrong--man with four balls can't walk.
12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement
13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
14. Man with penis in peanut butter jar is ****ing nuts.
15. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have ****ty time.
17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
18. When lady say no, she mean maybe,When lady say maybe, she mean yes, When lady say yes--she no lady!
Confucious Say: "He who snorts Coke gets ice-cubes up his nose"
Confucious Say: A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
Confucious Say: Man Who Throw Grenade in TNT Factory Is Crispy Idiot
Confucious Say: Man who Farts in Church sits in own pew.
Confucious Say: Man who put foot in mouth get athlete's tounge.
Confucious Say: Man who stand on toilet is high on Pot.
Confucious say...man who live in glass house shower in basement.
Confucious say: "Do unto others what you think is funny."
Confucious say: Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
Confucious say: Man who smoke pot choke on handle.
Confucious say: he with no taglines is deprived
Confucious say: Man should never straddle barbed wire fences.
Confucious say: Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
Confucius Say: Man Who Stand Behind Car Get Exhausted!
Confucius Say; House without toilet is uncanny.
Confucius Say; Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Confucius Say; Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!

[thomps6s]

30 things you will never hear a redneck say.
30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only thirteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog.
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling is fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my gut is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead
of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
17. Give me the SMALL bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
11. I've got it all on the C: drive.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
9. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
7. Checkmate.
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
5. I need to check my e-mail.
4. I don't have a favorite college team.
3. You All.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A
REDNECK SAY:
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving.

[YFZ450Ridr]

there are like 30 or so on this site me and my friend made for the heck of it.

http://www.freewebs.com/pissonyou/jokes.htm