View Full Version : We need some late winter humor! Yo Mama Jokes!
Time for some yo mama jokes! Add a few :D
Yo Mama's so old, she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
Yo Mama's so old, she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
Yo Mama's so old, she has an autographed bible.
Yo Mama's so old, she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
Yo Mama's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo Mama's so old, when she remembers when rainbows were black and white.
Yo Mama's so old, she used to baby-sit Jesus.
Yo Mama's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
Yo Mama's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
Yo Mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
Yo Mama's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Yo Mama's so old, she owes Moses a quarter.
Yo Mama's so old, she's got Jesus' cell phone number.
Yo Mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo Mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Yo Mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.
Yo Mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
Yo Mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Yo Mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo Mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
Yo Mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.
Yo Mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.
Yo Mama's so fat, her shadow weighs 50 pounds.
Yo Mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
yo Mamas so fat, her cereal bowl has a life guard.
Yo Mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
Yo Mama's so fat, her *** looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
FourFiftyFour
03-22-2005, 10:17 PM
yo mamas so fat that when she jumped up in the air she got stuck
yo mamas so fat when she got on the scale she saw 90210
batgeek
03-22-2005, 10:19 PM
Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
416exmx
03-22-2005, 10:28 PM
Originally posted by batgeek
Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
haha, that's just wrong.
MichaelS693
03-22-2005, 10:28 PM
yo mama is so old she used to gang bang with the hebrews:eek:
400exrules
03-22-2005, 10:28 PM
Originally posted by batgeek
Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
LMFAO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:huh :huh :eek:
jesus i gotta come in here and r ule all of you
"yo momma goes to collage"
HAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Jesse
batgeek
03-22-2005, 10:40 PM
oh you like the Yo mama so hairy jokes eh?
Yo mama armpit so hairy, look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock!
Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot takes HER picture!
Yo mama's so hairy, her breasts look like coconuts!
Yo mama's so hairy, she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Bush Gardens!"
Yo mama's so hairy, she has afros on her nipples!
Yo mama is so fat she had to get baptised at seaworld :D :D
Tommy 17
03-23-2005, 09:09 AM
your mama so ugly that the only thing attracted to her is gravity:p
yo mama so fat when she sits around teh house she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
theTman
03-23-2005, 12:48 PM
yo momma so fat she uses a matress as a tampon
yo momma so fat evertime she turns around you throw her a welcome home party
yo momma so fat when she called for a taxi a flatbed pulled up
yo mommas so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to makeup her mind
yo momma so stupid when she goes in a port-o-potty she looks for the flusher
TheX1992
03-23-2005, 02:22 PM
Yo mommas so fat, her belly button goes through the door 15 minutes before she does.
Martin Blair
03-23-2005, 02:26 PM
your moma's so cheap, only a quater for outback special
crday98
03-23-2005, 02:47 PM
your moms breath is so bad, when she yawns, her teeth duck
her teeth are so yellow, when she smiles traffic slows down
she's so slow, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
she's so fat,she has to iron her pants in the driveway
trick450r
03-23-2005, 03:24 PM
yo mommas so fat she fell in love and broke it
Yo mommas so fat she got stopped by border patrol, they thought she was smuggling a volkswagon
Yo mommas so fat when she sees a bus she say "hey STOP THAT TWINKIE!"
i'll remember a few more in a little while...
brian-250
03-23-2005, 04:52 PM
Yo mama's so fat sean wont even sleep with her.:eek2:
trick450r
03-23-2005, 04:58 PM
Originally posted by brian-250
Yo mama's so fat sean wont even sleep with her.:eek2:
ummmm haha? Incase you were wondering im sean....
Brians mommas so hairy when she spreads her legs "welcome to the jungle" starts playing...
trick450r
03-23-2005, 05:00 PM
brians momma reminds me of a brick...flat on both sides and layed by mexicans....
i thought came up with that one too
brian-250
03-23-2005, 05:00 PM
Originally posted by trick450r
ummmm haha? Incase you were wondering im sean....
Brians mommas so hairy when she spreads her legs "welcome to the jungle" starts playing...
when your mom opens hers you can park a semi in there.
trick450r
03-23-2005, 05:01 PM
Originally posted by brian-250
when your mom opens hers you can park a semi in there.
i didnt catch the punchline?
theTman
03-23-2005, 05:09 PM
Originally posted by trick450r
i didnt catch the punchline?
:o opens legs
big open......yeah....
yo mommas so fat when she wears a red shirt the kids yell HEY KOOLAID!
trick450r
03-23-2005, 05:11 PM
okay i remembered a few more...
Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips.
Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side.
Your mother's so fat, her clothes have stretch marks.
Your mother's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.
Your mother's so fat, you could slap her butt and ride the waves.
Your mother's so fat, she needs a hula hoop to keep her socks up.
Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Your mother's so fat, when they used her underwear for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she looks at the menu and says, "OK"!
remember these are all about brians mutha,,,hahaha:blah:
Plante400
03-23-2005, 05:45 PM
Your mom is so fat, she fell down the stairs,broke her leg and gravy poured out
:scary:
fasterblaster09
03-23-2005, 07:16 PM
yo mama so fat,a car swerved to miss her and ran out of gas
CHAR250R
03-23-2005, 08:28 PM
Your mama is so fat.... I could throw a rock in any window of her house and hit her.
Yo mamas so cheap, she bought her clothes in a toilet store:chinese:
ur mama is so fat that when she falls from the bed she fell off from both sides
Originally posted by fasterblaster09
yo mama so fat,a car swerved to miss her and ran out of gas
Haha, thats a good one:D
Punk'd
03-23-2005, 09:51 PM
Yo mommas so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mommas so fat she uses a VCR for a beeper
stalefish_132
03-24-2005, 12:17 AM
yo mama's so fat every time she turns around its her birthday:eek2:
Jersey450R
03-24-2005, 06:23 AM
your mama's so fat she uses a VCR as a beeper!
suck my pipe
03-24-2005, 11:03 AM
your mamas so fat she wear's two sleeping bags for tube socks.
And your theeth are so yellow I can't believe its not butter.
:o
stupid driver
03-24-2005, 12:08 PM
yo mamas so fat, after sex, ya role over twice and your still on the biatch.
Yo mamas so fat, if ya told her to haul *** shed have to make two trips.
yo mama kinda reminds me of a vaccume, she sucks blows and gets laid in a closet.
yo mama so fat, she wore high heels and struck oil.
yo mama so fat, her senior picture was an aerial photo.
300ex13
03-24-2005, 12:50 PM
your mom's so fat when she wears corduroys you cant see the grooves
your moms so fat she sells shade in the summertime
your mom is so nasty she makes old spice die
your mom is so nasty she fails the state emissions test
your mom is so nasty she made Speed Stick slow down
your mom is so nasty she made Right Guard turn left
thats it my friends told me those!
Rdhanded2
03-24-2005, 05:06 PM
Your mom is so fat, if I wanted to sleep with her I would have to roll her around in flour and F%*k the wet spot.
Sure, Brian's mom did a cool cannonball, but look what happened to Thailand!
gotlift
03-24-2005, 05:33 PM
yo mamma's such a ho you stick a quater in her ***** and her teeth fold back
WEEZIL
03-24-2005, 07:22 PM
Yo' momma' so Ugly the tide wont take her out.
Yo' momma' so tall she does a back flip and kicked jesus in the teeth.
Yo' momma so dumb she puts a ruler next to her bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma is like dominos pizza.. She is cheap, greasy and comes in 30 minutes or less.
Yo momma' so old I took her to see Jurasic park. And she had flashbacks.
Yo momma so dumb she thought a quarterback is a refund.
K_Fulk
03-24-2005, 10:31 PM
that your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
they put her photo on food stamps.
when I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
burglars break into her home and leave money.
when I told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out.
the building society repossed her cardboard box.
she watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
each night she goes to KFC to lick other folk's fingers
she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
when I saw her kickin a can down the road I asked her what she was doing....'Moving' she replied.
I caught her trying to use food stamps in the Gobstopper machine.
when I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
I asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "Pick a corner...ANY corner..."
I visited her house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "Who's tearing down the drapes!!!!"
I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
when I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."
she hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.
she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
I once threw a stone at a garbage can, and out she popped saying - "Who knocked???"
I went through her front door and tripped over the back fence.
she does drive by shootings on the bus.
when she asked me over to dinner I took a paper plate from the kitchen and she said - "Don't use the good china"
DaleJrFan
03-25-2005, 03:10 PM
good ones, keep em coming.
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