A New Concept: Retrosexual Man

[Screamin440]

I'm not sure if this has been posted before but this is great.


Please allow me to vent. I have had it! I've taken all I can stand and
I
>can't stand no more!
>Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men
prancing
>about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like
"style"
>and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual,
>metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual -- bogus
>definitions
>have taken over the urban and suburban world!
>Real men of the world, stand up, scratch, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I
>hereby
>announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the
>"Retrosexual"
>movement.
>The Code:
>A Retrosexual man, no matter what the woman insists, PAYS FOR THE
DATE.
>A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that only
>loosely fit that term because they are biologically female.
>A Retrosexual DEALS with IT. Be it a flat tire, break-in into your
home, or
>a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
>A Retrosexual not only eats red meat; he often kills it himself.
>A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long
you
>live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still reading,learning,
>growing and can manage a drink now and again, I salute you. If you are
>still
>having sex with your wife, you are a legend.
>A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman.
Women
>have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap
>(possibly two endcaps if you include shaving goods.)
>A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic or Abercrombie
when
>he's 30 years old.
>A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if
need
>be.
>This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
>A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" or "Queen" in the title.
>A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on
>national
>TV.
>A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for
women.
>Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead
to you
>becoming a frou-frou, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.
>A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental
stress
>such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak
tree
>chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different
city,
>favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink
>because
>Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT,
and,
>when you screwed up, he DEALT with you.
>A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed
to
>conceal himself from prey.
>A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor or half Windsor knot when
wearing
>a
>tie -- and ONLY a Windsor style knot.
>A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound that he can brag
about.
>A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't
hammer a
>nail, or drill a hole straight, practice in secret until you can -- or
be
>rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.
>A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that you are
riddled
>with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT.
Plus,
>it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people
or
>things that just need a little "wakin' up."
>Crying: There are very few reasons that a Retrosexual may cry, and
none of
>them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports
teams
>are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is
>swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual
can cry
>include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a good
bird
>dog, loss of a major body part, or loss of major body part on your
Ford
>truck or Jeep.
>When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a
>pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up
and
>offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other
so-called men
>still in their seats with a disgusted "you low-life" look on his face.
>A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the
correct
>emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star
Spangled
>Banner
>A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not
>understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they
offset
>the
>acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married, engaged or in a
>serious healthy relationship, e.g., hunting, fishing, boxing, shot
putting,
>shooting, cigars, car maintenance, or occasional drink.
>A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen
utensils.
>A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (heck, a blizzard) without sliding
all
>over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and without
high-centering
>his vehicle in a snow bank.
>A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he
wants.
>Wherever it lands is where he darned well wanted it to land. Except on
his
>truck --that would happen only because of a "force of nature," and
then the
>retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL WITH IT, or do both.
>A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any woman but
any
>elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's). NOTE:
The
>person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual
man
>will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their
>country.
>A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good
enough. He
>will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the
other
>person deceived him.
>A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does
>something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in
the
>process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT!
>This is the code of ethics for the Retrosexual man.

[JDiablo]

ou my friend speak the truth

TO HELL WITH THESE *** SHOWS!!!!!!!

lol a lil long so i just scimmed it over

[450 Racer R]

I'll drink to that:macho

[tdsongster]

The world really seems hell bent on domesticating men.

[Pappy]

Originally posted by tdsongster
The world really seems hell bent on domesticating men.

yep...i say we go back to carrying clubs:devil:


sure would make dating more interesting:D

[Aceman]

Yeah, it is pretty bad when you see city folk not able to hammer a nail or operate basic power tools.:rolleyes: Not to mention that queer show for dressing men in trendy clothes, I mean come on. I'm surprised I haven't seen any city guys beside the road waiting for someone to come by and change the tire for them. They are being turned into women I tell ya.

I agree with that completely. I thought it said metrosexual at first so I was ready to flame.

Every time I go to Boston I feel completely out of my element. I heard 4 dudes that were with this 4 smoking hot chicks around 17 years old talking about sales in clothes stores and textures of their clothes while waitingto go into a restaurant. It seemslike in the rich areas of the city, everyone has a vagina.

[TORO1968]

LMAO... That's great!


I'd have to say I'll drink to that as well!! :D

[rmz250]

I love men <3

[troutman561]

and what sux is women are sucked into this and alot of them only go for the pre-pubesent looking metrosexual ***s, if he doesnt know about the painting or wears cloths that cur circulation off to all extremities, hes not an option to them, oh well, they will all die off of aids eventually:)

[400exrules]

I AGREE! larry the cable guy should be our leader:devil:

[hardkoratvmxr]

best post i have seen in a while. i drink to what you posted and every REAL RETROSEXUAL MAN should live by this. or at lest 99.99% of it.

Originally posted by hardkoratvmxr
best post i have seen in a while. i drink to what you posted and every REAL RETROSEXUAL MAN should live by this. or at lest 99.99% of it.


what he said :rolleyes:

[400ex28]

Clause 1: The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

Clause 2: No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

Clause 3: Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. (See Note 2) The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode-Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New-York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.

Clause 4: When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

Clause 5: The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Section. 3.
Clause 1: The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof, (See Note 3) for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

Clause 2: Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies. (See Note 4)

Clause 3: No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

Clause 4: The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.

Clause 5: The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

Clause 6: The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.

Clause 7: Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.

Section. 4.
Clause 1: The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.

Clause 2: The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the first Monday in December, (See Note 5) unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.

Section. 5.
Clause 1: Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller Number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.

Clause 2: Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.

Clause 3: Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.

Clause 4: Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.

Section. 6.
Clause 1: The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. (See Note 6) They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, beprivileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

Clause 2: No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.

Section. 7.
Clause 1: All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.

Clause 2: Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.

Clause 3: Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.

Section. 8.
Clause 1: The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;

Clause 2: To borrow Money on the credit of the United States;

Clause 3: To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;

Clause 4: To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;

Clause 5: To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;

Clause 6: To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;

Clause 7: To establish Post Offices and post Roads;

Clause 8: To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;

Clause 9: To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;

Clause 10: To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations;

Clause 11: To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;

Clause 12: To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;

Clause 13: To provide and maintain a Navy;

Clause 14: To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;

Clause 15: To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;

Clause 16: To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;

Clause 17: To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, byCession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings;--And

Clause 18: To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.

Section. 9.
Clause 1: The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a Tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.

Clause 2: The Privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.

Clause 3: No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.

Clause 4: No Capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or Enumeration herein before directed to be taken. (See Note 7)

Clause 5: No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.

Clause 6: No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.

Clause 7: No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.

Clause 8: No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding

[toby400ex]

Real men do things like chew tobacco and cut down trees.

[zephead400ex]

What about scratching our nuts in public? Is this considered Retrosexual?:confused: If so, I'm in! :D