words from women...watch it

[insaneracin2003]

Words Women Use

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

[Quad18star]

ROFLMAO ..... I've heard all of those before .... and it's all very true .

[blondie69]

Actually those are pretty damn accurate:ermm: Which is sad to say lol.

[hotquad]

tho's are very ture!!!

[clarkymckrash]

so very true:huh

[gyt-r450]

so ture

[Punk'd]

women:rolleyes:

lol j/p ladies

[450Racer]

exactly!!! one more to add...

"i don't care" means she's pissed at you...everything goes your way because her way doesn't matter. she wants you to pay attention to her by making you think she wants you to ignore her. as Punk'd says...women:rolleyes:

[wilkin250r]

I am going to....
Don't be fooled, this is not something she is going to do alone. It actually means WE are going to... Be it cleaning, decorating, or going on a diet. If she's going on a diet, so are you!

We are going to...
Again, don't be fooled. WE actually means YOU. WE are not remodeling the bathroom, YOU are remodeling the bathroom while she watches. WE are not hanging Christmas light, YOU are hanging Christmas lights while she watches. WE are not assembling the new bed, YOU are assembling it while she watches. Men entertain themselves by watching TV. Women entertain themselves by watching their boyfriend/husband work on tasks.

[sloppyjoe]

sounds like a lot of you need to grow a set of balls and be the head of household like its supposed to be!! LAY DOWN THE RULES!!!!

[Allen]

How about ...."we need to talk"

This means she talks and you set there and STFU until she's through... :rolleyes:

[quadracer511]

Originally posted by sloppyjoe
sounds like a lot of you need to grow a set of balls and be the head of household like its supposed to be!! LAY DOWN THE RULES!!!!
id like to see that happen garenteed most would result in her actually chopping off ur balls instead of just figurativley

[hardkoratvmxr]

YES I LOVE IT

[300ex13]

Originally posted by blondie69
Actually those are pretty damn accurate:ermm: Which is sad to say lol.


i soo agree with you these things are soo very accurate

[SuperChris]

I would never let a woman kick my ***. If she tried anything, I'd be like "Hey! listen, Missy. Why don't you get in the kitchen and make my a pie, before I slap you in the face!"

[insaneracin2003]

im probably gonna get slammed for this,but i thought it was a funny joke
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?











nothing,you told her twice already..............

[SGA]

Haha, Good thread!

I'll be honest, im a bit older than many of you and have been through all of that with women.

I respect women and know how they can be Bitc*y ocasionally. Its just the way they are and thats ok, it passes.

If a woman really wants to all out argue with me about something, I just say I will not argue with you about that right now and I leave the room.
If I feel that Im wrong, I will apologize later when things cool off.

I dont try anymore to guess what women mean when they say things with hidden meanings. If I dont understand, I ask and usually get a straight answer. That stops any miscommunications and misunderstandings.

Its give and take with women and Im cool with that.
If a woman only wants to take from me, she can go find another man, I wont be around.

[SGA]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
-------------------------------------
The wife says, "Honey, do these jeans make my *** look like the side of the house?"

He says, "No, our house isn't blue."

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? - None, they just sit in the dark and whine about it.

Why do women have small feet? - So they can get closer to the sink.

Why do women not need wristwatches? - Because theres a clock on the stove.

How do you get 100 old cows into a shed? - Put a 'Bingo' sign out the front

[SGA]

Chemical Properties of Woman

Element: Woman

Symbol: Wo

Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.

Discoverer: Adam

Occurrence: Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal fluctuations.

Physical Properties:
a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties:
a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses:
a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it's too hot.

Tests:
a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution:
a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one

[Bigg Pimpin]

LMAO good thread so very true.

[derekhonda]

Beer Study

Yesterday scientists for Health Canada suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

[sunshine]

Well you all have outdone yourselves. Hope to see more of how crazy we are! Love the guys on beer too!

[dirtmomma]

ROFLMFAO those are good & oh so true :D:D

The beer study is GREAT too :D

Now onto Superchris :rolleyes: :huh IF ANY MAN ever said that too me I'd be like WTF youwant pie.......................I'll give you pie PAL!!!! Who knows WHAT would be in it though :):):devil: And it just isn't cool to say you would slap a woman :( you never hear us women talking about slapping men do you?? OK I"m not tryint to be a ****** but come on :)

[gyt-r450]

Originally posted by derekhonda
Beer Study

Yesterday scientists for Health Canada suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

that's funny^^^

[wilkin250r]

Originally posted by SGA
I'll be honest, im a bit older than many of you

Bit of an understatement, wouldn't you say?

[SGA]

Originally posted by wilkin250r
Bit of an understatement, wouldn't you say?
Haha! :D

Errr.....:ermm:

[SuperChris]

Sorry to offend, it's a quote from my favorite show.