insaneracin2003
12-01-2004, 11:13 AM
this is what i got from him this week.
Dear Friends
> I have been watching you very closely
> to see if you have been good this year
> and since you have I will be telling my elves
> to make some goodies for me to
> leave under your tree at Christmas.
> I was going to bring you all
> gifts from the 12 days of Christmas,
> but we had a little problem.
>
> The 12 fiddlers fiddling have
> all come down with VD from fiddling with
> the 10 ladies dancing,
> the 11 lords leaping have knocked up
> the 8 maids a-milking, and the
> 9 pipers piping have been arrested
> for doing weird things to the
> 7 swans a-swimming.
> The 6 geese a-laying,
> 4 calling birds,
> 3 French hens,
> 2 turtle doves
> and the partridge in a pear tree
> have me up to my sled runners in bird ****.
> On top of all this
> Mrs. Claus is going through menopause,
> 8 of my reindeer are in heat,
> the elves have joined the gay liberation
> and some people who can't read a calendar
> have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.
> Maybe next year I will be able
> to get my **** together and bring you the things you want.
>
> This year I suggest
> you get your asses down to Walmart
> before everything is gone.
>
> Love,
> Santa
>
Dear Friends
> I have been watching you very closely
> to see if you have been good this year
> and since you have I will be telling my elves
> to make some goodies for me to
> leave under your tree at Christmas.
> I was going to bring you all
> gifts from the 12 days of Christmas,
> but we had a little problem.
>
> The 12 fiddlers fiddling have
> all come down with VD from fiddling with
> the 10 ladies dancing,
> the 11 lords leaping have knocked up
> the 8 maids a-milking, and the
> 9 pipers piping have been arrested
> for doing weird things to the
> 7 swans a-swimming.
> The 6 geese a-laying,
> 4 calling birds,
> 3 French hens,
> 2 turtle doves
> and the partridge in a pear tree
> have me up to my sled runners in bird ****.
> On top of all this
> Mrs. Claus is going through menopause,
> 8 of my reindeer are in heat,
> the elves have joined the gay liberation
> and some people who can't read a calendar
> have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.
> Maybe next year I will be able
> to get my **** together and bring you the things you want.
>
> This year I suggest
> you get your asses down to Walmart
> before everything is gone.
>
> Love,
> Santa
>