The official funny story thread

[TheFontMaster]

Post your funny stories here, they can be about anything you want. I'm bored tonight and could use a good laugh.

well guess this is funny my bro thought so:o well the one day me and my bro went up to some sand pits about 15 miles away from my house anyway my bro had gone first through these wicked sand trails wiht trees on the side. i have never been through these trails b4 so i was kinda taken it easy in 3rd and he was way up ahead of me so i put it in 4th and starting going pretty fast and i wasnt really paying attention and a branch from a tree (aboot 4 inches thick) hit me in the goggles and helmet and bent the $hit out of my glasses (which were one day old:rolleyes: ) so i start screaming for him to stop and he did and i was kinda pissed and he was laughing at me beacause my glasses were at like a 90 degree angle. its funny now that i look at it but i was pretty pissed off at the moment. actually im pretty lucky now that i think of it. i could have been impaled:huh

[Pvt. Maggot]

one day i ate peanut butter and jelly :)

[Tommy 17]

one of the funniest things i've seen at a exriders ride...


picture this everyone around the fire at h.m... everyones drinkin... pappy goes to sit down on this bench next thing u know hes on his back on the ground... he totaly missed the seat and hit the ground...:o :eek: :blah:


i'll think of some others and post them... right now i'm fighting with the wife:grr:

[400exrules]

Originally posted by Tommy 17
one of the funniest things i've seen at a exriders ride...


picture this everyone around the fire at h.m... everyones drinkin... pappy goes to sit down on this bench next thing u know hes on his back on the ground... he totaly missed the seat and hit the ground...:o :eek: :blah:


i'll think of some others and post them... right now i'm fighting with the wife:grr:

wtf the wife :huh

i thought u were like 19

[nosliw]

one time i built a huge dirt jump but was too stoked about finishing it to think about building a landing, went off it in mid-4th gear. bottomed out, quad ran itself into huge growth of blackberry bushes, i ended up my stomach and laying there for around 10 minutes while my 'friends' went and got the camera.......*******s

:rolleyes:

[400exrules]

i ran in to a mini convertible with 10 clowns in it in 5th gear pinned, my lungs exploded and my heart fell out. I grabbed my heart, stuck it back in and sewed my lungs back together right quick, and then i beat the chit outta the clowns for gettin in my way

[Tommy 17]

Originally posted by 400exrules
wtf the wife :huh

i thought u were like 19


shes my g.f. i call her the wife thou bc we act like we are married haha:p

[roostin_dale]

this is funny in a way...On me and my friends practice track we have a 55 ft double. He reworked the track one day and told me "your gunna have to hit it a little harder now"...So i usually hit this jump in 3rd mid throttle, so this time i hit is in 4th 3/4 thorttle....needless to say i overjumped it by 15 ft and landed on the face of the next double....

I just remember waking up laying over the handlebars with my friends laughing there asses off...i guess i was knocked out for a minute...I just got back on and rode like nothing happend

Only quad injury was my steering stem got bent up pretty nice!

[MichaelS693]

last night my buddy went to a auction and he went outside to sit in the truck cause he was bored and there was a gas station right next to the auction and he had to take a dump well he got in there and took the dump and realized there was no toilet paper so he sat there and thought about it... he took off his socks and well... you know what happened next:D

[Pappy]

i didnt miss the bench:o someone moved it on me :D

[SGA]

One night hanging on the corner this guy in a car stopped and asked us for directions. We told him how to get there which was just around the corner the other way.
There was this big ditch about 10 feet deep,12 foot wide across the street from us.
So he starts to turn around and before we could stop him he backed into the ditch and all you could see was headlights shining straight up in the sky. He was ok, but dam it was funny:D

[SGA]

Originally posted by Pappy
i didnt miss the bench:o someone moved it on me :D
Yeah, Jack Daniels moved it! :macho

[red]

Originally posted by Pappy
i didnt miss the bench:o someone moved it on me :D


no i am pretty sure u missed the bench:blah:

[Pappy]

you sure:confused: the way i remeber it the bench had legs and walked about a foot to the left:p

[red]

hell i dont know but i do know that is was some funny stuff.

[Pappy]

the hatfield coon was funny stuff:bandit:

[red]

yes that was absolutely funny

[red]

and drinkin some beer

[SGA]

One more. One night in shoneys this lady about 400 pounds sat at the table next to us. I noticed the legs on her chair kept spreading further and further apart and would give out soon, so I did the right thing.

I told my friends to watch her chair cause its gonna collapse.
Sure enough, it did and she hit the floor.
We all busted out laughing.:D

Originally posted by SGA
One more. One night in shoneys this lady about 400 pounds sat at the table next to us. I noticed the legs on her chair kept spreading further and further apart and would give out soon, so I did the right thing.

I told my friends to watch her chair cause its gonna collapse.
Sure enough, it did and she hit the floor.
We all busted out laughing.:D

and ur how old?:huh


j/k

this fat chick in my class broke 1 desk and two chairs last year funny stuff

[Syrus]

Originally posted by Pappy
you sure:confused: the way i remeber it the bench had legs and walked about a foot to the left:p

Sorry, maybe i missed something here lol, did u say u were drinking or on some magic mushies ?? :devil:

[SGA]

Originally posted by sEX
and ur how old?:huh j/k
I guess I was about 21 when that happened:)

[kyex40047]

I read this on a different forum. I think it was a true story though.
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me,and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.

It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."

I was stunned.

I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.

I opened the door and stepped out of the house.

I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

Originally posted by kyex40047
I read this on a different forum. I think it was a true story though.
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me,and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.

It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."

I was stunned.

I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.

I opened the door and stepped out of the house.

I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

if i remember correctly quad18star had that happen to him

[TheFontMaster]

Originally posted by sEX
if i remember correctly quad18star had that happen to him

Yup I remember that.

[Scott-300ex]

i pooped yesterday:eek:

[Zwanter]

you freak........lol

[WOracing]

turkey took the back door about 4 times today:bandit:

[Scott-300ex]

ok Spoon:rolleyes:

[Scott-300ex]

ok the post i just made was to a guy saying this "thread should be deleted and its not even slightly funny"

so i said that ok spoon cause the guy spoon on here

ok, so now his post got deleted. so you don't see it,

just clearin it up.

[Nausty]

this break has had a few in it so far... Usually involving my cousins playing tricks on me!:rolleyes:


One of em' started out with My cousin, a couple of his relatives staying at his house for thanks giving and me hanging out at my grandma's bar at around 12 playing pool while there was a pretty decent blonde there and we knew they were looking at one of us and me and my cousin give each other **** on which chicks like us more when one of her friends came up to me and told me to go talk to her. Well one then led to another and I left with and hung out with her for a lil bit. So then it was getting late and my parents kept calling me telling me to get home. (dang it mom). So I had her take me to my cousins house where my truck was.

So we get out, (i was driving) and were all close, dark and alone talking to each otherside then my friggen cousin and his relatives through a package full of firecrackers out the door thereby scaring the **** out of me making me jump up in the air n **** making me look like a *****...

next day

Then on the way back from another town I was sitting shotgun and I was really getting tired and was started to doze off when I heard my cousin look back and wisper something his cousins and I knew something was up but i just ignored em' and fell asleep.

Then my cuz slammed on the brakes while they all screamed DEER! There by scaring the **** out of me again.

[LazeR]

Nausty, all though the first story is pretty mean, its also pretty funny! That would suck though! Just make them know "Paybacks are a biatch"

[Scott-300ex]

man Nausty, that is mean but halarious, im going to have to use the deer one sometime. One time i was falling asleep in a car and the driver apparently looked to my friend in the back and he slaped his arms on my shoulders hard and screamed, scared the piss out of me.


and are you doing a superman while riding a wheely, that looks sweet.:eek:

[Nausty]

yup, superman while riding a wheelie.


Hurts the ribs like no other tho cuz all your weight is on the handlebars.

[Scott-300ex]

that is awsome, it looks SOOOOOO hard to do! and then your even riding a wheely on it:eek:

that is so cool man:D