insaneracin2003
10-14-2004, 07:51 AM
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year-old rancher, in town one day. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a "mail order" bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was.
The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, "She'll be twenty-one in November."
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old friend's later years to be happy ones, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. "How's the new wife?" asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, "Oh, she's pregnant."
The banker, happy that his sage advise had worked out, continued," And how's the hired hand?"
Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too!"
GOES TO SHOW THAT MANY A GOOD TUNE CAN BE PLAYED ON AN OLD INSTRUMENT
I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. His new blonde nurse, Elaine, took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down. While waiting I observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a Tube of K-Y jelly; a rubber glove; and a beer.
When the doctor finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse....... Damm it ELAINE!!!!!!!!!!! I said a BUTT LIGHT
The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, "She'll be twenty-one in November."
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old friend's later years to be happy ones, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. "How's the new wife?" asked the banker.
Tom proudly said, "Oh, she's pregnant."
The banker, happy that his sage advise had worked out, continued," And how's the hired hand?"
Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too!"
GOES TO SHOW THAT MANY A GOOD TUNE CAN BE PLAYED ON AN OLD INSTRUMENT
I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. His new blonde nurse, Elaine, took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down. While waiting I observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a Tube of K-Y jelly; a rubber glove; and a beer.
When the doctor finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse....... Damm it ELAINE!!!!!!!!!!! I said a BUTT LIGHT