insaneracin2003
09-02-2004, 09:15 AM
>
>
>
> >Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
> >conniption,
> >and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
> >
> >Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas,
> >beans, etc., make up "a mess."
> >
> >Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
> >"yonder."
> >
> >Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going
to
> >town, be back directly."
> >
> >Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the
> >white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
> >middle
> >of the table.
> >
> >All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
> >term, but they know the concept well.
> >
> >Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a
> >neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big
bowl
> >of
> >cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also
> >know to
> >add a large banana puddin!
> >
> >Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
"a
> >right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile
or
> >20.
> >
> >Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
> >redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> >
> >No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
> >signal is actually going to make a turn.
> >
> >A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
> >adverb.
> >
> >Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do
> >"queues,"
> >we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
> >
> >Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
> >related,
> >even if only by marriage.
> >
> >Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
> >
> >Southerners know grits come from corn and how t o eat them.
> >
> >Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
> >perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
that
> >fried
> >green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
> >
> >When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
> >are
> >in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> >
> >Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates
> >the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
> >"Sweet
> >milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
> >
> >And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
> >ladies
> >who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go
> >your
> >own way.
> >
> >To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take
> >two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
morning.
> >Bless
> >your heart!
> >
> >And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this
> >Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
classes
> >on
> >Southernness as a second language!
> >
> >And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
> >time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that reads "I aint
> >from the
> >South but I got here as fast as I could."
> >
> >Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day. :)
>
>
>
>
> >Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
> >conniption,
> >and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
> >
> >Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas,
> >beans, etc., make up "a mess."
> >
> >Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
> >"yonder."
> >
> >Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going
to
> >town, be back directly."
> >
> >Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the
> >white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
> >middle
> >of the table.
> >
> >All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
> >term, but they know the concept well.
> >
> >Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a
> >neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big
bowl
> >of
> >cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also
> >know to
> >add a large banana puddin!
> >
> >Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
"a
> >right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile
or
> >20.
> >
> >Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
> >redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> >
> >No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
> >signal is actually going to make a turn.
> >
> >A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
> >adverb.
> >
> >Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do
> >"queues,"
> >we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
> >
> >Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
> >related,
> >even if only by marriage.
> >
> >Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
> >
> >Southerners know grits come from corn and how t o eat them.
> >
> >Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
> >perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
that
> >fried
> >green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
> >
> >When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
> >are
> >in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> >
> >Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates
> >the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
> >"Sweet
> >milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
> >
> >And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
> >ladies
> >who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go
> >your
> >own way.
> >
> >To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take
> >two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
morning.
> >Bless
> >your heart!
> >
> >And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this
> >Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
classes
> >on
> >Southernness as a second language!
> >
> >And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
> >time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch that reads "I aint
> >from the
> >South but I got here as fast as I could."
> >
> >Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day. :)
>
>