04-07-2004, 08:14 AM
>
>This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
> >bad day at work...think of this guy.
> >Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
> >He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
> >E-mail he sent to his sister.
> >
> >She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne,
> >Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
> >
> >Needless to say, she won.
> >
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >Hi Sue,
> >
> >Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had
> >a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so
> >I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
> >bad after all.
> >
> >Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
> >few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
> >of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
> >
> >This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
> >this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
> >
> >This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
> >it to a delightful temperature.
> >
> >It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to
> >the air hose.
> >
> >Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
> >with no complaints.
> >
> >What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit.
> >
> >This floodsmy whole suit with warm water.
> >
> >It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
> >
> >Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
> >
> >So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
> >seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the
> >damage was done.
> >
> >In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked
> >up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
> >
> >Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
> >it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
> >
> >When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
> >jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
> >
> >I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
> >
> >His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
> >other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
> >
> >Needless to say I aborted the dive.
> >
> >I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
> >totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
> >my chamber dry decompression.
> >
> >When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
> >helmet.
> >
> >As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
> >down his face, Handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
> >butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
> >
> >The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt
> >was swollen shut.
> >
> >So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
> >would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
> >
> >Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".
>This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
> >bad day at work...think of this guy.
> >Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
> >He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
> >E-mail he sent to his sister.
> >
> >She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne,
> >Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
> >
> >Needless to say, she won.
> >
> >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >Hi Sue,
> >
> >Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had
> >a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so
> >I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
> >bad after all.
> >
> >Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
> >few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
> >of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.
> >
> >This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
> >this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
> >
> >This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
> >it to a delightful temperature.
> >
> >It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to
> >the air hose.
> >
> >Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
> >with no complaints.
> >
> >What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit.
> >
> >This floodsmy whole suit with warm water.
> >
> >It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
> >
> >Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
> >
> >So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few
> >seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the
> >damage was done.
> >
> >In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked
> >up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
> >
> >Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
> >it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
> >
> >When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
> >jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
> >
> >I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
> >
> >His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
> >other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
> >
> >Needless to say I aborted the dive.
> >
> >I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
> >totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
> >my chamber dry decompression.
> >
> >When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass
> >helmet.
> >
> >As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
> >down his face, Handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
> >butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
> >
> >The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt
> >was swollen shut.
> >
> >So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
> >would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
> >
> >Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".